Twisted Reality
by Mymomomo
Summary: "You might want to look down captain," He looked down before she had a chance to finish and what he saw caused him to blush furiously. Not only was he wearing one of Matsomoto's yukatas but now it seemed that he also had-"MATSUMOTOOOO!- genderbender -DISCONTINUED-
1. The accident

**So... *takes a deep breath* ... phew now that that's over with**

**warning attempted humour so this may or may not be funny hehe... *shrinks into the back ground***

**shall we proceed to the story then?**

**enjoy**

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"Matsumoto," the small, white-haired Taicho growled, "Remove your hands from my person immediately."

He was being as patient as possible considering that his lieutenant had her hand firmly clamped over his eyes. Why? He had no idea, only that she did not want him to see something.

"Promise you won't get mad." She whined, "It wasn't anybody's fault, a complete accident."

Now he was completely curios. What would he get mad at? Was his division destroyed? Did they burn his haori? Was his paperwork shredded... dear god not the paperwork, he had spent hours on that last set.

"Matsumoto..." he growled.

"Promise."

He sighed. He couldn't even move her hands form his face himself, his hands were bound too. Oh she was going to pay for this. How dare she tie up her captain- in his own office at that after spilling some grape juice on him, and then covering his eyes and refusing to tell him why? Come to think of it, how did she manage to bind him anyway? The last thing he remembered was feeling dizzy when she had spilt the ... rancid (he was sure that it was years past the expiry date) and then... his eyes widened had he passed out? What if he was allergic to grape juice and she had gotten him really sick, what if he had a rash or some other allergic reaction? No, no, no, who had ever heard of a Taicho of the Gotei 13 getting a rash from grape juice! But then again with his luck... it was possible that it would happen, like he had to be the one to find out that peanuts were the worst allergy inducing food in the Seireitei. He couldn't even breath after that one; literally, his throat had been swollen shut. Well at least he did not feel sick... but still, now he was even more curious to see what was going on.

"Matsumoto..."

"Promise you won't get mad Taicho, please."

"Fine I won't get mad. Now release me."

He heard her swallow then her palm was removed from his face. His vision was blurry for a minute as he looked around the office. He was lying down on the couch, when had he gotten there? Nothing looked damaged in anyway except... the paperwork, the ink was seeping through the purple drenched papers. He felt a sick feeling in his stomach, so that was what she had been trying to hide. He felt his eyebrow start to twitch.

"Explain." He ordered his blond lieutenant.

She scratched the back of her neck and avoided her gaze, "Well...taicho you see the thing is... I'm so sorry don't freeze me to death!"

He sighed, "Why would I freeze you to death, over paperwork? Which you are re-doing by the way."

She looked confused for a second, "Paperwork? She turned to the desk that was dripping with the purple liquid. "Oh yeah that," pause, he knew what was coming next 3-2-1 "Yeah I'll have it done right away."

Or not. "Wha- are you actually willing to do the paperwork? Who are you and what have you done with my lieutenant?"

She giggled nervously, "I um well, just don't kill me Taicho."

He was beginning to get annoyed. "Why would I kill you Matsumoto! The paperwork is insignificant... somewhat, and I would not be mad- much- at you for spilling grape juice all over me- to which I'm allergic to by the way. Annoyed beyond explanation, yes, but killing intent? No."

"Grape juice?" she glanced at the purple liquid, so that was why he was not mad. If only he just knew the half of it.

"So tell me Matsumoto, why did you spill grape juice all over me and my work and how did I end up on the couch... and why the hell didn't you clean it up already?"

"um.."

"Answer me woman!"

"I was afraid to touch it sir!"

He rolled his eyes of course Matsumoto would be Matsumoto. But afraid to clean up the juice on his desk? He got the feeling that there was something that he was yet to let on to.

"What exactly did you do?"

She tugged at a lock of ginger hair and bit her bottom lip, "I know that it was a stupid idea taicho but I didn't believe it would work... I'm so sorry please don't hurt me!"

He growled in annoyance, "What. Happened. Matsumoto. My patience is wearing thin."

She gulped. "Okay, well here goes." She took a deep breath. "I was on my way to the office yesterday when I ran in to some guy from the 12th and one of our men arguing about something. I investigated and I found out that the 12th guy was trying to sell our guy something from the 12th labs. Our guy said that the price was too high but then the 12th guy said that it was worth all the trouble he had to go through to steal it from Kurotsuchi-Taicho. So at once I knew that what they were doing was against the rules. So being the good lieutenant that I am - Hitsugaya snorted- I went up to them and confiscated whatever it was that they were arguing about."

"That's all nice Matsumoto," he sighed, " but what does any of this have to do with me on the couch, grape juice on my paperwork and you avoiding my initial question!"

"I'm getting to that Taicho. Okay, so I was heading to the office to ask you what I should do with those two, I don't exactly know what the punishment is for steal something from a captain then attempting to sell it is."

"Theft any kind is punishable by cleaning duty and a curfew. Now on with it."

"Right. Well I was kinda running when I entered the office and well, I always told you that having that carpet there was not a good idea..."

Hitsugaya could see where this was going and he did not like it at all. Nope, not one bit. "Let me guess, you tripped on the carpet and spilt whatever it was that you confiscated on me."

"... Yes." She squeaked.

He sighed, "So I'm also guessing that that isn't grape juice all over my papers."

"...No."

"So that would explain the black out... and why you were afraid to touch it... what was 'it' by the way."

She swallowed audibly, "I'm not too sure, but... but... Taicho please don't freeze me it was an accident I swear! I don't look good in ice, it dries out my hair!"

"Goddamnit woman! I'm not going to freeze you! It was an... _accident_ after all. Even if I did miss out a day..."

She still looked apprehensive, "I called Unohana-Taicho over to check you over she was very busy yesterday. I told her you had fainted and the other captains understood why you weren't at the meeting yesterday- she should be here any minute now..."

"Shit I missed a meeting..."

"So Taicho, how are you feeling?"

"What? ... um a bit dizzy I guess, and a sore throat, does my voice sound any different to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like does it sound higher?"

Just then there was a knock on the door, "It's me, Unohana-Taicho? May I come in?"

"Yeah the door is open." Matsumoto called out while Hitsugaya shook his head mumbling something about lack of respect.

The healer-captain entered the room, "So how is Hitsugaya-Taicho-" she stopped short her eyes falling on the small captain they widened slightly, "Oh my. What happened here?"

Hitsugaya licked his lips what exactly was that concoction Matsumoto had spilt on him? and why did Unohana look so disturbed? Mutation maybe, dyed hair?

"What's wrong? Unohana-Taicho?" he asked the healer. Matsumoto looked horribly pale.

"H-Hitsugaya-Taicho when was the last time you looked in a mirror?"

Ah so it was his appearance. "I don't know yesterday morning before I came to work maybe."

"I see Lieutenant Matsumoto, what happened to ... him?"

"I- hehe... I kind of accidentally not on purpose somewhat by mistake unintentionally possibly... spilt something form the 12th division on him."

"Oh dear." She turned to the 10th taicho something akin to worry on her face _he seems to be taking this rather calm, or has he noticed yet?_ "H-how do you feel Hitsugaya-Taicho?"

He raised an eyebrow why did everybody keep on asking him that question? "I feel fine why wouldn't I be? What is every on about?"

"Has anybody else seen... him like this Rangiku?"

"No, I haven't let anybody in the office since yesterday."

"Good let's keep it like this, of course the other captains need to know his predicament..."

"What predicament? Why are you two-"

"I can't believe that he hasn't noticed yet..."

"Me to actually..."

The two women stared at him.

"What? What?"

Matsumoto sighed, " you might want to look down captain- but before you do I just want to tell you that I am reaallllyyyy sorry and I hope you can forgive me for this and remember that it wasn't my fault so-"

He looked down before she had a chance to finish and what he saw caused him to blush furiously. He was wearing a simple baby green yukata that was way too big for him. The sleeves fell past his fingers and the darker green obi was tied tightly scrunching up the fabric. He wondered why he did not notice that Matsumoto had changed his clothes in the first place. But then he saw the dangerously low neck-line. His eyes widened and his blush intensified tenfold. Not only was he wearing one of Matsomoto's yukatas but now it seemed that he also had-

"MATSUMOTOOOOOOOOOOO!" the entire 10th division shook with the oh-so-familiar yell. The division members paused for a second at the sound briefly wondering what their Lieutenant had done this time, but shook their heads deciding that they really did not want to know. At least the Taicho was better now.

Back in the administrative office...

"You promised that you wouldn't get mad Taicho!" Matsumoto protested.

"That was before I found out that you turned me into a-a-a-a-a-a ... _this_!"

"The correct term is girl, Taicho."

"... Reign over the forested frozen skies,"

"Eeep!"

Unohana smiled gently, "I understand your distress Hitsugaya-Taicho, but please control yourself."

The young boy (coughgirlcough) hung his head. How was he supposed to live this down? It was worse that the peanut-butter incident. If anyone got wind of this...that, yes, he Hitsugaya Taicho, the renowned child prodigy, the captain of squad 10 was now... female.

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**So... what do you think is it totally horrible?**

**even if it is I plan to continue anyway...*wipes sweaty palms on jeans* butitwonthurttoreview **

**-Mymomomo**


	2. First attempt

**chapter 2 ppl**

**firstly, I'd like to thank those who actually read chapter 1 especially Kaiser969 (thank you for the ideas xD, I didn't use them in this chap though, but look out for some of them in up comming chapters)**

**Now read.

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This could not be happening. There was no way that this could be happening. There was just simply _no way_ that this could be happening. Yet it _was_ happening. Ever heard the saying that anything is possible? Well apparently it's true.

"It could be worse Taicho." Matsumoto attempted to sooth him. She had removed the bindings on his hands after he had assured her that he would do her no physical harm. Unohana had left shortly afterwards saying that she was going to look into the situation.

The young Taicho was not in the mood to be _soothed_. He glared at her with his famous death-by-ice glares. "How can it be worse, Matsumoto, HOW? You made me switch genders! There cannot possibly be anything worse than this!"

She looked thoughtful for a minute, "It could have changed you into a ... duck."

He raised a twitching eyebrow, "A duck, Matsumoto? Well frankly I'd rather be a duck than a female right now!"

The blond woman looked affronted. She crossed her arms over her substantial bosom, "What's wrong with being female?"

Hitsugaya looked wearily over at his lieutenant he was not in the mood for such a petty argument now, especially since he had much bigger problems to worry about, such as _him being female._ Those three words were ones he thought that he would never have to say in a sentence together. "There is nothing wrong with being female, Matsumoto, however, I. Am. A. Male. You can see for yourself where the problem lies."

She hung her head, "I'm sorry Taicho."

He sighed. Yes he was very much ticked off at his Lieutenant, thinking that it was only to him that something like this could happen to. Still he did not want to put all the blame on her. If he ever got the name of the man who had attempted to sell this concoction or even the man who wanted to buy it well, let's just say that The Seireitei would be in for an early winter this year, by about four months. Who the hell would even make something like this in the first place? Wait, hold up, rewind. What the hell was Kurotsuchi doing experimenting with this kind of stuff? The two men would not be the only ones on the receiving end of Hyourinmaru. That madman should be banned from making potions that had anything to do with gender. Heck, he should be banned from making potions, period. Research he called it. Hitsugaya snorted, _research my ass._

He raked a hand through his snowy white hair, which had grown a bit longer since yesterday. It now reached to just above his shoulders in a wild, messy tangle. He did not like the feel of the hair on the back of his neck. It was uncomfortable. In fact he felt uncomfortable with his whole body now. He would have folded his arms across his chest if it wasn't for something, or rather two things that prevented him from doing so. Even if he hated to admit it, he was young, his body undeveloped. He his body was equivalent to that of a ten-year-old human. Right now he was at the brink of adolescence. As a girl, his chest would have still been next to flat. However, something was there no matter how small and he did not like it, not _one_ bit. So, folding his arms across his –ehem- chest would be a big no for the time being. This was the very definition of awkward. He did not even want to think about the _parts_ that were missing. It left an empty feeling in his stomach, or rather below his stomach. He immediately felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

_ Okay calm down Hitsugaya, _he told himself, _just don't think about that, don't even think about thinking about it._

_ Your thinking about it now aren't you?_ Hyourinmaru cut in sounding, to Toushiro's mortification, slightly amused.

He sent an inward scowl towards the ice dragon, _I am NOT thinking about that._

_ Don't be so immature, Toushiro, you have to think about it. What happens when you have to use the bathroom? Huh didn't think of that now did you?_

He felt his cheeks heat up, _No I hadn't thought about that until you brought it up, thanks for that by the way. I'll just hold it._

_ What if you have to go really badly?_

_ ...They don't call me a prodigy for no reason._

He saw the dragon roll his eyes in his mind, _Wonderful so you'll upgrade from heavenly guardian to the boy who can hold his excrement for the longest. I applaud you for that, child._

_ Just shut up Hyourinmaru, this is not the time to make jokes._ _I need to find a way to get back to normal._

The dragon nodded, however he did not seem to be serious at all. _Yes I totally agree, though the change might be for the better, I've always wondered what it would be like to work with a female partner._

_How dare you! How can you even think that! And since I'm female that means you are too, so ha._

_Nope._

_Nope, what?_

_I'm male. The potion only changed your physical appearance, which means inside you still are male. Thus I still am male._

_No way that's impossible!_

_Nope. Wanna check?_

_N-N-N-NO!_

"Taicho," Matsumoto's voice brought him back to the real world, "You're turning different shades of red, is that healthy?"

He shook his head trying to stop himself from blushing. "No, it was just Hyourinmaru." His eyes widened as she suddenly let out an ear piercing squeal.

"Taicho, do that again!"

"Wha-"

"I don't care what you think; you make such a cute girl!"

His redden checks turned into a fierce scowl, "If you ever say that again Matsumoto, you will be buried under so much paperwork you won't be able to _breathe_."

"Hai, Taicho."

He sighed; she really must feel an ounce of guilt for doing this to him. She normally would have gone on and on about something like this. But all that aside, what was he supposed to do about the situation at hand, namely the one that included him not being a boy. Did the potion wear off? How long would it take until it did? What if it was_ permanent_? He would kill, no obliterate, Kurotsuchi if it was. That bastard... Right now Toushiro did not care about the rules of The Seireitei. Screw Yamamoto, Central 46 and their laws against captains fighting; if this thing was permanent Krutosuchi was going down. He contemplated on it for a while; maybe castration was a fitting punishment. Then he would think twice about making something that would change a person's gender.

"Um Taicho..."

"What is it now Matsumoto?"

"What are you going to do?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?

"Well um you're... change... is kind of noticeable, and um what are you going to tell the other Taichos and the subordinates?"

"... The Taichos will know the truth, that can't be helped, but for the rest of the Seireitei..." He paled, "Do you know how long this will last for?"

"What? You can't be thinking about hiding from them Taicho!"

"... No don't be ridiculous Matsumoto. I'll just lock myself in the office, it won't be hiding technically speaking, they'll know where I am, plus I'll have food, and water, so we'll all be happy."

"You can't do that Taicho..."She said shaking her head, "What if it lasts for months?"

"I'd rather not think of that. Now go clean up that mess on my desk." He indicated the purple liquid that had now dripped onto the floor.

She look horrified like he had asked her to take on an arrancar without Haineko . "Eh, NO WAY TAICHO! What if I touch it and end up like you! Nu uh, the 10th division can only handle one transvestite at a time, thank you very much."

Toushiro's eyebrow began to twitch rapidly and a vein pulsed in his forehead, "What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?"

Her eyes widened, "Oh, er, um, is it too late to tell you how truly sorry I am?"

He was about to open his mouth to shout her into next week but Hyourinmaru cut him off.

_Wait master that makes sense._

He raised an eyebrow, _what makes sense?_

_Rangiku's little theory._

_That if she touches the potion she may turn into a man? Well of course it makes sense! I've already proved that haven't I?_

The dragon sighed, _let's take this slowly. You are a genius in some areas Toushiro, but in others... Anyway the potion changes a person's gender right?_

_That's blatantly obvious Hyourinmaru._

_Good. And you are female now, are you not?_

_...Yeah._

_So if you touch the potion again..._

_I should turn back into a male! Hyourinmaru you're a genius._

_Well you had to get it from somewhere._

_Don't push it._

_Yes master._

This had better work. He got up from the couch trying not to trip over the too long yukata. Matsumoto watched his actions in perplexity. He went over to his desk, his once spotless, organised desk, and took in the disgusting purple substance all over it. He felt sick to the stomach once again. All his paperwork, his completed paperwork was ruined. He had spent hours on it. So many sleepless nights turned to a purple mush.

He took a deep breath it's no use crying over spilt milk.

_Or grape juice._

_I thought I told you to shut it?_

_Fine, fine._

He stretched out his hand slowly-

"Taicho..." Matsumoto voiced from her spot on the couch.

"Yes Matsumoto?"

"What are you doing?"

He sighed (he noticed that he was doing that a lot lately), "What does it look like? If the potion changed me, a male, into a girl, then now that I am a girl shouldn't it do the opposite?"

She put a finger to her lips thinking about it for a while.

He continued to stretch his hand out to the purple on his desk. Why was his hand shaking?

"Taicho..."

"Yes Matsumoto?"

"I don't think that that's gonna work."

"Well we'll just see if it does or doesn't."

His index finger was only two centimetres away from the purple gunk.

"Taicho..."

"_Yes_ Matsumoto?"

"What if it makes it worse?"

"How is it going to make it worse?"

_She does have a point there Toushiro_. Hyourinmaru noted, _What if you become more girly? Instead of only being a girl on the outside, what if you start to think like one too?_

_This was YOUR idea shouldn't you have weighed the pros and cons before you told me? You can't chicken out now, what if it does work?_

_Fine don't listen to me._

_I am listening to you. It was your idea that I touch this thing again in the first place!_

_Don't come crying to me if it goes wrong._

He tuned out whatever the dragon said after that. He extended his finger-

"Taicho..."

"WHAT? Can it wait two seconds Matsumoto, just two stinking seconds?"

"...Okay."

He sighed and without further ado pressed his finger into the purple muck. He winced, closed his eyes and waited. Nothing. He waited some more. The only thing that happened was a small air bubble popping. Other than that it felt cold, wet and sticky, kind of like grape juice. He did not feel dizzy and the world did not go black like it had done before.

_Was something supposed to happen?_

He withdrew his hand from the desk and wiped his finger on the yukata. Matsumoto winced at the purple stain that remained on the green fabric.

"It didn't work." She announced.

"No really? I hadn't noticed." He deadpanned.

"So now what?"

"I can honestly say that I have no idea, Matsumoto. The only people I know that can help me now are Unohana and Kurotsuchi." He ran a hand through his hair. Why did such... odd things always happen in the 10th? You never heard of Kuchiki-Taicho having an allergic reaction to peanut-butter. Komamura-Taicho never had problems with his Lieutenant doing paperwork. And as troublesome as Yachiru was, Zaraki-Taicho had never been changed into a woman!

"You think that Kurotsuchi-Taicho has an antidote?"

"He better. Or I'm going to run him through with Hyourinmaru until he makes one."

She shook her head, "Silly Taicho, if you run him through he'll die and won't be able to make the antidote."

He rolled his eyes, and then turned to the desk. He may as well get rid of this mess. He scooped up the soggy purple papers and dumped them into the trash bin at the foot of his desk. It pained his heart to see all his hard work go to waste like that. There went the budget report for the past five months and two days of his life. He inwardly whimpered. What did he ever do to deserve this? Was he that much of a bad person when he was alive that he had to be tortured so much in his afterlife? The poor, poor paper work...

"Taicho, can you please try not to dirty that yukata too much? I rather like that one."

"I'll dirty it if I please. It's partially your fault that I'm in this mess. In fact you're the one who should be cleaning my desk now."

"But Taicho..."

"Matsumoto please just be quiet." He picked up another soggy purple paper. The ink had run so much that he could not even tell what had been written on it in the first place. It was like the paperwork was crying at its own demise. "Oh and Matsumoto?"

"Yes Taicho?"

"You can start on re-writing the budget reports."

"Now?" she whined.

He shot her a sharp glance.

"Fine I'm going."

He went around to the back of his desk and fished out a cleaning cloth form one of the drawers and proceeded to wipe the desk surface.

"Taicho..."

"Yes Matsumoto?" This was getting old and fast.

"You look like a little house-wife doing that!" she squealed, "I need a camera!"

"You need no such thing!" Toushiro exclaimed feeling a blush rise to his cheeks, "And I told you one more comment about me being a girl..."

"Eeep! Sorry, I'm sorry!"

_Relax child, there's no need for such treats. I was thinking the same thing._

_ Shut up._

_ But it's true. You can't help what you are. And now in your case you're a girl cleaning a desk and look like a little house-wife._

_ Hyourinmaru..._

_ I know you can't live without me Toushiro. You love me too much._

_ Would you like to wager on that?_

_ ... So mean master. That hurt._

_ Then shut up already on me being a girl!_

_ Okay, okay geez. He's only been female for two hours and already he's PMSing._

_ HYOURINMARU!_

With a chuckle like the sound of rolling thunder the dragon's presence faded,_ I love you too Toushiro!_

"Damn dragon," he muttered to himself as he wiped down the desk with enough force to make the wood splinter.

"What was that Taicho?"

"Nothing." He glanced up at his lieutenant, wow. She was actually doing work. Amazing, but then something caught his sight causing him to frown.

"Matsumoto?"

"Yes Taicho?"

"Are you aware that the office windows are closed?"

"Uh huh. I closed them so no one could sneak in to see you like this when you were asleep."

"How thoughtful of you- note the heavy sarcasm here- but are you also aware that the hell butterflies usually use the windows to enter the office?"

"Yeah."

He rubbed his temples he felt a migraine coming on. "Matsumoto, there is a hell butterfly outside looking for a way to get in."

"Oh,"

"So OPEN THE DAMN WINDOWS!"

She sprung up from the seat and opened all the windows almost as quick as Yoruichi's flash step.

The butterfly flew in, he held out a hand and it landed on his finger.

_Attention all Taichos. There is a meeting today at 3:00 pm._

Wonderful, just wonderful.

"Matsumoto? What time is it?"

"3:15, why?"

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Why did these things always happen to him? First the gender switch now this? What next, was he going to get run over by a talking elephant? No wait, with his luck that could happen, it was best if he just kept his mouth shut.

"Where are my clothes Matsumoto and my haori?"

"You're not going out like that, are you?'

"It can't be helped there's a captains' meeting now."

"Oh. Well at least let me fix your hair before you go."

He raised an eyebrow, "Not on your life."

"But I'm already dead, Taicho."

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**So how was it this time? **

**I added Hyourinmaru b/c Hitsu is never complete without him, and i especially gave him a childish personality to show Hitsu's childish qualities, dontkillmeifyoudon'tlikeitpleeeeaseeeeeee**

**and of course i wouldn't make it _that_ easy to turn him back there's gonna be a lot more torture *cough I mean fun yeah lots and lots of fun hehe**

**tip for the day: review, review, review!**

**-Mymomomo**


	3. Scissors and the facts of life

**And here's chapter three xD**

**Thanks to all who reviewed, you're encouragement was really appreciated**

**Disclaimer: (i got this odd feeling that i should have been doing this the whole time 0_o oh well)... I own bleach and I'm an eight foot tall purple snail from outer space... who eats red clay bricks**

**Now one with the story!- cue Indiana Jones theme song**

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"LET GO OF ME WOMAN!"

"If you think that I'm going to let you walk around The Seireitei like _that _then you've got something coming!"

"It can't be helped! I need to go to the Taichos' meeting!"

"Not like that you are!"

"Matsumotooooo!"

The 10th division office was in complete tumult. Papers were everywhere, chairs overturned and the couch's cushions were scattered all over. The strawberry blond woman had cornered her small Taicho against the book case. His eyes widened and he almost attempted to climb the shelves to get away from her. Keywords: almost attempted, there was no way he would do anything... well _more _undignified than he already had. Instead he flattened himself as much as he could against the bookcase. Needless to say that did not help at all.

He swallowed, "M-Matsumoto you stay away from me with that thing..."

She advanced on him like a tiger on wounded prey.

"Seriously, I don't have time for this! There is a Taicho's meeting that I'm already late for!"

She came closer an evil glint in her pale blue eyes. "Now hold still Taicho, this isn't going to hurt."

His eyes widened as she brandished the_ hairbrush_ and dove at him. If he had not been a Taicho, if he had not been adept in the use of flash step, if he hadn't ducked when he had, he would have probably lost his head. The physical thing, he had lost his mind about two hours ago. He appeared on the other side of the office breathing heavily.

"I told you once and I will tell you again, you are not brushing my hair!" He yelled at his Lieutenant.

"But Taicho, it's so messy!" She whined, coming at him again.

"I don't care!" He dodged another attack and ended up next to his desk.

_Wow, I never knew that Rangiku could move that fast. _Hyourinmaru noted.

_What she can do when she puts her mind to it is unbelievable, if only I could get her to do the paperwork with as much fervour._

_Maybe you can compromise, if you let her brush your hair; she has to do the paperwork?_

_I am not negotiating. She's not brushing my hair and that is final._

_Okay then, you might want to duck._

"Ack!" The woman was literally on top of him. He ran around to the other side of the desk. "Stop this, this instant Matsumoto!"

"I will not let you out of the office looking like that, Taicho. It goes against every instinct in my body!"

"You didn't care if I had messy hair before!"

_Nice counter, how will Rangiku defend herself?_

"You were a boy before. Us women have an image to uphold."

_Ooooo, what does the great Hitsugaya say to that?_

"The only difference is that my hair is longer."

_She surely won't take that one sitting down..._

"Precisely, it looks atrocious when it's all tangled up like that."

_Oooo burn. Rangiku:1 Toushiro:0_

"So it's the length that bothers you." It was not a question, "So if it was short again you wouldn't care?"

"What are you getting at Tachio?"

_Wait, I'm re-tallying that score..._

He bent over and opened one of his desk drawers. He rummaged in it for a while before pulling something out. He straightened, swinging a pair of scissors around his index finger. There was a loud gasp from both Rangiku and Hyourinmaru.

"Taicho! You wouldn't dare!"

_Master! You wouldn't dare! Put it down NOW! Be reasonable you wouldn't really cut off all that nice, silky, smooth hair would you?_

"Wouldn't I?" He said answering both.

Before the words even left his mouth Matsumoto had thrown herself at him. This time she did not miss.

Toushiro yelped as the two hit the ground hard. He did not even have time to dodge that one.

_Go Rangiku! Beat some sense into him!_

He struggled against her. "GET OFF OF ME!"

His arms and legs flailed violently, but to no avail she held him down tight.

"I can't belie that you were going to cut your hair!"

He growled and thrashed around even more aggressively. Matsumoto scowled and rested all her weight on top of him. The match was basically won. Let us pause and list the facts. 1) Matsumoto is a grown woman probably weighing around 120 pounds. 2) Hitsugaya is a little boy, erm, girl who had not even finished growing yet. According to the laws of physics the bigger and heavier object will always have the upper hand when it comes to wrestling. Though, someone should enlighten the little Taicho about that. Or maybe it was just that he had too much fighting spirit. Be it ignorance or fortitude he was still struggling against the staggering odds, quite literally.

She slapped the scissors out of his hand and it went skidding across the hard-wood floor. He glared at the woman on top of him, his hand stung now.

"I'm sorry Taicho but it's for your own good."

He felt his face turning red and a vein pulsed vehemently in his temple. "MAT-SU-MO-"

He was cut off not by the laughter of his zanpakuto, who was laughing his icy tail off by the way, but by the sound of someone sliding the office door open.

"Hitsugaya-Tai..."

His eyes widened as he turned to the man at the door who had frozen in his place. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds neither knowing what to do or say. Then the man bowed breaking the trance.

"I- I'm sorry for interrupting." He said with a blush.

"I-It's not what it looks like!" Toushiro yelled but the man had already closed the door shut.

"Arrrughhhh!" he roared, banging the back of his head against the floor, all the while becoming aware of how suggestive his and Matsumoto's position looked. She was sitting on his hips, leaning over him, her arms pinning his shoulders to the ground. What else could go wrong? He already knew the answer to that question. Nothing, absolutely nothing.

_Somebody, shoot me now!_ He banged his head harder on the floor. Maybe if he did it hard enough he would pass out then wake up to find out that this all had been some horrible, sick, twisted nightmare.

"Taicho, you'll give yourself brain damage if you keep that up."

He let loose a fierce growl in response.

_Okay I've re-calculated the final score._ Hyourinmaru interjected gleefully.

Toushiro banged harder. That last one actually caused him to see stars.

_And the results are: Rangiku:2 Toushiro:0 that-guy- who-just-opened-the-door: 10! And the crowd goes wild!_

_SHUT THE HELL UP, HYOURINMARU!_

_But look on the bright side Toushiro._

_What bright side? There is no bright side; all I can see is impending doom._

_The man who just left, he was so preoccupied with you and Matsumoto's position that he probably didn't even notice that you were a girl._

_Was that supposed to make me feel better?_

_You mean you don't feel any better?_

_I'll give you three seconds to leave me the hell alone._

_I'm going, I'm gonig!_

The world was out to get him. He was sure of that. Now, not only was he female, but in probably less than half an hour his entire division would think that he was doing _indecent _ stuff with his lieutenant. The rate that gossip spread around The Seireitei could put a wild fire to shame. He could actually see his reputation being ripped to shreds. All his hard work making a name for himself had gone out the window, just like that. If he was anybody else he would have broken down crying by now. These things seemed to be unique to him. It was like he had a magnet for these sorts of situations or something. Like he had a blinking neon sign above his head saying awkwardness welcome, I have rooms and meals free of charge. And now he had a headache. But that was probably because of all the head-banging. Why wouldn't he just fall unconscious already, goddamnit? Stupid high resistance to pain, all that stupid endurance training.

"Taicho that's enough of that you'll burst a blood vessel that way." Matsumoto said getting off of him and pulling him to his feet.

"Nooooo, I haven't lost consciousness yet."

"Don't be silly Taicho, the world isn't going to end just because of one guys perverted mind." She said shaking her head and dragging Toushiro over to the couch.

"I know that, but my reputation might..."

"It's not that bad..."

"Matsumoto, that man thought that we were having se- SHUT UP HYOURINMARU IT ISN'T THAT FUNNY!"

_Of course it is! This should be a show! You're not even sexually active yet! Do you even know how stuff like that works? Ah hahaha!_ _ Oh that's hilarious! _The dragon was rolling all over his mindscape shaking uncontrollably with laughter. If he was able to cry Toushiro was sure that there would be tears streaming down his snout.

"Don't make fun of my sexual maturity. And of course I know how it works!"

_Oh, you sneaky dog you..._

"Taicho, you do know that you said that out loud right?"

"... Damn dragon."

Matsumoto chuckled causing her shoulders to shake and her reddish-blond hair to fall over her face, but stopped short at the death glare he sent her.

"Oh, Taicho." All of a sudden realisation dawned in her eyes and she let out a small gasp, "Taicho, the meeting!"

He slapped his forehead, "It doesn't make any sense going. It's probably over by now anyway."

"But shouldn't you at least show your face, even if it is only for the last couple of minutes?"

"I suppose you're right..." He replied hanging his head. Yamamoto was going to chew him out, swallow him, spit him back up then incinerate him with Ryujin Jakka for missing two Taicho's meetings in a row. Now _that_ was something he could look forward to.

"Now Taicho, we need to get a disguise." Matsumoto said putting a finger to her lips her eyes sparkling in a way that made Toushiro sick to his stomach.

He swallowed, "A disguise?"

"Yeah while you're in this state we can't let people know that it's really you. You do have an image to up hold as a Taicho after all."

"Or what's left of it at least... but you do have a point."

Her eyes lit up at his statement making him instantly regret agreeing with her.

_We both knew this was coming._

"Great, I'm glad you see it my way Taicho! Okay you'll be my long lost cousin... um."

_Kaida. _Hyourinmaru stated.

"Kaida?" Toushiro wondered out loud.

"Kaida! That's perfect, little dragon!"

_The HELL Hyourinmaru?_

_Sorry, I couldn't let it pass. _

_You are so dead..._

"Kaida Matsumoto, I like it."

"Okay, so even if they believe that I am somehow related to you, explain why I look exactly like Hitsugaya-Taicho. They'll see straight through that ploy." He responded folding his hands across his chest.

It was such a simple action really. He blushed red and immediately went rigged, his hands shooting back to his sides.

_Don't be so immature, Toushiro, it's your body you can't be afraid to touch it._

_I'd like to see how you'd react in my position._

_Me too. _ He gave a cheeky grin.

_Damn pervert._

He turned his attention back to his lieutenant. As soon as he took in the expression on her face he felt sick to the stomach. His throat went dry and he licked his lips.

"M-Matsumoto I-I really don't appreciate you staring at me with that expression..."

She giggled sadistically.

_Oh boy, are we in for some fun!_

"W-what are you gonna do... Matsumoto?... Matsumoto! ...MATSUMOTO!"

("\(^.^)/")

Thirteen captains... no wait that's thirteen minus three, minus one... nine captains stood in the meeting hall, well actually only eight were standing Yamamoto-Soutaicho was sitting. Oh whatever, there were nine captains in the meeting hall, _punto final. _

"...And if that is all needed to be discussed we can conclude this meeting." Yamamoto boomed, his voice echoing around the hall.

"Actually, there is still another matter,"

"What is it Kurotsuchi-Taicho?" Yamamoto asked.

"Yesterday a very valuable potion which I had manufactured disappeared from the 12th division labs. If anyone has even the slightest idea to where it might have gone, speak up now."

"I don't think that anyone would be crazy enough to steal anything from you Kurotsuchi-Taicho, we all value our health." Kyoraku pointed out.

Mayuri sniffed, "The point is that it was stolen."

"Are you sure that you didn't misplace it?" Komamura asked.

"Misplace it? I do not misplace things."

"What exactly was this potion Kurotsuchi-Taicho?" Soi-Fon asked.

"It was a special solution. A break-through in science, a new dawn in the theory of genetics!"

"Yes, yes but what does it do?"

"It was designed to switch the second x or the y chromosome in a person."

Ukitake-Taicho raised an eyebrow, "So you mean that it changes a person's gender?"

"Percisely."

Yamamoto's eyes widened, "The locating of Kurotsuchi's potion is now to be top priority. It must be located as soon as possible!"

"Yamamoto-Soutaicho?"Unohana spoke up, "Would the person found with the potion be punished?"

"Theft is punishable Unohana-Taicho. Why do you ask? Is it possible that you know what happened to the potion?"

"I think that we should discuss this when _all _the Taichos are present." She stated.

"Wadaya mean?" Zaraki bellowed, "We're all here."

"Hitsugaya-Taicho is absent Zaraki." Ukitake said shaking his head.

"Hmm, you mean the brat's still sick?" He said looking at the empty spot where the little captain usually stood.

"I went to see him earlier today," Unohana stated, "he was... recovered, but in no _state_ to be walking around The Seireitei."

"I see. Will someone inform Hitsugaya-Taicho about the events of this meeting?" Yamamoto asked.

"I'll go." Kyoraku volunteered.

"And I will accompany him. I haven't seen Shiro-chan in a long time." Ukitake added.

"Very well Kyoraku-Taicho and Ukitake-Taicho will relate the developments to Hitsugaya-Taicho. Are there any other matters that need to be discussed?"

No one said anything.

"Very well. The meeting has ended."

Kyoraku and Ukitake made their way to the 10th division.

"I wander what's wrong with Shiro-chan," Ukitake thought aloud.

"Whatever it is it can't be too bad. It would take a lot to knock him off his feet completely. It's probably just exhaustion; he is a bit of a workaholic after all." Kyoraku responded.

"He does deserve a break, even if he has to get sick to take one." Ukitake agreed.

Just then a small pink ball ran into them knocking them over. (A/N: two guesses to who _that_ is.)

"Wow," Kyoraku mumbled rubbing the back of his head, "Is it just me or did Yachiru get a lot heavier?"

Ukitake picked himself up from the floor then extended his arm to help the minute Shinigami up, "Yachiru, it's very dangerous to be running around at such a speed."

"Yachiru? I'm not Yachiru."

Kyoraku chuckled, "Fine cat-girl," He looked closer at the small girl, "oh, you really aren't Yachiru."

"I just told you that."

The two men stared at the young girl. She was taller than the lieutenant of the 11th division but still looked childish. She had her hair pulled back under a pink scarf so they could not tell what colour it was and she had huge teal eyes, fringed by extremely long, black eyelashes. Kyoraku cocked his head, she was actually quite cute.

"I haven't seen you around here, what's a pretty lady like yourself doing running around The Seireitei?" He flashed her a dazzling smile.

The girl seemed shocked and involuntary took a step back.

"Shunsui, don't scare her." Ukitake interjected shaking his head, "He's right though, are you new here, my dear? What division do you belong to?"

"I wouldn't dream of scaring such a delicate little flower. A beauty such as this one needs to be treated with the utmost care and respect." He bent down so that his face was on the same level as hers and looked straight into her eyes, "Isn't that right, little one?"

She blushed lightly and her eyes widened in apparent shock, "I- I- I..."

Ukitake shook his head, "Please forgive my friend's behaviour, and don't be too offended by his forwardness, he is like this to everyone."

"That's not true Jyuushiro, I have never treated anyone the same way that I intend to treat this precious little flower. "

The white-haired Taicho sighed, "Where were you heading to, child? You weren't searching for anyone were you?"

The pink clad Taicho raised a hand and touched the girl's cheek, "Well search no more my rare, sweet flower, I, the man of your dreams, have come to you."

"Shunsui, really..."

Neither man noticed that the little 'girl's' hands were balled up into fists behind her back or that her blush was neither one of shyness nor embarrassment. However they did not when her disposition took a 180 degree turn.

"My dear flower did I say something that offended yo-"

_SLAP!_

The sound of a hand connecting with a face echoed around the vicinity. Everyone in a ten metre radius stooped what they were doing and looked up wondering who the sorry person was to receive such a beating.

The slapped man recoiled sporting an angry, bright, red hand print on his left cheek. He had almost fallen over with the force of the slap. Ukitake's mouth had shaped itself into a surprised 'o' and his eyes were now permanently an inch larger.

"Alright, I've had enough of this!" The girl yelled absolutely seething with anger.

"Ooohhhh," Kyoraku moaned rubbing his throbbing cheek, who knew that such a small girl could pack such a wallop. But he should have known Nanao was his Lieutenant after all. "Such a backhand, have you ever met my sweet Nanao-chan before?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Ise-Fukutaicho, I shall be speaking to her about you, Kyoraku, if you ever attempt something like that again..."

Ukitake recovered from his initial shock and shaking his head he told his best-friend, "I warned you about trying to flirt with women you don't even know. I apologize for his behaviour... um, I'm sorry I don't believe I caught your name."

The girl turned on him still radiating killing intent, "I can't believe that neither of you recognised me!"

"Er, were we supposed to? I don't remember seeing you around here ever before."

She growled and yanked the pink scarf off of her head revealing a bushy crop of white hair. Teal eyes glared up at them furiously.

Both Taichos were able to put two and two together. There was only one person in the whole of The Soul Society that had both white hair and teal eyes.

"H-H-Hitsugaya-Taicho?"

Kyoraku just pulled his straw hat over his eyes, "I think that it would be safe to say that we have located Kurotsuchi's potion."

* * *

**Any questions, comments, emotional outbursts?**

**(that last part was dedicated expressly to you Kaiser969 hope u liked it)**

**Oh and if anybody would like something 'special' to happen to Hitsu don't hesitate to suggest it...**

**and to do so that means... REVIEW, REVIEW AND REVIEW**

**- Mymomomo**


	4. Daemons: inside and out

**Chapter 4**

**thanks once again to all those who bothered to review, this has been going much faster than I had expected, though I can't really complain...**

**Disclaimer: I own bleach, It's _Clorox_ brand but who's paying attention.**

**scroll down for the real reason you clicked this link.**

* * *

_Oh god, a delicate, little flower, you! Hahaha, wow Kyoraku knows how to give a joke. That one was the best of the year! You're nothing like a flower more like a frozen thorn bush. Once you unfreeze it you get hurt! Ha flower, flower my tail!_

Toushiro rolled his eyes; he was just about fed up with Hyourinmaru's childishness. _That's enough by now, it happened almost three hours ago and you've been laughing non-stop since. Be quiet already, you're giving me a headache._

_ Give me two more minutes. Ppffftt, flower! And not just a flower, a little, rare, delicate, beautiful flower! Hahaha!_

_ Hyourin-_

_ Okay I'm done. _ The dragon was instantly serious.

Toushiro shook his head talk about bipolar. He peeped out from behind the flowery Taicho who had insisted that he remained hidden from sight for the time being. All the Taichos were yet again assembled in the meeting hall. Several of them looked none too pleased about the re-summoning. Kyoraku pushed the boy back behind him much to his displeasure.

"May I ask why we were called to _another_ meeting?" Soi-fon demanded, impatiently tapping her foot on the floor.

"Yes please, someone enlighten us, I was right in the middle of conducting a very important experiment." Mayuri, of course.

Yamamoto turned to Ukitake and Kyoraku, "Yes please why did the two of you request the audience of the rest of us?"

Ukitake scratched the back of his neck and turned to Kyoraku who just fiddled with his hat. Toushiro folded his arms across his chest, still not used to the gender swap. He let out a small squeak and blushed; secretly glad that the other captains could not see him.

"Well," Ukitake started, "We've that is, Shunsui and myself, have found the whereabouts of Kurotsuchi-Taicho's potion."

All the other captains murmured.

"Well that was quick," Zaraki noted, "Where? Who had it?"

"I applaud you on your quick find." Kurotsuchi said in obvious glee, "May I have it back now?"

Ukitake glanced at his best-friend who in turn shrugged.

"Okay, you can come out now Hitsugaya-kun."

The small Taicho stepped out from behind Kyoraku. He attempted to compose himself with his usual, nonchalant, no -nonsense personality, but for some reason he could not get it right. His palms felt sweaty and his stomach turned like a tsunami. Why was he so nervous? He knew all the other Taichos, he fraternised with them on a daily basis, and he knew deep dark secrets about each and every one of them. So why was he scared of their reactions? Enough of this foolishness, he told himself. He was a captain for crying out loud, he should not be scared of anything. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves he stood up straight in plain view of all of the other Taichos.

Each one of the Taichos excluding Kyoraku, Ukitake and Unohana looked shocked to put it mildly. Yamamoto had actually opened his eyes, Soi-fon had ditched her constant scowl in favour for a dropped jaw and raised eye brows, Byakuya did not look so bored with life any more, Komamura, well it was hard to decipher his expressions, Zaraki looked like he was about to burst out laughing and Mayuri looked pleased with himself. No one spoke for a full five minutes.

_Come on say something, anyone... _ Toushiro did not like the silence it made him feel more self conscious than he already was. He scratched the back of his foot with the other and tapped his finger tips on his hip.

_I expected a lot more... um, well more from their reactions. _ Hyourinmaru said. The dragon seemed as nervous as his wielder. His red eyes blinked slowly observing each one of the Taichos.

_I agree, this silence, it's like their plotting something against me._

_ Or they're just wondering why you had your gender changed, if anything it does look slightly... suspicious. I'm guessing that they think that you were somehow displeased with being a male and went through extreme lengths to get Kurotsuchi's potion. I have this feeling that a lot of embarrassment will be consequent. If they I ask, I suggest telling the truth... _

_...Thanks for the advice._ The small boy rolled his eyes at the dragon.

"Ah, so it worked," Kurotsuchi-Taicho said, his already creepy smile widening, "I wasn't too sure if I had gotten it correct, but I now can put any doubts to rest."

Yamamoto turned to Toushiro, "Explain yourself, Hitsugaya-Taicho."

Toushiro took a deep breath before speaking; he stood up a bit straighter, in effort to preserve any dignity he had left. The story he was about to relate was not the proudest moment of his life. "Yesterday, my lieutenant discovered two men, one from the 12th division and one of my own men with Kurotsuchi's potion. She confiscated it and brought it back to the office to find out what to do with it and both men." He paused to take a calming breath, what was coming next was like a serious blow to his self-esteem. "However, in the office she... tripped on the carpet ... andspiltthepotiononme, hence my state now."

"I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation..." Kyoraku mumbled.

The others were at a loss for words, each thinking the same thing: "I'm glad that wasn't me."

Yamamoto cleared his throat, "I have never come across a situation like this in all my time as Soutaicho."

Toushiro seemed to shrink; he wanted to do nothing more than disappear right now. The Soutaicho had basically said that he was disappointed in him.

_Now, now Toushiro, he didn't actually say that._

_ He might as well have. Something like this could only happen to me!_

_ Mmmm... you're probably right._

_ You weren't supposed to agree with me that time._

_ I didn't want to lie to you, Master._

Toushiro sighed, "I am sorry Soutaicho."

The old man shook his head, "There is no need to apologise, Hitsugaya-Taicho, it was an accident after all. Nothing anyone could have prevented."

_Is it just me or does Yama-jii look amused about something? _Hyourinmaru asked.

_ I think he's inwardly laughing at me, that's why he didn't bother set a punishment._

"Kurotsuchi-Taicho," Yamamoto continued, "Is this a temporary change?"

The mad scientist considered the question for a few nerve-wrecking minutes, on Toushiro's part. For the sake of his sanity it had better not be. He would not be able live with himself if he was a girl for the rest of his life. He shivered at the thought. He was male and that was how it was supposed to be. There was nothing more to it. There was supposed to be nothing more to it, however, the universe loved proving him wrong.

"It should be," Kurotsuchi answered thoughtfully, "none of my potions are permanent... yet, I plan to change that soon, however."

Toushiro breathed a sigh of relief, thank god. "How long will it last for?" He asked the scientist.

"That I am not entirely sure of, it could last from a couple hours to a few years."

"... A-a-a-a f-few years?" The boy felt like he was going to faint.

"Yes; 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes or 31,536,000 seconds whichever one you prefer."

Toushiro gulped, "A-are you sure?"

"Not entirely, I would like to conduct some tests to see the exact extent of the potion's effects... for future reference of course."

"Tests...?" Stay strong, Hitsugaya, he willed himself.

"Yes, the usual, blood tests, urine samples, physical examinations..."

"On me...?" He felt queasy all of a sudden.

"You do want to know how long you will be like this, don't you?"

He swallowed, tests with Kurotsuchi were very traumatising experiences, or so he had heard. The man showed no compassion to others; sticking needles in places they did not normally go, performing operations _without _anaesthetics, testing unknown chemicals on other shinigami. He may come off worse than he already was, if he agreed to let Mayuri perform the tests on him.

_Don't do it, Toushiro._ Hyourinmaru advised, _that madman is not one to play with. I prefer you being female than you coming back with an extra head._

_ He said this thing may last for a year Hyourinmaru, I can't be female for an entire year!_

_ Actually he said a few years, but please don't agree to be his guinea pig! This could kill the both of us._

_ Kurotsuchi has never killed anyone in his tests before..._

_ That's what he wants you to think._

"Hitsugaya-Taciho," Yamamoto boomed drawing him out of his thoughts, "This is a serious situation, will you consent to undergo kurotsuchi-Taicho's examinations?"

Toushiro weighed the pros and cons. The experiments could be painful and possibly dangerous, but Kurotsuchi could come up with a cure...

"Yes, I'll do it."

_WHAT?_

_ Can it, Hyourinmaru, it's for the better._

_ HOW CAN THIS BE FOR THE BETTER? YOU'RE LETTING THAT MADMAN EXPERIMENT ON YOU!_

"On one condition though, "He turned to Kurotsuchi, "You're not allowed to try anything funny. If I don't like what you're doing we're ending it right then and there."

The 12th division Taicho seemed disappointed. "Fine, very well then."

Unohana cleared her throat, "It's not that I do not trust Kurotsuchi-Taicho (A/N: no I'm pretty sure it's just that) but I would also like to be present for these _examinations_."

Kurotsuchi looked even more annoyed, "I prefer to carry out my experiments alone, Unohana- Taicho."

"For the sake of Hitsugaya-Taicho's health, I am well aware that you're division is not as well equipped as mine with medical supplies or aid."

_Thank god for Unohana-Taicho. Did I ever mention how much I love this woman?_

Toushiro, himself also felt relieved.

Yamamoto nodded, "Very well, Unohana-Taicho will assist you Kurotsuchi-Taicho in your examining of Hitsugaya-Taicho."

Kurotsuchi folded his arms across his chest and pouted like a little child upset about something. He did not object to the Soutaicho's orders though.

The old man turned to Toushiro, "Now, what do you intend to do for the time being, Hitsugaya-Taicho, about your appearance? It won't hinder your duties I hope?"

Toushiro shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I... well, of course it won't Soutaicho, but I request that this information about my... predicament will be kept a secret."

"Very well, no one outside of Taicho class is allowed to discuss this."

"And my lieutenant, sir."

"And Matsumoto-Fukutaicho, is that clear?"

There was a chorus of 'yes sir's around the room.

"But surely, people will notice that you look different, Hitsugaya-Taicho?" The question came from Byakuya.

Toushiro scratched the back of his neck, "I thought of that also, I think that it would be wise for me to...um take a false leave of absence for a while."

The black haired man nodded, "But you won't actually be going anywhere?"

_You could you know. You do deserve a vacation, Toushiro._

_ Ha, and leave Matsumoto in charge of my division? I don't think so._

"No," He paused what was coming next was going to be even more embarrassing; "Matsumoto-Fukutaicho suggested that I make up an alias for myself in this state."

"That was clever," Ukitake observed, "What did she come up with?"

Toushiro blushed, "She suggested that I pretend to be her... cousin recently discovered in Rukongai."

"And what about your appearance?" Soi-fon observed, "The hair is a dead giveaway."

"I intend to cover it though..."

Zaraki shook his head, "Even I can see that that's not gonna work."

"Believe me I know that it's full of gaping holes, if anyone else has a better plan I would go with it without a second thought."

No one could think of anything else. Toushiro felt his shoulders slump he had hoped that someone would have been able to come up with a plan b.

"Of course this means that you won't be able to wear you haori or carry around Hyourinmaru..." Komamura noted.

_But not to worry you don't have to carry around the sword for me to keep in contact with you, Toushiro!_

_ ...That's what I was afraid of._

_ Sniff, that was mean, what did I ever do to deserve such treatment?_

_ I asked myself that same question, Hyourinmaru, every day since the day I meant you._

It was Yamamoto who asked the most dreaded question though, "What will the name of your new persona be?"

An aggressive blush spread across Toushiro's cheeks he lowered his face to his chest. Curse _both _Hyourinmaru and Matsumoto.

_Come on master, you can say it._

_ ..._

_ It's not that difficult. Here I'll say it with you: Kaida. No, you have to speak too. Now slowly, Kai-da._

Gritting his teeth and steeling his mind for what was to come next he repeated after his inner spirit.

"...Kaida Matsumoto."

("\(^.^)/")

Red, orange and brown leaves spiralled slowly to the ground below, gentle breezes plucking them from their perches on knarred trees. The world looked like it was lit with a placid, orange blaze. Cool winds blew; throwing up fallen leaves like tiny tornadoes of confetti. The air smelt clean and crisp, invigorating yet calming. The scent of damp earth mixed with the smell of trees (A/N: trees actually do have a scent it's like woody, kind of sweet but not like sugar or anything... it's hard to explain ignore my rambling)and freshly cut grass.

A small white haired child looked serenely at the landscape. A small smile plastered across her face. Autumn was always a pleasant time of year; it was not too hot to cause discomfort or too cold for people to complain and watching the trees change colour was always enjoyable. That day was especially tantalizing. It somehow seemed more magnificent, more grand, more exciting. _She_ was not sure why, but _she_ knew that something wonderful was going to happen today. That feeling caused butterflies to dance around in _her_ stomach, _she_ suppressed a small giggle but could not stop it from spreading to_ her_ face. It was a happy feeling, a happy day.

"It's a perfect day for a wedding, ne Kaida?"

The white-haired _girl_ spun around to see a striking blond woman with pale blue eyes dressed in an off-white kimono with a pink sakura design. Her hair was done up elegantly in tiny curls, decorated with small white flowers. She looked like she was about to attend some formal ceremony like, well, a wedding.

"Matsumoto...?" The white haired _girl_ looked at the blond woman questioningly.

"So, how are you feeling, Kaida? Scared, nervous, anxious, excited?"

A white eyebrow was raised, "... No none of those actually, I just feel... happy for some strange reason..."

Matsumoto clasped her hands together and swayed on the spot a grin spreading across her painted red lips, "I'm so glad for you!" She squealed in delight.

Okay, something fishy was going on here, why was Matsumoto acting so odd and why was she all dressed up like that?

"What are you talking about?"

The woman smiled at the smaller knowingly and she promptly plopped herself down to sit next to _her_. "Don't act like you don't know."

"No, I'm serious, why are you acting so weird and why are you all dressed up like that?"

Rangiku leaned back a bit and observed the _girl_ with a raised, perfectly shaped eyebrow, "Don't tell me you've forgotten what today is. Everyone's only been preparing this for like four months now."

_She_ shook _her_ head slowly, "Just tell me what's going on."

Matsumoto sighed, "Silly Kaida, today's your wedding."

Teal eyes widened, Wed-what?

"You're getting married today. Don't act like you're surprised."

Wait, what? Married? When? How? Why? To _whom_? The little _girl_ had completely frozen in shock. What the hell was going on? Suddenly the magnificent day did not seem so magnificent. _She_ felt dizzy and the ground swayed beneath _her_. When did all of this happen? Had _she _been asleep for most of _her_ life?

Matsumoto stood up and gently pulled _her _to _her_ feet. "Come on, we need to get you ready for this afternoon. The bride can't be late for her own wedding now can she? I can't wait to see you in that kimono; you're going to look so beautiful!"

Getting ready was a daze. A flash of colours, fabric, makeup and jewellery was all that _she _saw. In no time at all _she_ found herself in an immaculate shiromuku, _her_ face and hands painted white and a white hood , a watabōshi, over her head; the attire of the traditional Japanese bride. What the hell? When did this all happen? What was going on? _She_ did not even remember dating anyone much less agreeing to getting married. _Her _head spun, what was going on? What was going on? What was going on?

Rangiku held _her_ elbow and slowly guided her along a narrow paved path bordered by a row of fiery red trees on either side. She just noticed that not only the buxom blond Lieutenant was with her but several other women dressed in formal kimonos. When did they arrive? Soon the group reached a small Shinto shrine. Did The Seireitei always have one of those? Many more people were already there and looked on expectantly as _she_ arrived._ Her_ insides cramped painfully and _her_ throat went dry. All of these people were expecting a wedding, a wedding that the bride herself did not even know about! _Her_ eyes scanned the crowd, all the other Taichos were there and the Fukutaichos also, in fact majority of the crowd were Shinigamis. _Her_ stomach relocated itself somewhere near _her_ knees. Seriously what the hell was going on? Surely _she_ would not forget something as important as a wedding, how was it possible for _her_ not to remember that _she_ had pledged her life eternally to someone else? _She_ was not ready for marriage, not even close. Yet here _she_ was literally two steps away from getting joined in matrimony.

There were collective gasps from the audience as they reached the shrine. Teal eyes scanned the crowd suspiciously looking for any hints that this was all some big joke. There were smiles, grins, frowns, tears, but no inclination that this was supposed to be the prank of the century. _She_ gulped, no this had to be some joke, it had to be some sort of prank, it just had to be. There was no way that _she_ would be willingly getting married to some guy _she_ did not know or remember. There was no sign of the groom. That was proof enough; this was all a farce.

"Kaida..."

_She _spun at _her_ name. Glancing behind _her_, _she_ saw the groom. What the hell? No, no, no, no, no, no and no! This was not happening it could not be happening!

"... You look beautiful." He continued.

_She_ felt all the blood drain from _her_ face. Next to _her_ stood someone _she_ had never dreamed of marrying not even in a million years, ever. He stood around nine feet tall, an anthropomorphic canine, dressed in a formal black kimono and haori. Large furry hands fidgeted with his sleeves as _she_ stared unbelieving down the nervously grinning snout of _Komamura-Taicho_.

All of a sudden everything around _her_ faded into a mushy grey, _she_ was actually glad that _she_ had fainted...

The same white-haired _girl_ sat on a wooden chair leaning over a small table. A cup of green tea was clutched between both of _her_ small hands.

What? When did _she_ get there? _She_ raised her head and looked around. _She_ was in a kitchen that was for sure. A small, clean kitchen. A pot of vegetables was boiling on the stove, a few pieces of steamed fish were already set in a dish and a couple leftover pieces of tamagoyaki were still on the table. There were dirty bowls and plates in the sink so _she_ assumed that breakfast was done and over with. Judging by the coolness of the cup of tea in _her_ hands _she_ had been sitting there for a long time. But who had eaten and more importantly what was _she_ doing here? Confusion spread across _her_ face, this was getting too weird. Had _she_ blacked out again?

_She_ sighed and was about to get up when a small child came bounding into the room.

"Mommy!" He called out and dove straight into _her_ lap. Involuntarily _her_ hands went around his shoulders.

Mommy? The hell is going on here? _She_ glared at the little boy now on _her_ lap, hugging _her_ tightly. He had bushy white hair and large teal eyes. But what was odd was that he had a pair of white dog ears sticking out from under his hair and a bushy white tail.

No way. _She_ shook her head and was about to push the child of _her_ lap when a low rumbling voice spoke from the door way.

"Not too tight, son, you'll hurt the baby."

_She_ jumped at the sound of Komamura's voice and watched as the boy pouted but got off _her_ lap and ran to the large, dog-man's side.

Wait, baby? What baby? ...Oh no. Oh hell no. NO! Slowly _she_ looked down at _her_ own body noting with a jolt, _her_ stomach. It was swollen, bulgy, big, protruding; like _she_ had swallowed ten water melons whole and they had somehow managed to fuse together inside of _her_ stomach. P-p-pregnant? _She_ glanced at the large man standing in the door way and the small dog-like child. They both smiled fondly back at _her_. _Her_ throat had gone bone dry and _her_ heart beat like a man playing drums. _She_ felt panic rise in _her_ chest and _she_ opened _her_ mouth to scream. Someone let me out of this madness!

("\(^.^)/")

"Gahh!" Toushiro sprang upright in bed panting heavily like he had just finished battling a plethora of hollows.

His futon was soaking wet, and his sheets were twisted, tangled up with his limbs. The room was coated lightly in a layer of frost. His breath was visible in small puffs of condensation in front of his face. He was trembling.

What. The. Hell.

He drew his knees up to his chest and folded his arms around them, resting his forehead on them. He silently waited for his body to calm down.

_Toushiro! _Hyourinmaru's panicked voice called out to him. _What happened? Your reiatsu is leaking, what's going on?_

_ I – I – I_, the boy let his mind open to allow his inner spirit to see the dream, no nightmare, which he had just witnessed.

_Wow. _Was all the dragon had to say.

_Go ahead laugh. I can see you want to..._

Hyourinmaru sighed, _No. That wasn't the least bit funny, if anything it was rather unnerving. Child, is being female bothering you this much?_

_ ..._

_ You're going to change back soon enough. Something like that will never happen._

_ I know, but... dreams usually mean something don't they? What if this is a sign or something?_

_ That you are going to get married to Komamura and he's going to impregnate you? I don't think so. You're thinking too much, child._

_ But..._

_ If it's one thing I know, child you dream when you are disquieted. Like when I was trying to contact you oh so long ago. Calm yourself this is bad for the both of us._

_ Easy for you to say, you're not the one who was changed into a girl._

Toushiro found himself being drawn into his inner world by the dragon. He sat curled up in the middle of the field of ice. Hyourinmaru came up to him and pressed the tip of his large snout to the boy's forehead. Toushiro stared down the colossal dragon's muzzle into his deep red eyes. Chilly puffs of white smoke from the dragon's nose enveloped him.

_That's enough of this, child. _His voice echoed around the field. At times he could be so immature and infuriating but at others he was the great, majestic dragon he was supposed to be. _You are in this state now, yes; there is nothing you can do about it for the time being. However, you will be back to normal eventually. Do not let it disturb you this much._

_ Hyourinmaru..._

_ I know child. Now go back to sleep. You look like shit._

_ ...Gee thanks a lot._

The familiar, yet oddly comforting, rumbling laugh resounded around Toushiro's inner world, echoing off every piece of ice.

_Your welcome, master._

Toushiro slowly lowered himself back into the futon and closed his eyes, but before sleep was able to claim him again he sprang back up. His eyes impossibly wide, a horrible thought had just crossed his mind.

_Wait! Does this mean I'm ... gay?_

Hyourinmaru gagged in surprise at the sudden question, _Of course not, child! Where does that even come from!_

_ I was just-_

_ Thinking. You're doing too much of that at the moment. _He sighed, _Just go back to sleep. It'll be better in the morning._

_ Okay, thanks Hyourinmaru._

The dragon shook his great head, smiling (A/N: can dragons even smile?) before curling up into a ball and drifting off to sleep himself. His master was such a curious, yet amusing little boy, but he would not have it any other way.

* * *

**I would appreciate your opinions on this -_-' **

**sorry for the insanity, blame final exams (too much pressure, I've finally cracked!) **

**that dream sequence kept on playing itself in my head so now I've got it on paper! well not on paper exactly, on electronic paper, but close enough**

**the floor is still open to any suggestions, what do you like, what do you hate? **

**to leave a response call the number on this screen. that's 1-800- clickthereviewbutton ! call today!**

**-Mymomomo**


	5. Matsumoto's giant bag of doom

**Wow chapter 5 can you believe it already? I'm so proud of myself!**

**thanks again to all you readers who were kind enough to review and suggest ideas for this story... trust me they will be put to good use xD.**

**The story is under the line...**

* * *

The sound of something very heavy being dragged across the floor caused Toushiro to bolt upright in his bed. He growled, it was too early in the morning for this. It was not even six o'clock yet. Who was up making such noise?

His door slid open and what he saw caused him to bury his face in his palms. Of course it would be _her_.

"Good morning, Taicho!" His blond, busty lieutenant sang as she opened the door.

"What the hell Matsumoto? It isn't even six o'clock yet, what on earth are you doing?" He rubbed his eyes trying to focus on his lieutenant. He had only fallen asleep like what, two hours ago? Needless to say he was tired. And a tired Toushiro is a pissed off Toushiro. You do not mess with a pissed off Toushiro, except of course if you are Matsumoto. Which she was, hence the wakeup call at five thirty am.

Hyourinmaru was not too pleased either. He grumbled something about going to hibernate, before shutting himself off from Toushiro's consciousness. There is a saying that goes let sleeping dogs lie, well the same applies to dragons: don't ever wake them up. Ever. Unless you're looking for a premature death, then go ahead by all means.

Matsumoto let herself into the room and shut the door behind her. She pulled in a rather large crocus bag after her, shoulders slumping in effort. So that's what had been making all that noise.

"I repeat what the hell, Matsumoto?"

She scratched the back of her neck, "I was doing some work..."

Toushiro did a double take. He blinked a couple of times not believing what he had just heard, "I don't think I'm fully awake yet, come back at a more reasonable hour."

Seriously, the woman did not wake up until around twelve o'clock in the afternoon, and that was on a good day. So what the hell was she doing in his room at this ungodly hour? He shook his head stifling a yawn and was about to lie back down to go to sleep when his sheets were roughly tugged away from him.

"Matsumoto!"

"I'm sorry Taicho but right now this is more important than sleep."

He growled, "What could be more important than my personal health?"

"Your disguise."

He stared at her for a full minute or so before rolling over and closing his eyes. Ah, sleep. It was the chicken soup for the tired, disturbed soul.

"Taicho!"

"It is too early in the morning for this Matsumoto."

"But that's precisely why we have to do it now."

"I. Don't. Care. I. Need. To. Sleep. Now."

He heard her sigh then sit down next to his futon. Was she really going to wait until he got up again? In his room? Alone? Unguarded? Once again, the universe was out to get him. He sighed and sat up. There was no way he could sleep knowing that Matsumoto could do god alone knows what to him in this state.

"Fine Matsumoto, what do you want?" He rubbed his forehead, and sat cross-legged on his futon, facing her.

"Wow. Taicho, did you get any sleep at all last night?" She said as if only just noticing his state. "You look terrible."

He glared at her his lips not moving but his eyes sent the message you're-the-one-who-woke-me-up-and-it-had-better-be-for-a-good-reason-or-I'm-gonna-freeze-your-ass-off.

"Anyway, I figured that we should do this before anyone else wakes up. Your disguise is in the bag; well fix you up in my room."

"Why can't we do this in my room?" He asked not wanting to part with his bed just yet. It was still five thirty goddamnit!

She sighed, "How would it look if a girl wondered out of Hitsugaya-Taicho's personal quarters early in the morning?"

"..." he could only imagine the comment Hyourinmaru would have made to that if he was not 'hibernating' at the moment

"...Unless you want people to think-"

"No! That incident in the office yesterday was bad enough. I don't need any more of those. Let's go."

A few seconds and shunpos (and curses) later he was sitting in Matsumoto's bedroom, trying not to fall back asleep as she went through the gigantically enormous crocus bag containing his 'disguise'. Did he really need all of that stuff? But then again this was Matsumoto he was talking about. He shivered, yes he had agreed to a disguise but if she pulled out any makeup... well that was a different story. He was a girl, yes, but that did not call for him to act like one.

"Okay Taicho, you have a choice of either changing your hair colour, your eye colour, or both!"

He gulped, "How about none."

She shook her head, "We can't have anybody discovering you secret, Taicho."

"Are you really interested in keeping my identity a secret or do you just want to play dress up with me?"

_It's just the dress up we both know that._

The blond woman scowled, "At least I don't have the camera."

"You damn well better not have the camera!"

She sighed, a spark of annoyance flying to her eyes. "Fine, Taicho, go through the bag yourself, choose what you want. I'm going to take a shower."

He raised an eyebrow, had he offended her somehow? "Why the sudden urge?"

"You obviously don't want my help in this matter. But just remember you are pretending to be _my _cousin so I _will _have the final say in what you choose."

_Is that a threat?_

_I think it is Hyourinmaru. That woman, there's no winning with her!_

The dragon chuckled; _I can't wait until you start dating, then._

Toushiro blushed and went over to the huge sack that Matsumoto had gotten for him as the blond woman left the room. Did he really need all of that stuff. Okay, so he wasn't originally female, he did not know exactly how they worked, but surely this was just too much. Right?

He peered into the bag. Wow, that was a lot of... stuff. There was no way that he was going to go through all of that. So, being the child genius he was he upended the bag letting the contents spill out over the floor.

_Okay, so we've got hairbrushes, perfume, jewellery, hair clips, a... wig, a katana, and... what the hell are those?_

_I really don't know, master, some feminine... contraption I believe._

_I don't think I really want to know anyway. _ He shook his head then stooped down to examine the 'items' more closely.

His eyes scanned the messy pile for anything that would hide his appearance but not totally kill his masculinity. There was a lot of pink he noticed. What did he ever do to deserve this? It was just too much first he was a girl but now he had to dress like one? What was the world coming to?

_Um, Toushiro, the last time I checked girls dressed like... girls._

_I was trying to make a point on how much the universe hates me._

_Oh, then I kind of ruined that for you didn't I? _

_Yes you did._

_Oh, I'm sor- ooooh look! Shades!_

Shaking his head he spied the facial wear that his dragon had so overtly pointed out. He picked them up holding them between his index finger and thumb as if they were a dirty baby's diaper. They were a simple pair of black, bug-eyed shades... with rhinestones.

_Yea-no. Not in a million years! I don't even know what the hell Matsumoto was thinking!_

_They'll cover your eyes..._

_And my whole face at that, and most likely prevent me from seeing anything anyway. I mean, who even wears shades inside?_

_... Iba._

_Well that's just fine and dandy for him. Ugh, what else did she buy?_

There was hardly one article of clothing that did not look obscenely feminine.

_What about that...? _Hyourinmaru suggested.

_Ew, no it has frills._

_What about this one?_

_Are you colour blind? It's pink. Enough said._

_And that over there?_

_You've got to be kidding me, I can only imagine _Yachiru_ wearing something like that._

The dragon sighed heavily, _Geez who knew that you were already so in touch with your feminine side? I could have sworn you were going to say something like no way, that clashes with my hair!_

_It's not my fault, I don't think that pink is my colour..._

_...Listen to yourself, Hitsugaya._

_Augh, this is all Matsumoto's fault! I should not even be going through clothes in the first place!_

_It can't be helped now. Look, just choose something before we go crazy._

The boy sighed and inspected the pile again. There was no way in hell he was going to wear any of this. Wait, he fingered the edge of a deep indigo cloth. That did not seem too bad; he pulled it out from under a box of he-did-not-even-know-what, and held it up for a closer inspection.

_Can you spell picky?_

_Shut up. I just don't want to look stupid._

_T-o-u-s-h-i_

_Shut up._

It was a scarf not too unlike the one Matsumoto always wore. He could use this to cover his hair.

_That will work until someone pulls it off, or it slips. Then this disguise will be all for naught._

_I am not wearing that wig, Hyourinmaru, if that is what you are insinuating. Damn them all if they figure out who I really am._

_You won't be talking like that if they do._

He sighed, now completely overwhelmed by the choice of clothing and accessories in front of him. How did women deal with stuff like this on a daily basis? He regretted angering Matsumoto. She may have chosen something unreservedly girly for him to wear but at least he would have had _something_ to start with. Now he was just running on air. He looked back down at the chaos at his feet. This was so stupid. Here he was a Taicho of the Gotei 13 worrying about what clothes to wear. He should be worrying about important stuff like paperwork or hollows not finding something that would not make him look completely foolish.

He was about to give up and storm out of the room to go back to sleep and forget about this whole ordeal when Matsumoto decided to re-enter. She was drying her wet hair with a towel, and was thankfully already dressed in her full shinigami uniform. She grinned at the scarf that Toushiro was holding in his hands.

"I knew you would like that one Taicho."

He blushed, "I don't like it. I was just looking for something that wasn't pink."

"Sure. So what else did you decide on?"

He shrugged.

She sighed and went over to the pile of... things on the floor. She sat down next to it and examined it for a short while.

"Well nothing else is really needed. You'll already be wearing your uniform so all we needed was something to cover your hair or eyes..."

He felt a vein twitch in forehead, "So what is the need for all of this junk?"

"Variety is the spice of life. And you don't want to be wearing the same accessories over and over again."

"You wear the same scarf every day." He pointed out, ticked off that he did not realise that he would be wearing his uniform in the first place.

_Admit it; you just wanted to dress up. _Hyourinmaru snickered.

_I liked you better when you were hibernating._

"I like this scarf. Anyway I thought of some things in the shower, since you don't want to change your hair colour-"

"How would we even do that in the first place?"

"Dye or a wig."

"There's no way in hell."

"I thought so. So we'll just have to change your eye colour."

"How?"

She rolled her eyes, "Do I have to spell out everything for you, Taicho? We'll use contacts, duh!"

"Contacts?"

"They're pieces of plastic you put into your eyes, usually in place of glasses, but some people use them to change their eye colour. I found out about them when we went to the world of the living."

"I see."

"Great. Now let's get your story straight. You're my distant cousin Kaida, whom I've recently found in Rukongai district 12."

"District 12 got it. How did you 'discover' me? Shouldn't I have gone to the academy, since I'm a shinigami already?"

"Hmmm, you've got a point there Taicho, okay, you're originally from district 12 but joined the academy years back..."

"I graduated early not with any class, which is why none of those recently graduated would know me, and because of our shared a last name I was referred to you, Matsumoto."

"And I took you under my wing because we were obviously related! So nobody will be suspicious if you are always in the Taicho's office because you will be with me, since we're related and all. Taicho, you're really good at this. Who knew you could make up such convincing stories."

He rolled his eyes, "I just don't want this already lousy plan to fall through sooner than it has to."

She smiled, "I already took the liberty of getting you a katana from the academy. You don't have to use it. It's just for show."

"I know that. Please, like I'd use any other sword than Hyourinmaru."

_How-_

_Not a word out of you._

_Fine, fine._

The blond lieutenant put a finger to her lips, "Is there anything else we're forgetting? We've got a disguise, a back story, name, and katana; yep I think that's all."

"I think so too."

"Wonderful!" She clapped her hands together and a wide smile spread across her face, "Now we can start getting you ready!"

He sighed, well, it was inevitable after all. "Just don't go overboard Matsumoto."

In all it took her almost two hours for her to finish and approve of his appearance. Putting together his disguise was the hard part, but now the storm was over, so to speak. However, the tail winds were still strong.

"You didn't tell me that these things itch so badly!"

"Don't rub them so much; look your eyes are already red."

"That's because you poked me while trying to put them in!"

"I told you not to move around so much."

"Sorry it's hard not to flinch when somebody is coming at you trying to stick something in your eye!"

Matsumoto shook her head in exasperation, "I gave you a choice between hair or eyes and you chose eyes so deal with it. Beauty is pain you know."

Toushiro growled. This sucked. He now hated being female more than anything. And that was saying a lot, since he hated many things. Matsumoto grabbed him gently by the shoulders and turned him to face a full length mirror.

"So what do you think?"

He glared at his reflection. He had not looked in a mirror since before his transformation what he saw was shocking. Glowering back at him was a girl about ten years of age. She was small and slender but with a developing figure (much to his chagrin). She had delicate features; a pair of pouty lips and huge pale blue eyes (thanks to the wonders of coloured contacts) fringed by long dark eye lashes. Her hair was pulled back under an indigo scarf, which was tied around her head like an Arabian headdress hiding it from view. A katana with a deep green hilt and a plain oval cross guard was tucked into her obi. Toushiro felt a blush rise to his cheeks; the girl actually was fairly pretty. If he did not know any better he would not have recognised her at all. This disguise might actually work.

Wait, hold up. Did he really think of _himself _as being pretty? No, don't even go there Hitsugaya, he ordered himself. Leave something like that for Matsumoto to say. He was a man and he was not _pretty_.

_Well, __**I**__, think you look pretty. _Toushiro scowled and cursed his inner spirit. _Relax, child, it's a compliment. At least now you know you look good as both male and female._

He rolled his eyes, "It's not too bad, I guess."

Matsumoto smiled, "Well if anything, I don't think that anyone would guess it's really you, Taicho, simply because you're female, but I must say that that eye colour goes well with you."

"It's your eye colour..."

"I know! That's what's so great about it! Now people will definitely believe that we are at least distantly related."

He sighed, "I don't think it works like that, but I do agree that no one would ever guess that this really is me."

* * *

**So... this is basically just a filler chapter the real plot with all the drama and awkwardness will be coming in the next chapter**

**hehe... the floor is still open for all suggestions**

**You know the drill. You like it, you hate it, you review it.**

**-Mymomomo**


	6. The potion for love

**Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddddddd here's chapter 6! ****this one gave me a bit of trouble to write.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and the suggestions they were put to good use xD**

**Disclaimer: Yeah i'm actually Kubo Tite in disguise, that's why I'm on writing this story...**

**On with the torture ahem I mean story...**

* * *

Toushiro stood outside of the entrance to the 12th division. A tepid wind blew; he could have sworn that he heard screams coming from inside the place. Really, the place did not look that intimidating, it looked like every other division big and white with yellow-orange tiled roofs. He gulped, it was not the appearance that was foreboding but rather what he knew went on in there or what was going to happen in there. His check up with Kurotsuchi that was what was really frightening. The sun glared down at him causing him to sweat under the purple head scarf. It was only then that he realised that he had been standing in front of the division gates for almost fifteen minutes. He took a deep breath. He could do this, he definitely could do this. He raised a foot and set it in front of the other. Yes! He could do this.

Five minutes later he was still in the same spot. Oh god, what did he get himself into this time? Did he really agree to be Kurotsuchi's test subject? He wiped his sweaty forehead, geez what was up with this sun? He shook his head and glanced back to the 12th division entrance, okay that was seriously a scream he had just heard now. He paled, this was madness, it was undeniably madness. It was too late to chicken out now, though. He had told Kurotsuchi that he would be there and be there he would. Now if he could just get his body to cooperate... come on feet move! His own body was rebelling against him; it was like he had just decided to grow roots. Maybe it was a form of self preservation, the things that Kurotsuchi was about to do to him... he shivered at the thought. Okay, enough of this he had wasted sufficient time standing in front of the gate. This was bordering on ridiculous now. Actually it had passed ridiculous a long time ago, right when he had turned female, now it was insanity.

He sighed and looked towards the entrance for the millionth time that day. He had to do what he had to do, and he had to do this. He did not want to remain a girl, right? No, that was a definite no. Did he really just ask himself such a stupid question? Of course he did not want to remain a girl. But still, the 12th was scary; there was no denying that much.

Great, now he had wasted even more time just trying to convince himself to move forward. Sweat started to drip down his back. His shoulders slumped as he wondered if he was even going to enter the 12th division that day. Kurotsuchi had arranged their appointment for today. He swallowed, the man was eager to experiment on him. Oh wow, another reason to turn back. But no, if he did he would stay a girl for maybe an entire year. He bit his lip.

_My god, go in if you're going already! Since when were you this indecisive Toushiro?_

The dragon had a point though. He had never been indecisive in his life. Whit a final shake of the head he raised one foot and put it through the 12th division gates.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho, were you waiting on me?"

He turned and saw Unohana come walking up to him.

He scratched the back of his neck, had she been watching him stand up there for how long? He had forgotten that she was going to supervise Kurotsuchi's experiments "...Yeah,"

The brown haired woman smiled as if knowing the truth; he had been scared, "Let's get going then."

The pair made their way to the office of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Several of the division members glanced at them oddly as they passed, wondering what business they had in the 12th. Toushiro was scared that they would see through his disguise; he practically froze every time someone stared at him too hard. However, only Unohana was addressed, he was otherwise ignored. He was thankful for that, though one or two of the men stared at him in a _particular_ way that he did not like. He cut them a sharp glance causing them to stumble and hurriedly proceed with what they were doing before deciding to ogle at him. Damned perverts.

("\(^.^)/")

"I was beginning to think that you had forgotten about our appointment Hitsugaya-Taciho." Kurotsuchi smiled wickedly from his seat in front of his computer-thing (A/N: I think it looks like some sort of mutant piano).

"No, I was... held up." The small boy replied shaking his head.

"Very well then, shall we proceed now that you are finally here?"

Toushiro gulped then nodded. Unohana also voiced her consent, though she did not look too pleased at the current situation.

Kurotsuchi clapped his hands once. "Nemu come here."

In an instant the lieutenant of the 12th division appeared at his side. Toushiro blinked; did that girl have some sort of sensor, radar perhaps? Whatever it was he needed to get one for Matsumoto. He inwardly smiled at the thought of her appearing at his side as soon as he called, no more searching through all of the bars in The Soul Society. He definitely needed to invest in one of those.

"Yes, Father?" The black-haired girl asked upon entering.

"Prepare examination room four."

"Yes, Father." She bowed and left.

Toushiro was in awe. Nemu was the lieutenant he had always dreamed of. She did what her Taicho wanted, when he wanted, no questions asked. If only Matsumoto would be like that, he sighed in pleasure at the thought. The paperwork would be finished on time, and he would not have to spend countless nights in the office trying to complete paperwork that _she_ was supposed to have done. He should ask Kurotsuchi how he got Nemu to do that. Maybe he could give him lessons; how to train your lieutenant 101.

He was so engrossed in his visions of a work oriented Matsumoto that he did not notice Nemu re-enter the room after around five minutes.

"Examination room four is prepared." She emotionlessly stated, "Is there anything else, Father?"

Kurotsuchi stood up motioning for the other two to follow him. "No." He simply stated as he passed his 'daughter' on the way out.

The examination room was oddly like a doctor's office with medical equipment, numerous file cabinets and cupboards, and an examination table. However this was no doctor's office. Toushiro knew that frightening experiments went on in this room, unauthorised experiments on members of Kurotsuchi's own division. There was that and the fact that everything in the room was stainless steel and the examination table had straps on it, presumably to hold down unwilling test subjects. The thought sent a shiver down his spine. That unwilling test subject was soon to be him. He swallowed jumping slightly when Unohana put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at her, she smiled gently back at him. Did he ever mention how glad he was that Unohana had decided to supervise Kurotsuchi? Especially after the heavy metal door had been locked closed with a resounding click, yes he was very glad indeed.

Mayuri rubbed his hands together in that mad-scientist kind of way grinning like a child on Christmas morning, a sick, demented child that is. "Shall we begin then?"

Toushiro nodded, "Do your worst... not literally though."

"Since you insist that I not use my preferred examination means, this will be like a normal check up." Kurotsuchi said rolling his eyes. Toushiro knew that his preferred means of examining him would require him being strapped to the table. "We will start with the blood sample, roll up your sleeve."

Toushiro complied, mildly shocked at the eccentric man's docile treatment. Unohana seemed pleased, that he had calmed down and proceeded to wonder around the room observing the countless 'medicines' the adorned the shelves. Mayuri busied himself in preparing the injection. He soon turned around holding an empty syringe the needle glinting in the fluorescent light. He roughly yanked the boy's forearm towards him and just barely wiping the area with an antiseptic wipe he jabbed the needle into his arm. Toushiro winced at the sudden prick and watched through the corner of his eyes as red liquid filled the small, clear plastic barrel. When it was full Kurotsuchi just as roughly pulled the needle out of his arm and at once made an exit.

"I'm going to run this into the computer." Was all he said as he left.

Toushiro rubbed the spot on his arm where he had been injected. He had not expected less from Kurotsuchi, in fact he was surprised that he had been that gentle with him. In less than three minutes the madman was back a sick smirk on his face, no wait that was his usual expression.

"The physical examination is next." He said, obviously not liking to explain himself.

Unohana's eyes snapped to the two.

The scientist rolled his eyes, "Don't worry I won't do anything that will hurt... much. I just need to take some measurements and see the extents of the potion."

Toushiro sighed, mentally reminding himself that Kurotsuchi might find a cure with all of these tests. It was for a good cause. Anything was better than being female, anything.

"Strip."

Except for that.

"E-excuse me?" He asked in shock, not liking one bit where this was going. There was no way that he was going to _expose_ himself to that madman.

"Well you can't expect me to examine you with your shihakusho still on now do you?" The man explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Unohana shook her head, "There are much politer ways of going about this Kurotsuchi-Taicho. You could have said 'I'll need you to remove your clothes Hitsugaya-Taicho' or 'please undress',"

"All of that is just a waste of breath." He snapped then turning to the small Taicho he folded his arms across his chest, "I'm waiting."

Toushiro paled unable to compute what he had just been ordered to do. As mentally disturbing as that sounded, the man wanted him naked. That's it he was out of there. There was no way that he would allow himself to be violated like that. He shook his head.

Mayuri sighed, "I can always use force, remember that Hitsugaya-Taicho."

"If you think that I am willingly going to undress for you to _examine _me then you've got some more thinking to do." His eyebrow was twitching rapidly.

"Don't be so immature. Like I would be interested in anything you, a little girl, have to offer, how little or next to non-existent it may be. This is strictly for scientific purposes."

A pulsing vein joined his twitching eyebrow. "Anything I have to offer? You make it seem like I _want_ you to see me naked!"

Unohana shook her head before deciding to intervene, "I knew it would end up like this. Can he wear a towel or something, Kurotsuchi-Taicho?"

The man seemed to consider it for a time, "I suppose so."

Toushiro sighed in relief, once again, thank god for Unohana.

Minutes later he stood in front of Kurotsuchi wearing nothing but a skimpy towel wrapped firmly around his torso. He tried not to concentrate on how uncomfortable this was. Still a light blush dusted his cheeks.

Kurotsuchi had ordered him to stand up straight as he moved about the boy with a tape measure. Toushiro felt like some sort of object the way the mad-scientist was going about the examination. He yanked and touched him like he was nothing more than an inanimate item. After each measurement he wrote a note on a clip board, mumbling the entire time about the unfairness of not being able to do a proper examination.

"Subject is 4.4" in height," He mumbled, "small for age group..."

Toushiro glared at the man daring him to take another shot at his size. Kurotsuchi did nothing but snatch his right arm and place the tap measure along it.

"Very thin, boarding on malnutrition,"

Toushiro gagged in indignation and tried to pull his arm back, but Mayuri had a vice-like grip.

"Very little body fat, high muscle percentage." He continued not paying attention to the examinee's reaction.

He then wrapped the measuring tape around the boy's waist then hips and with no hesitation or embarrassment at all around his bust. Toushiro flinched, a fiery red blush rising to his cheeks, his body went ridged. The man was touching him in places that he did not appreciate being touched, heck he did not even like touching himself in those places, much less for somebody else. Mayuri was going about it without a care in the world, like he did things like this every day. Well, he probably did, but he could at least pretend to be slightly self-conscious.

"Subject, appears of ectomorphic build, and boasts well developed muscles. Subject has not yet reached puberty, but appears to be at the early stages of adolescence. Secondary female characteristics are beginning to develop, hips, breasts etc."

Toushiro could have sworn that his face resembled a ripe tomato at that moment. Were those comments really necessary? He was already uncomfortable enough in his own body he did not need anyone else adding to it.

Kurotsuchi scribbled down some more notes before rolling up the tape measure. Toushiro breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are we done yet?" he asked hopefully.

Mayuri smiled scarily down at the small boy, "Not nearly."

Toushiro gulped, he did not like how that sounded. But the rest of the examination was fairly normal. Kurotsuchi checked his blood-pressure, his heart and breathing rate, his reflexes; he even looked into the boy's ears and examined his eyes (after removing the contacts and inspecting them for a good five minutes) and teeth. Toushiro sat on the edge of the steel table swinging his legs, while Kurotsuchi wrote some more notes on his clip board. The metal felt cold against his bear thighs. Unohana looked seemingly pleased that the mad-scientist had not tried anything funny. Kurotsuchi suddenly tossed a small container to the boy who caught it with ease and looked over to the man questioningly.

"Urine sample," He stated as if any idiot should have known that. "The bathroom is down the hall on your left."

Toushiro hesitated he was beginning to think that this examination was much more trouble than it was worth.

"Hurry up, we haven't got all day you know."

The boy sighed, "Can I have my clothes back, then?" He did not want to leave the room with only a thin towel on. Who knows what could happen to him.

"No. The examination is not finished yet."

"I'm not leaving this room without my clothes on." He scowled at the man.

"Very well you can always give the sample here."

Toushiro blushed again and within two shakes of a dog's tail he had left the room.

Unhonana shook her head, "Was that really necessary Kurotsuchi-Taicho?"

"No, but I felt inclined to do it anyway."

The boy returned to the room in a short while and handed the container to the 12th division Taicho.

"Is that all?" He asked again.

"Almost, I just need to process the results. That should take around ten minutes." He left the room again.

Toushiro sighed, this had better be worth it, or he was going to... do something that he would certainly regret later. He sat back on the table and rested his chin on his left palm; this was going to be a long ten minutes.

"Well, Hitsugaya-Taicho, it would seem that you are undeniably female." Kurotsuchi snickered as he came back in.

No really? He glared at the man.

"From the tests it can be concluded that my potion was one hundred percent successful. Would you like to hear the complete list of observations?"

He nodded it could not hurt to know exactly what position he was in.

"Very well, you now have the body of a prepubescent, physically fit girl. Your y chromosome has been effectively replaced with an x. However, the conditions are unstable."

Toushiro raised an eyebrow, "Meaning?"

"Meaning, that you still have both androgens and oestrogens in your body."

Toushiro looked blanked, "Which means?"

Mayuri sighed, "Which means that your body is fighting with itself on what gender it should be. At the moment the oestrogens, the female hormones, outweigh the androgens, the male hormones, hence you being female. But in due time I believe that since the female hormones are not native to your body, since you don't produce them, they will die out and you will return to being male, it should take about six to twelve weeks."

The boy breathed a sigh of relief, at least now it was definite that he would return to normal soon.

"But,"

He face palmed there just had to be a 'but'. There just _had_ to.

"But, for the time being I'm afraid that the female hormones are continuously progressing in strength and numbers. That means that there is a possibility that they could completely take over your body and you will permanently turn into a female."

He eyes widened, that was a very big but, "W-w-what? Can you stop that from happening?"

"Yes, I have engineered a serum to stop the hormones from spreading."

That was a close one. He was not too sure if his body could take any more shocks like that. "Can I have it?"

Mayuri nodded, "I will prepare the injection right away." He pulled out a clear vial containing a frothy light blue liquid from his coat. Turning around he opened a draw and began rummaging in it. Unhonana looked on suspiciously.

When the madman turned back around Toushiro almost fainted.

"The hell is that needle?" He yelled.

The man was holding a syringe with a needle that looked like it was designed to tranquilize a menos grande. He scrambled off the table ready to bolt from the room.

"Now, now Hitsugaya-Taicho, you don't want to remain a female now do you?" The crazy man's eyes were gleaming evilly and his smile caused Toushiro's stomach to turn.

"You're not touching me with that thing."

Mayuri eyed the needle that looked like it could impale the small Taicho then sighed, "Fine become a woman then." He was about to put it away.

Toushiro bit his lip unable to decide what to do. On one hand the injection was sure to hurt and he did not like the thought of a needle that size going in to him, it looked long enough to go in one side then out the other! On the other hand, there was the chance that he would remain a girl forever if he did not take it. Oh, to hell with it all. Why did the universe love to test him so?

He took a deep breath and held out his arm, "Fine, give me the shot."

Mayuri looked as though he had been expecting that. He grinned devilishly, "Wise choice. But this particular injection does not go in the arm."

"So where..."

"Nine ounces of this special serum are to be injected at the base of the spine."

Toushiro groaned. FML.

("\(^.^)/")

Toushiro lay face down on the couch in his office. His entire body felt like lead. The side effects of the serum Kurotsuchi had given him were nausea, and slight loss of coordination. He said that they would wear off in about three hours. Toushiro could barely walk in a straight line much less to do paperwork, hence his state on the couch. He closed his eyes maybe taking that injection had not been a good idea.

_So how are you feeling, Toushiro?_ Hyourinmaru asked.

_You are part of me; you know how I'm feeling._

_I warned you, didn't I?_

_Yeah, but now I know for sure that I won't remain a female. And everything went fine in the examination except for the last part._

_If you call that fine._

_It was better than I expected._

_It was all a blur to me... as soon as he took out the first injection I kinda ...blacked out._

So that was why the dragon had been so quiet during the check up. Toushiro shook his aching head, _Hyourinmaru, can you be quiet for a while; my head is pounding._

_Okay, but shouldn't you be in your room, you have a less chance of being disturbed there._

_No one is in the office._

Karma sucked, Toushiro was sure of that. As soon as he thought the words the office door burst open in a flurry of ginger and pink.

"Taicho! How did it go?" Matsumoto sang.

He growled, did she have to be so loud. "Not so loud Matsumoto." He moaned.

"Oh," She quietly closed the door then sat down next to him on the couch, "Was is that bad? She asked soothingly.

"Not so much bad, but the injection he gave me had a couple side effects. Nausea and the inability to walk in a straight line..."

She chuckled and patted him lightly on the back, "I'll get started on the paperwork then."

He raised his head off the couch and looked at her, "Are _you_ okay?"

She smiled, "Yeah I'm fine. The roles are reversed aren't they? Usually I'm the one on the couch with a hangover and you're the one doing the work." She sat in his desk and pulled the pile of paperwork, which had somehow magically manifested itself on his desk, towards her.

"I'm not hung-over," He mumbled lying back down on the couch.

"So, is this thing permanent or..."

He placed a hand on his forehead; the headache was getting worse by the second. "No thankfully, it will wear off in around nine to twelve weeks."

"Oh well that's good isn't it?"

"Yeah," He closed his eyes they had suddenly become heavy. Thankfully Matsumoto decided to be silent as she filled out the paperwork. Ever so slowly sleep claimed him; he yawned and subconsciously snuggled into the couch.

Suddenly the office door slid open, "Excuse me I'm looking for Hitsugaya-Taicho."

He bolted up right about to ask the new person what he needed but then he remembered who he was, or was supposed to be. The sudden change in position caused him to feel dizzy.

Matsumoto answered, "He's not here right now. What did you need him for?"

"Oh, um it's nothing really."

Toushiro rolled his eyes and glared at the boy. He seemed to be around fourteen or thirteen with brown hair that curled at the ends and hazel eyes. "If it's nothing then I'm sure you can leave a message." He snapped angry that his sleep had been disrupted _again_.

"No, it's just..." he trailed off turning towards Toushiro.

The small Taicho felt it before he saw it. There was a sudden bolt of electricity that ran up his spine. His nausea was forgotten momentarily. He stared at the boy becoming aware of just how he was looking at him. Great not _another_ one. The boy's eyes had glazed over and a light blush dusted his cheeks. His lips were slightly parted and his eyebrows were raised slightly. That reaction was somewhat odd, Toushiro thought, the way he was looking at him seemed different somehow.

_I smell loooooooove. _Hyourinmaru sang.

_What are you talking about? _Toushiro demanded of his dragon.

_Just look at the way he's looking at you, it's like he was struck by lightning and heard wedding bells ringing. If that doesn't spell love at first sight then what does?_

_You're kidding me right? There's no way, I'm a guy remember!_

_But he doesn't know that._

Toushiro gulped and regarded the brown haired boy in the door way. "W-what did you need?" he repeated his throat going dry.

The boy snapped out of his trance, "Oh, um, nothing it was just... well a group of my friends and I well, we just wanted the Taicho's opinion on something."

"I see."

Matsumoto smiled well aware of what exactly was going on, "I'll be sure to pass on the message when the Taicho gets back. What's your name by the way?"

"Takahashi Yuichi, unseated officer." The boy replied bowing.

"I'll remember that," She said smiling.

"Thank you lieutenant Matsumoto." He turned back to Toushiro on the couch who mentally cursed his situation for the billionth time that day. "What's your name if you don't mind me asking? I don't recall seeing you around here before." He asked blushing again. Geez this person was worse than Hanataro. Well, no not really.

Toushiro ground his teeth together, "Kaida Matsumoto, the lieutenant's cousin. Unseated officer, like yourself, I'm new." He recited through clenched jaw.

"But graduation doesn't take place until two months from now," The boy looked confused.

Toushiro rolled his eyes; his headache coming back with full force, the boy should just leave him alone, "I'm aware. They make exceptions in rare cases."

He grinned nervously, "So you're like a prodigy?"

If he only knew the half of it, "Something like that."

"So," he scratched the back of his neck, "Since you're new to the division and all would you like me to show you around?"

Toushiro raised an eyebrow looking at the boy his vision starting to swim.

"She'd love to!" Matsumoto exclaimed before he had the chance to even compute what the boy had said.

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow then." He grinned awkwardly before leaving the office.

Toushiro turned to his lieutenant, he would have shouted but unfortunately for him, fortunately for her, he was still experiencing the after effects of Kurotsuchi's injection. "Was that really necessary Matsumoto?"

"You may as well try to make friends Taicho."

"I do not need friends... especially not the type of friend he is interested in."

"So what he has a crush on you, big deal."

"Matsumoto, he's a guy, I'm a guy, need I go on?"

"I think it's cute."

He sighed, "Of course you would think so."

He stood up but had to hold onto the back rest to keep from falling over. Nausea and clumsiness do not mix well. "I'm going to my quarters. Here is too noisy."

He stumbled out of the office tripping over his own feet. Oh yes the world was out to get him. Now that was another thing he could add on to his list of bad things that had happened to him in the past two days. Another guy had a crush on him. A guy who thought he was a girl. A guy from his own division much less. He groaned, one more problem to deal with, not only did he have to worry about being female or having his true identity discovered, but now he had to get rid of some love sick subordinate. He missed the old days, when he was male, and when his male subordinates did not develop crushes on him. He shivered that was just wrong on so many levels. He was not gay and neither was Yuichi, he was in love with _Kaida_ after all. The most logical answer would be to just get rid of Yuichi. But no he couldn't kill one of his subordinates, a division transfer maybe? That was too cruel wasn't it; the boy had done nothing that wrong to warrant such punishment. So how could he get rid of him? Maybe he would give up if Kaida was just not interested, or if she was an obnoxious brat. He smirked, now that was a plan he could put into action.

His mental celebration was cut short though when he tripped over his own feet and almost crashed into the wall. Damn that injection. He hurriedly glanced around, nobody saw that right? Good no one was in sight. But maybe he should pay more attention to his semi-unresponsive feet. Yeah that would probably be a good idea.

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot... oh what fun. Right foot, left foot, left foot... wait what? All of a sudden he lost his balance and fell to the floor. There was a sharp pain in one of his left feet. Yes one of his left feet meaning he had two of them... but wait one of them seemed to be connected to another person. Oh shit. So that was why it was so hard to breath at the moment.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I..."

Toushiro would have slapped his forehead but instead opted to close his eyes for a few seconds. Deep even breaths, Hitsugaya he ordered himself, deep even breaths.

"That's okay I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, it was my fault." He answered.

"...Kaida?"

He looked up at the person who had knocked him down. Yep the world definitely had it in for him. Yuichi stared at him his face as red as a beet root.

"I'm so sorry."

He groaned. He was just thinking of how to get rid of the boy and here he was literally on top of him.

_Okay fine a take it back, I won't try to get rid of him._

_Even if you did try,_ Hyourinmaru noted, _I think he would just come back, the boy seemed persistent. Ah, the wonders of young love._

_Unrequited love._

He glared at the brown haired boy, "What are you some kind of stalker?"

He looked shocked, "I um... no I was just heading this way. I'm sorry."

Toushiro sighed, "You can stop apologizing, I already told you it was my fault; I was the one who should have been paying attention."

"Yeah but I knocked you down."

"Look do you want to start something Takahashi? I said it was _my_ fault."

He raised his arms defensively, "Okay it was your fault then. Um, don't you think we should get up from off the ground now?"

The boy stood up and brushed himself off before offering a hand to help Toushiro up. He pointedly ignored it and pushed himself to his feet, only to come crashing back down again before he actually got up. That was when he noticed the sharp pain in his ankle that he should have noticed when he fell. Talk about bad karma.

He let loose a stream of profanities in his mind as he assessed the situation.

_Oh, wow where did you learn those words?_

"Kaida, aren't you gonna get up?"

He glared at the boy, "No I just decided that the floor was comfortable, I think I'll sit here for a little longer."

You could actually hear the wind whistle as the sarcasm passed over his head. Yuichi was obviously not the brightest crayon in the box. Toushiro buried his face in his palms.

"No, I can't really; it seems as if I have sprained my ankle."

This was the most cliché of clichéd situations in the history of clichés. The story went something like this: boy meets girl in passing, time passes, boy meets girl again in weird situation, girl gets hurt, boy carries girl to get help, they fall in love, they get married and have seven kids, they begin to hate each other, they get a divorce and split the house, land and kids between them, they both die at eighty. Well, maybe not all that but it was clear to see where this was going and Toushiro was determined to stop any of that from happening.

_Don't even think about using healing kido, master._ Hyourinmaru warned.

_And why not? I doubt that he knows any._

_Think about it would Kaida, an unseated Shinigami, not a member of squad four, know any healing kido? Remember you're not Hitsugaya-Taicho at the moment._

_Did you hear that noise Hyourinmaru? That was the sound of the last of my dignity going out the window. Are you happy now?_

_Better your dignity than your disguise._

_Screw the disguise!-_

"I'm so sorry, I seriously didn't mean to run into you, this is my entire fault." Yuichi moaned.

"I told you to stop apologizing, goddamnit!" Toushiro basically yelled at the boy, "And if you really feel that bad about this then see if you can fix my leg."

"I-I-I-I- I don't know any healing kido, or at least I don't trust myself to use any..." He looked distraught now; maybe yelling at the poor boy was not such a good idea.

Toushiro sighed, "Okay don't worry Takahashi, that's not a problem, I'll just visit the fourth later. Just help me get back to the office; I'll have to talk to the lieutenant."

The boy seemed to brighten a bit, "Okay."

Since the height difference between them was too vast, Yuichi was almost two heads taller; he could not lean on him for support so the only other option was for Yuichi to carry him. He swallowed his pride and allowed the older boy to carry him bridal style back to the office. It was absolutely humiliating, apart from the fact that he, the Taicho of the 10th division had sprained his ankle in a fall and had to be carried by one of his subordinates, Yuichi's hand was tightly gripping his upper thigh.

Let's pause for a moment people and try to understand what was wrong here. 1) They were both straight guys. 2) Yuichi's hand was on Toushiro's thigh. 3)... Well there was no three but three seems like a nice round number, two is just incomplete. It goes without saying that Toushiro was as red as a cooked lobster. They could not reach the office fast enough, in his opinion. However, Yuichi seemed to think the exact opposite.

"Oh my god what happened?" Matsumoto squeaked as the odd pair entered the office, "Kaida you barely know the man! You leave for a few seconds and you come back in his arms! There is such a thing as tact young lady, tact."

Toushiro scowled at his lieutenant.

"Oh no, it isn't like that lieutenant Matsumoto," Yuichi stammered a bright red blush spreading across his face as he set Toushiro down on the couch. "Kaida sprained her ankle; I was just helping her to get back to the office."

"Well that was very kind of you Yuichi-kun." Matsumoto smiled, "But I can take care of it from here on out."

He nodded, "Well I'll see you tomorrow right, Kaida? I'll show you around the division."

When the boy left Toushiro let out a pained wail that was soft enough to be contained in the office. "This is so infuriating!"

"So what really happened between you and Yuichi-kun?"

"Can it Matsumoto. I'm not in the mood." He raised his arm already glowing with a healing kido and placed it on his ankle.

"But Taicho he's a really sweet boy, I can tell he knows how to treat a woman."

"Well, I'm sure that there are plenty _women_ that he can treat well."

"So do you actually plan on taking him up on that division tour coughdatecough tomorrow?"

"Why would I need a tour of my own division?"

"He'll be heartbroken if you decline, Taicho. You wouldn't do that to your poor subordinate would you?"

He sighed, flexing his newly healed leg, "I may decide to humour him. We'll see what tomorrow brings."

He actually felt good about saying that, but then again it might have been the potion speaking. He shook his head yep it was definitely the potion he was not gay. He never had been or ever would. He stood up straight, all nausea forgotten for the moment and faced Matsumoto.

"And to answer your question in advance, if I do decide to go with him, I'm not taking any pictures. And if you try to take any... hmm I've always wondered what it would be like to freeze someone's blood in their veins."

She swallowed, "Hai Taicho, what are these pictures you speak of? I don't even know what pictures are!"

He shook his head, "Just finish the paperwork Matsumoto, my head is still pounding."

* * *

**All opinions are welcome, I'm indiscriminate. **

**I was actually debating on who to make fall in love with Hitsu, I wanted to do a canon char but as you can see that did not work out too well. So introducing my oc Yuichi Takahashi... please don't kill him.**

**Any suggestions are once again welcome xD Hmmm... what will Shiro-chan do next?**

**Reviews are also encouraged in fact practically worshiped, so please help me in the founding of my new religion, thank you for your cooperation.**

**-Mymomomo**


	7. Perverts should come with warning signs

**Chapter seven woot xD**

**I think that this one is my favourite... so far**

**Thanks yet again to all you reviewers you know who you are ^^**

**Disclaimer: bleach is all MINE! I do the laundry in my house so bleh it's mine all mine!**

**You may now start reading the story... if you haven't done so already hehe **

* * *

Toushiro sat at his desk filling out form after form. He had been sitting there doing paperwork for the better part of the morning. Matsumoto was nowhere to be seen. Things seemed to be almost back to normal, well as normal as anything could be since the _incident_. His hand flew across the paper creating perfectly formed kanji symbols. It was actually a relief that he could still do something so ordinary, that his job was not hindered by his situation. Of course he had to hide whenever someone entered the room, but you couldn't have it all. He paused to dip his brush in the ink pot then went straight back to work. He had almost finished the stack on his desk, what an accomplishment. He grinned inwardly only ten more forms to go.

_So this is what you find fun?_ Hyourinmaru snickered rolling his eyes.

_I don't find this fun; it's just something I have to do. If I don't do it nobody will._

_You know if I didn't know you any better I would think that you were a little old man._

Toushiro sighed before picking up another form. Hold on; was the division expenditure rate really that high? They needed to cut back on something... wait a minute he was sure that he did not order an engraved deluxe manicure set or a silk evening gown. Matsumoto. He scowled, how many times did he have to tell the woman not to use the division budget for her personal purchases? He rubbed his temples. That woman...

_But admit it the division would be incredibly dull without her. And even if she doesn't show it most of the times she's a really good lieutenant._

The dragon had a point though. And ah, here she was with a cup of steaming, hot green tea.

"Good morning Taicho!" She chirped merrily upon entering. She set the mug of tea on his desk the flounced to her usual spot on the couch.

"It's barely morning." He murmured.

"It's not my fault that you wake up at the crack of dawn to come to work." She pouted, "But anyway it looks like you're almost done."

"No thanks to you."

She frowned then jumped off the couch and grabbed the remaining nine forms from his desk. "I'll finish these for you then."

He rolled his eyes, "Thanks for your generosity."

She actually could do the work; she just did not like doing it and would avoid it by all means. He stood up and stretched; working out a few kinks in his neck. Matsumoto silently slid into the chair that he had just vacated.

"You know you do have your own desk for a reason." He stated.

"I know but sitting in your desk makes me feel all official."

"You're a Fukutaicho how much more official do you want?"

"And your chair is so much bigger and more comfortable than mine."

He rolled his eyes. Even when she was being helpful she was exasperating. He wondered over to the couch and sat down. There was nothing else much to do in the office.

"Taicho, when is Yuichi-kun coming?"

The boy raised his eyebrow, "Why would Takahashi be coming?"

She glanced up from the form she was reading, "Don't tell me you've already forgotten. You're date, Taicho."

His eyebrow twitched, "Don't call it a date. He just wants to show me around. All it is, is a simple act of kindness, nothing more."

"It's so nice that you're finally making friends, Taicho."

"He's making friends with Kaida, not me. I make it a point not to fraternise with subordinates."

She shook her head, "He should be coming soon anyway. It's almost noon."

Toushiro sighed and lay back on the couch, he half hopped that the boy would forget their little appointment.

_Now that's mean, Toushiro. He likes you so much; you could at least pretend to care._

_Why should I? I don't actually care._

_But you two would make such a nice couple._

_I'm going to pretend that I did not just hear you say that._

Be it karma or be it... something else, he sensed Yuichi's reiatsu approaching the office. His spiritual pressure was kind of wild but it had a cooling feeling. He must have a wind type zanpakuto. Soon there was a knock on the office door. Toushiro sighed this was going to be a long afternoon.

("\(^.^)/")

Yuichi had brought him flowers. Yes flowers. He held the bouquet of daffodils loosely in his arms. The boy had brought him _flowers._

"Daffodils are the symbol of division 10," He explained, "consider it like a formal introduction into the division." He scratched the back of his neck blushing.

Toushiro sighed; yes he knew that the daffodil was the symbol of his own division. But the fact that Yuichi had bought him a bouquet of them... he had never dreamed that another male would be buying him flowers.

"D-do you like them?" He asked a worried expression seeping onto his face.

The boy was one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. It was both a good thing and a bad thing. Meaning that Toushiro would be able to tell what was going through his mind at the moment, but it also meant that he was able to use the guilt trip on him. Toushiro sighed he really did not want to hurt the boy's feelings but this felt so wrong. He did not want to give Yuichi any indication that Kaida may like him back. They could be friends, but nothing more than that.

"I don't really like flowers in general..." He mumbled.

Yuichi's shoulders visibly slumped and hurt made its way into his eyes. Toushiro mentally slapped himself on the forehead.

"But daffodils are alright... thanks."

_Nice save._

_ I hate being nice._

Yuichi brightened; literally a light had gone off in his hazel eyes. He smiled nervously. Toushiro shook his head; this was going to be a very long afternoon.

The pair walked down a narrow corridor with sliding doors on either side.

"We're in the squad barracks now," Yuichi explained, "The kitchens are that way and the bath houses are over there."

Toushiro resisted the urge to roll his eyes and yell out in frustration. He knew all of this for crying out loud, it was _his_ division for god's sake. However, he patiently trotted beside Yuichi pretending to be interested.

"I know the division is pretty big and easy to get lost in, that's happened to me quite a few times, but just stop and ask anyone where to go, they won't bite your head off."

Oh please, a Taicho getting lost in his own division? Now that was laughable. But if anything the boy was amusing, the way he was tripping over himself, trying to impress him. He kind of reminded him of a little puppy.

_Oh so you are growing to like him._

_ I never said I liked puppies._

_ Everyone likes puppies._

_ Not me. And he's being exceptionally annoying._

_He's just trying to make you welcome. You can't blame him for trying to be nice._

_Yeah, well this better be over soon, he's smothering me._

"Kaida are you listening..."

"Oh um... sorry what were you saying."

"The mess hall is at the end of this corridor." He glanced down at him worry creeping into his eyes again, "Am I boring you?"

To death. "No I was just side tracked, go on."

He sighed quietly, why had he agreed to this anyway?

"And the training grounds are this way."

He stifled a yawn, since when his division was this boring? He should have just told Yuichi he did not want to come in the first place.

Yuichi led him outside to a rather large field-like area swarming with sword-fighting Shinigami. Toushiro blinked adjusting his eyes to the sight. Did his men really practice that much? He could not even remember the last time he had set foot on the training ground to practice; it was just paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork for him.

"Do you practice often?" He asked Yuichi.

The boy nodded, "Yeah, whenever I get the chance. I want to make it to at least fifth seat someday."

Toushiro glanced around the field, people were jumping at each other, grunts, yells, 'battle cries', and the clang of metal against metal was deafening. The smell of sweat was strong in the air. The scene was nostalgic in a way. His hand gripped the katana tied to his waist; a strong want to face off against anybody became apparent. Okay, so he had not been practicing recently, if it was not for the Aizen situation he probably would have packed on a few pounds and gotten rusty. But this was just a friendly spar and god knows when last he had one of those. He turned to Yuichi.

"You any good?"

The boy seemed shocked, "I, um, maybe, I guess so."

He rolled his eyes. The boy had confidence issues, hence his indecisiveness. "It's a yes or no question, either you're good at it or you're not."

"Well I can beat all of my best friends..."

"Let's see then."

Yuichi looked surprised, but led him to a clear spot on the training field. He should have been more excited for this; he was going to have a sparring match with his captain. Well, not that he knew that, but still.

Toushiro did a few quick stretches before drawing his sword. It felt odd and stubby, he was used to the length of his Hyourinmaru, and this one was too short for his liking. Oh well, there was nothing he could do about that now. He glared at Yuichi who had yet to make any move to draw his zanpakuto. He raised an eyebrow.

"Come on Takahashi, you aren't scared are you?"

He pulled his sword out from the sheath. "No I'm not scared. I just feel weird fighting a girl."

His eyebrow twitched. He was not a girl for crying out loud! That little...

_Calm down master, it's not his fault._

_ I will not calm down! This is just- just- just... I don't have a word for it but I don't like it. He feels weird fighting a girl? I'll show him what weird feels like!_

Hyourinmaru sighed, _Just don't go too hard on him, there're people watching. _

Toushiro narrowed his eyes and pointed his sword at Yuichi, "I'm going to make you regret saying that."

Yuichi grinned cheekily, "Fine, but I'm not going to go easy on you."

"Good, don't." The boy seemed to be surer of himself when he held the sword. It was either that he was a really good fighter or had a zanpakuto spirit that kicked him into shape.

Either way this fight was going to be interesting. He let Yuichi take the first strike. Wow, the boy was fast. He almost hit him, almost. He decided to keep on the defensive end for a while longer dodging Yuichi's attacks. The boy was quick; his attacks flowed into each other, like he planned out every move. He really did have some skill, Toushiro observed, give him a few years time and he possibly could make it into a seated member. He spun Yuichi's blade nearly grazing his cheek. Okay daydreaming was a no in this battle.

"I thought you said that you were a prodigy, Kaida?" he taunted, "What are you doing daydreaming during a battle?"

Toushiro scowled. The boy really did not want him to get serious. He could kill him without breaking a sweat. But fine if he wanted to play that way.

Quickly changing into an offense stance, he swung the katana at the boy's midsection. Surprised, the brown haired Shinigami jumped back almost tripping over his feet. He needed to work on his foot work. That was obviously not his strength. Toushiro swung again before he had regained his balance. Momentarily forgetting himself, that attack would have decapitated the boy. Thankfully the sword was not nearly as long as Hyourinmaru and the attack did not reach. He pulled back in surprise mentally scolding himself, he had almost killed the boy. Stupid, stupid, stupid he should have been paying more attention.

_Now we definitely are getting attached. _ Hyourinmaru snickered.

_I am not. I just don't want my subordinate's blood on my hands..._

_ Whatever makes you sleep at night, Toushiro. I think that you are growing to like him._

_ Don't be ridiculous, I'm not gay remember, I don't like other guys._

_ ... I didn't mean in that way. I meant like a friend._

_ Oh..._

Yuichi seemed mildly astonished that he had acquired the offensive position so quickly after nearly having his head taken off. "Wow, Kaida, you're pretty good. Though, you shouldn't hesitate after attacking. It gives your opponent a chance to recover, and you wouldn't want that now would you?"

Toushiro smirked, if only the boy knew who he was talking to. "No I wouldn't, and likewise you should pay more attention to your feet, that particular stance makes you unstable, and easy for me to do this."

With a quick jab he knocked the blunt edge of his sword into the boy's right hip. Since his footwork was already off that blow only helped in knocking him off balance, he went crashing into the floor. Toushiro stood over the boy and pointed his sword at his jugular.

"Still feel weird fighting a _girl_, Takahashi?"

The said boy looked up at him a myriad of emotions crossed his face. First it was astonishment that he had lost, second it was anger that he had lost, third it was unbelief that he had lost, then he settled for a smile as he saw who had beat him.

"You really weren't kidding when you said that you would make me sorry."

"I generally don't make jokes." (A/N: awww they're flirting : )... that's not weird at all...)

He pushed himself off the ground as Toushiro sheathed his sword.

"You're really good. They didn't teach us all that at the academy, where did you learn such skill?" He dusted himself off; sweat was streaming down his face.

"You're not so bad yourself, Takahashi; just pay more attention to your footwork."

He scratched the back of his neck, "Everyone keeps telling me that. I-"

"Look who just got his butt kicked by a girl!"

The two spun around to see a beefy Shinigami with straw blond hair glaring at Yuichi. He was surrounded by a bunch of other Shinigami.

"Oh, great him..." Yuichi mumbled.

Toushiro raised an eyebrow, a bully? He did not tolerate that in his squad, they were all equals no exceptions... except him, the Taicho, and Matsumoto of course, but neither of them would abuse their authority. So someone with no jurisdiction should not do so either. He glared at the intruder.

"You just went from looser to... a bigger looser. Ha, beaten by a girl."

He was not that smart either. Toushiro felt his eyebrow start to twitch. If one more person called him a girl... no. He as much as he wanted to he could not beat up a subordinate, especially one as incompetent as him. Still his hands curled into fists at his sides.

Yuichi noticed and put a hand on his shoulder drawing him away from the other Shinigami. "Don't pay attention to him." He muttered, "He couldn't stick his own Zanpakuto through a paralyzed menos grande even if he tried."

The corners of Toushiro's mouth flickered upwards and he shook his head. Yuichi was the one being targeted and yet he was trying to comfort him. He was really true to his name; kind one. However, the world always knew how to spoil the mood.

All of a sudden his face darkened as a deep blush spread across his cheeks. His eyebrows twitched rapidly and he began to tremble with fury. There was a hand on his butt. Someone was touching his butt, groping his backside, fingering his bottom, feeling his derriere, stroking his _ass_! And to make matters worse, he had completely frozen up.

"Sexy little, thing aren't you?" A gruff voice whispered in ear.

All the blood drained from his face and an expression that would have put the bastard Aizen to shame made its way onto his face. That was it. Toushiro had never moved faster in his life. In half the time it took a person to blink he had drawn his sword and pointed it at the offending person's throat.

"I dare you to try that again!" He yelled, his face going red with both indignation and anger.

So caught up in his own emotions it took him a while to realist that he was not the only one who had reacted. Yuichi's sword was also pointed at the man's throat, a murderous expression fixed on his face. Toushiro glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, his blush deepening a bit.

"Ooo, feisty little one aren't we?"The man grinned.

Toushiro pressed the tip of his sword against his throat. But Yuichi was the one who responded.

"I would appreciate it if you did not speak." His voice was deadly cold, radiating killing intent. Toushiro was shocked, how could such an easy going boy just change into this in a heartbeat? He couldn't even invoke such fear in the hearts of others and heck he was their _Taicho_. He wrote their pay checks, he could fire them at a moment's notice if he so pleased.

The man raised his arms in surrender and backed away, "I'm sorry, I didn't know she was your woman."

"I'm not his woman!" Toushiro yelled the same time as Yuichi shouted,

"She's not my woman!"

There was laughter from the porky blond Shinigami from before.

"Oh please, I doubt that Yuichi could even get a woman in the first place. He just got beaten by that _little girl_ who doesn't even look strong enough to hold her zanpakuto."

Toushiro turned his livid gaze to the blond boy. Oh yeah, something needed to be done about that guy. Yuichi hung his head hurt cross his expressive eyes. No way, after that show he just gave he was just going to take that hit sitting down? Toushiro shook his head; the boy definitely had confidence issues. Of course he would have gotten beaten by the _little girl_, they did not even know who exactly the _little girl _was. He gritted his teeth, that boy... wait a second he just insulted him too didn't he? Not strong enough to hold her zanpakuto? He did not just say that.

"You wanna test that theory?" He growled.

The blond boy glanced at him with undisguised disgust. "It won't be much of a problem to beat you. I don't want to make you feel bad."

Why that little...

"You won't be talking like that when I beat your ass. Or are you scared?"

"Me scared, little girl you don't know who you're talking to."

_More like you don't know who you're talking to, Hitsugaya-Taicho ring a bell?_

Toushiro extended his arm and wiggled his fingers at the boy; bring it on. That was the icing on the cake. The corpulent boy ran at him his sword drawn level with Toushiro's chest.

"Kaida," Yuichi called, "You don't have to-"

The blond boy went down in two second flat.

("\(^.^)/")

Toushiro stomped into the office a somewhat apprehensive Yuichi on his heels.

"So how did it go," Matsumoto asked upon their entrance but when she saw her Taicho's expression she rephrased the question, "What happened?"

Toushiro plopped himself down on the couch an electrical black cloud over his head. "What are you doing here Matsumoto?" He demanded.

She raised an eyebrow and regarded the small boy with concern in her pale blue eyes. "This is my office as well, you know."

He snorted, "Yeah, but aren't you usually out drinking at this time?"

She turned to Yuichi, "What happened to hi- er... her?"

"Well, we ran into one of the famous division bullies... and she challenged him to a fight." He answered fidgeting with his thumbs.

Matsumoto's eyes widened, "She didn't lose did she?"

"No, she actually pinned the guy down in less than a minute..."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well, when she won, some of the guys went crazy and -"

"They _attacked_ me Matsumoto!" Toushiro exploded, "At least fifty of them jumped on me! It was like they had never seen a girl before in their lives. It was humiliating!"

"I think you're exaggerating, Kaida," Yuichi sighed, "There was only around twenty of them..."

He cut the boy a sharp glance, "The point is all of them were asking me to go to dinner with them at the same time."

"You didn't turn all of them down?" Matsumoto asked horrified.

"Of course I did! I would never be caught dead with a single one of those animals."

"... You shunpoed away." Yuichi stated.

Matsumoto started laughing, "I should be angry at you for being so rude to them, Kaida, but that is just hilarious. You mean you ran away from them?"

"I panicked, okay! Sheesh, they all came at me all at once."

Matsumoto shook her head still laughing, "What am I going to do with you?" She was laughing so hard that she had to sit down.

Yuichi noticed that she had sat in the Taicho's desk and a slight frown formed on his face.

"Um, Lieutenant Matsumoto?"

She looked up at him gasping for air, her ginger hair falling in her face tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Yes - gasp - Yuichi-kun – gasp, gasp?"

He lowered his eyes to the floor. Toushiro rolled his eyes, there was no such need to be shy.

"It may not be any of my business, but um... where is Hitsugay-Taicho? I haven't seen him in a while. I know that he is hard to locate most of the time but... I was just wondering."

Matsumoto instantly sobered up. Toushiro had gone tense. The boy was much smarter than he let on to be.

"He, ah, he is on sick leave." She answered twirling a lock of strawberry blond hair between her fingers.

Toushiro raised an eyebrow; "Sick leave?" Was that the best she could come up with? Why not say he was on a mission to the living world? That was just as believable.

"He's sick with what?" Yuichi asked growing concern on his face.

Matsumoto bit her lip, "...Exhaustion, yeah. He's been working too hard lately; all those sleepless nights had finally caught up with him, hehe."

Toushiro rolled his eyes, she made it seem like he was some little child.

_Don't even comment on that Hyourinmaru._

_ I wasn't going to say anything except coughyouareachildcough. Hmm I must be getting a cold or something._

_Very clever, _Toushiro replied rolling his eyes,_ And plus, you're made of ice you can't get a cold. If you're going to come up with a lame excuse at least make one that is feasible._

"Oh. Well, I hope he gets better soon." Yuichi said.

Matsumoto smiled, "I'll pass on your good wishes." She paused and put a finger to her lips, "I probably should make a public announcement that the Taicho is sick."

Toushiro paled, "I don't think that's necessary Matsumoto."

"Just in case anybody else asks about yo- I mean him."

He sent her a sharp glance. She had almost said you. They could not afford for slip ups like that, especially not as there was someone else in the room. He glanced at Yuichi, who had a raised eyebrow and was staring from Toushiro to Matsumoto then back to Toushiro. Oh great, he noticed that something was up.

He swallowed. The day could not get any worse. He had been bored half to death, molested and hit on by at least seventy men from his own squad, now he had to explain to a boy who had a crush on him, why he, Hitsugaya-Taicho, was a girl.

"Do you want something Takahashi?" He asked. He might as well just get this over with.

"Um, no... I was just wondering why you were calling your cousin by her last name."

He stared at the boy, silently thanking the gods. There was still some hope for him. He was not totally doomed.

"...I call everyone by their last names."

It was a lame answer but oddly Yuichi was okay with that.

* * *

**Sooo how was it? I'm gonna ask this every time ppl get used to it.**

**Well, Toushiro and Yuichi's relationship is definitely 'developing' lol, I almost feel sorry for them... almost.**

**I'm still fishing for suggestions... I do know where this story is gonna go but more chaos is always welcome in my books xD**

**Okay, we both know what I'm after so Ima go straight out and say it - REVIEW!**

**-Mymomomo**

**p.s I'm done my exams so this is gonna get updated much faster... if I feel in the mood (and reviews put me in the mood hint hint)**


	8. What do you really think of me?

**Presenting chapter 8!**

***sniff my baby's growing up already 8 chapters where does the time go to?**

**Okay I did honour someone's request in this chap... I just can't remember who's 0_o oh well, you know yourself. Hope you like it! (seriously, I know I saw the review but I couldn't find it when went to look for you name, sorry)**

**Disclaimer: I own bleach, who doesn't, how do you wash your clothes?**

**The story is under the line.**

* * *

Toushiro rested his head back against the edge of the bath. Steam rose in spirals from the warm water he was soaking in. He sighed; it really was relaxing just sitting in the water that is. He felt his muscles unwind from the stress of that day as his skin absorbed the comforting heat. He was lucky to get the bath to himself. Usually, there would be swarms of people bathing at once. He hated that so he usually only bathed at odd times like very early in the morning or late at night, when everyone else would be sleeping. It was not that he was that self conscious but... okay he was very self conscious, so he hated 'exposing' himself in plain view of others. Hence his erratic bath schedule.

_You would think that with you being a Taicho and all, you would have your own bath. _Hyourinmaru grumbled.

Toushiro shrugged slipping deeper into the water. _Well I don't so deal with it. Plus why are you complaining it's not like there's a chance that anyone would see you naked, you're in my head... you don't even wear clothes!_

The dragon chuckled. Toushiro saw him curled up his wings folded against his side, in the middle of the icy field of his mindscape. He seemed relaxed also. Who would have guessed that the ice dragon liked hot water?

Speaking of clothes, he felt the tiny white towel slip away from his body. He sighed, why would a bath of stagnant water have such strong currents? Gathering the towel back around him a blush crept up his cheeks. Okay, he had been in this body for a grand total of three days and he had yet to get used to it. It just did not feel right. He was _missing_ in some areas but in others there was _more_. He had not gotten used to that part yet. Thankfully, he had been able to refrain from crossing his arms across his chest for some time now. It was an accomplishment; so to speak, it cut down on some of the awkwardness of his situation. In fact he had almost forgotten about his predicament right before he had decided to take a bath. Then he had almost gone into the male bathroom...

_If it wasn't for me you would have been in an even more embarrassing situation right now. Imagine if someone had caught Lieutenant Matsumoto's little cousin going into the male bath house. Can you spell pervert?_

Toushiro rolled his eyes, _I'm sorry but it was easy for me to forget that I, a male, was not supposed to use the male baths. It was a simple mistake._

_What I am to do with you, child? You always down play the heaviness of such actions. If you had gone in there and someone else had seen you what would have happened?_

Toushiro scowled, Hyourinmaru had this annoying way of ignoring his genius most of the time. _I'm not stupid Hyourinmaru. I understand my situation._

The dragon went on ignoring him, _The best case scenario; you would have been seriously embarrassed or reported to Matsumoto and god knows what the woman would have done then. The worst case scenario... I'd rather not go there._

_What would have been the worst?_

_I said I'd rather not go there._

_Hyourinmaru stop treating me like a child._

_Fine. Rape._

Toushiro inhaled about a gallon of water in surprise at the dragon's forward answer. He coughed harshly trying to clear his air ways. God, that had seriously stung his nose. Hot water was not meant to be breathed in.

_What kind of sick, perverted mind do you have?_ Toushiro yelled at him.

_I was just stating the facts._ _You make a pretty girl Toushiro, and there are deranged, twisted people in this world._

_Not in my division. I won't allow it._

Hyourinmaru sighed, _Says the man who was groped by one of his own men. They look all innocent on the outside, Toushiro, then they get you all alone and then BAM, you're pregnant!_

In went another gallon of water. Seriously, the dragon should warn him when he was going to say stuff like that. He nose was red now, he was sure of that. Maybe he shouldn't sit so low down in the water, Hyourinmaru had always been unpredictable.

_W-what? _He stammered. His cheeks turned red to match his nose. He just _had_ to bring up that memory, because that man was so on his mind at the moment. He had been trying to forget the whole incident with the touching and his butt. And pregnant? What the hell was the dragon thinking; he was a guy remember?

_I'm serious; it's a dangerous world out there for women._

_You're forgetting that I am of Taicho class..._

_Oh, you do have a point there. Never mind in that case._

Toushiro sighed and leaned back again, closing his eyes. The heat was making him sleepy; he should be getting out soon, before he fainted. Now that would be humiliating, well more humiliating. Still, he felt his eyes begin to droop. Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt.

_Don't even think about falling asleep here, Toushiro. You'll wake up like a prune._

The boy rolled his eyes, _Yeah I'm getting out now._

He stretched his limbs and stood up. He felt tired, like he needed a good rest now, but he had to admit that the hot water was relaxing, even if he could not stand high temperatures normally. He was about to step out of the bath when he heard voices. Surprised, he dropped back into the water with a plop. So much for being alone. He cursed his luck for the umpteenth time that day and drew the towel closer around his body. What was someone doing up at this time of night, especially coming into the bath house at this hour?

_But isn't that what you are doing? Taking a midnight bath too?_

_I have my reasons. I want to know theirs._

Shrinking into the furthest corner of the bath, Toushiro was glad that whoever had built the place had been wise enough to make the baths huge and that there was steam rising from the water making it difficult to see. He sunk under that water so that only his head was above the surface, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they would not notice him. This just had to happen to him, and things were going so well for the past couple of hours too. So much for relaxing, he scowled deeply.

Three women came into his line of vision wrapped in small white towels. Toushiro felt himself blush crimson. This was something he did not need to see, as if he wasn't mentally scared enough, thanks to Matsumoto. He quickly turned away shutting his eyes tightly. No one should have to see what he had been about to witness, especially a boy, which he was, though not at the moment. He was not a pervert; he felt absolutely no need to look. Why did he always find himself in such embarrassing situations? Couldn't he just live a normal life, er afterlife? Did someone up their hate him so much? Why, why, why?

_Toushiro, breathe,_ Hyourinmaru sighed,_ you can't even see them from all the way over here, and look they're in already. Don't be so immature._

_Look who's talking! _He could have sworn that the dragon sounded a tab bit disappointed. Ugh pervert.

He glanced over to the women; well there was no way he was getting out any time soon. He sighed, may as well relax a little while longer. Fortunately, they had not noticed him, which was a very good thing. His white hair was in plain view for everyone to see and he had taken out the contacts to bathe. It would take an idiot to not realise who he really was without his disguise. Sliding a little deeper into the water, he pushed himself closer into the corner. He hoped they wouldn't take too long, the heat was beginning to get uncomfortable, or maybe it was because he was blushing.

_How do you do it, master?_

_Do what?_

_Get yourself trapped between a rock and a hard place so often, metaphorically speaking._

_I really don't know, it's a curse. Do you think I must have been a bad person in my previous life?_

_No, why?_

_Because why am I being punished so?_

Hyourinmau's response was cut short when one of the women decided to speak. Surprisingly sound travelled well in the empty room.

"You were right; no one would be here at this time. Now we have the baths all to ourselves."

Toushiro snorted, you wish. In fact he wished that they did have the bath all to themselves.

"This is great; I always hate bathing when the place is so crowded."

_Yeah me too..._

Hyourinmaru smiled at Toushiro's input. _Just ignore them, master. They don't even know you're here._

_I can't just ignore them; they're right in front of me! _

_Fine, just don't do anything stupid._

_Like what? I'm not gonna move until they leave._

The dragon just shook his head.

"So what have you two been up to, I haven't seen either of you in a while?" The women had started up their conversation again.

It was not that Toushiro wanted to eavesdrop, he really really did not want to know all about these women's business, but he did not have much of a choice. He could cover his ears, but that would not do much good. He could stick his head underwater that would work except for this little thing called breathing. He groaned silently wondering what he had done to deserve this.

"Nothing much, the usual, practicing (A/N: what do Shinigami do when they're not fighting hollows?), oh I was on kitchen duty last week if that's interesting."

The other two laughed, "You would think that being a Shinigami would be more interesting, they made it seem so cool in the academy."

"Only the seated members get to have any fun."

"I'm not too sure about that, the Taicho is always doing paperwork and that doesn't seem any fun at all."

_You have no idea._ Toushiro snapped internally.

"And speaking of the Taicho did you guys hear that he got sick?"

_Matsumoto..._

_Relax, Toushiro, it would have gotten out anyway. You're too hard on the woman._

_I have every right to be. She's almost as annoying as you are!_

The dragon snickered; _If you say so. But you are the one who is too easily annoyed._

"Really? With what? The poor boy, I hope it's nothing serious."

Toushiro scowled intensely at them, they had better watch their mouths it they were going to talk about him.

_At least you know they care about you._

_Shut up._

"I heard it was exhaustion or something, he completely blacked out in the office three days ago. You should have seen the Lieutenant she was going crazy about it. She locked everyone out of the office and called Unohana-Taicho."

"She called Unohana-Taicho? I must have been serious then. Hitsugaya-Taicho works too hard, that's not good for a child his age."

_CHILD!_

_Calm down, Toushiro-_

_I'll show them child! Can a child dock their pay? Can a child_ _do ban-kai? Can a child be their stinking TAICHO?_

_Toushiro... don't freeze the water your reiatsu is leaking._

He quickly put himself into check. Freezing the water would definitely alert the women to his presence. But who the hell were they to call him a child?

_We've been down this road already, Toushiro. You. Are. A. Child. Just learn to accept it._

_... Shut up._

_Oh nice comeback, so witty, so ingenious, so hurtful._

"He is a prodigy though; he should be able to take care of himself."

_Thank you._

"I still think that he is too young to be undertaking all that responsibility. He has never given us a reason to doubt him but, do you think that it was fair of the Soutaicho to make him into a Taicho?"

_Toushiro, you're reiatsu..._

_Once again, people are doubting my ability to be a Taicho, this is precisely why I have to work so hard!_

"Don't worry about him so much, guys, he can hold his own."

At least _one_ person believed in him.

"Anyway speaking of seated members did you hear that Lieutenant Matsumoto has a new cousin?"

"Yeah, I saw her in the training field today."

Great so either way they had come to the baths to gossip about him. Oh, why did the world hate him so?

_Think about it as you being popular. You're a conversation piece._

_Great, just great._

_I know isn't it?_

_That was sarcasm Hyourinmaru._

_... I knew that._

"Her cousin? Where do you find all of this out? I didn't even know she had a family."

"Well they have the same last name; we assume that they are related somehow. And I have my sources."

"So what's she like, is she anything like the lieutenant?"

"Well I only saw her for a short while yesterday, but from what I saw, she was exactly like the lieutenant."

_WHAT! I'm nothing like Matsumoto!_

_They would beg to differ. _Hyourinmaru snickered.

"She was flirting with this boy while they were sparing,"

_I wasn't flirting with Takahashi..._

_Actually it kind of seemed like you were._

_AND YOU DIDN'T STOP ME?_

_I...well... no._

"But she was very pretty, just like the lieutenant herself; they even had the same colour eyes. Though, she wore a scarf over her head so I couldn't see what colour her hair was."

"I wonder what Hitsugaya-Taicho will think of this when he gets back."

"Yeah, I know he will have to deal with two Matsumotos."

One of the women sighed, "That woman really needs to settle down. Something should be done to prevent her cousin from ending up as frivolous."

Toushiro glared at them. Matsumoto was the furthest thing from frivolous. She may appear so on the outside but he knew that she was actually determined, loyal and very intelligent. Not one of those women was even half as good as his lieutenant, heck not even a quarter as good as her. Stupid gossipers, they should get their facts straight on a person before deciding to talk about them in such a way. He should make a new rule for his division, no gossipers, no bullies... and no perverts.

"But how do you prevent something like that from happening? Marriage?"

"But which man in the Seireitei, would be able to curb something like that?"

He gagged, not this again. He would decide if and when he wanted to get married. And if he did it would be to a _woman, _goddamnit!

"He would have to be either a Taicho or a Fukutaicho to handle something like that little girl, if she is anything like the Lieutenant."

His scowl deepened.

_Toushiro, watch your reiatsu, I'm only going to say this once more, control it._

_But listen to them. Not only are they insulting Matsumoto but they are saying that I am wild and need to get married... to a MAN!_

_They don't know any better. But what man could possible 'tame' you anyway?_

_Hyourinmaru..._

_Kenpachi maybe, but he's not interested. Hmmm, they were right it would have to be a Taicho or a Lieutenant... we can cross of all the females then, and the Second's lieutenant 'cause that's just... ew."_

_Hyourinmaru..._

_Then there's Ukitake but he would be too lenient with you and spoil you, Kyoraku too he'd be too gentle and not nearly serious enough. Who else? Not Komamura, he's way too big for you he could squish you accidentally. His lieutenant sucks, to chauvinistic and he has stomach problems and he never takes off his shades! What if he has an eye infection now? You wouldn't even be able to tell a thing until it's too late. The ninth's Lieutenant is a possibility he's tough enough to handle you, but I'm not liking the whole tattoo on the face. That knocks off Renji too, he's also not too bright and is way too tall._

_Hyourinmaru..._

_Byakuya could work, but I don't relish the idea of you being a noble. We can just cut out the entire first division; too old. And of course Kurotsuchi, even if you did like him I would never let you marry him, never ever, end of story._

_Hyourinmaru..._

_Then there's Kira but he's obviously in love with Momo-_

_HYOURINMARU!_

_Yes toushiro?_

_Stop. Please. You're getting me sick. I am not a woman. I am not going to get married to any one of those men. So just shut up._

_Fine, ruin all of my fun._

_THAT'S NOT FUN!_

_Hush look they've decided on who's the perfect match for you..._

"Well I think that Hitsugaya-Taicho would make the best match for her."

_You've got to be kidding me. _

"They're both young and he is the no nonsense type, yeah he can fix her."

"But Lieutenant Matsumoto..."

"She's a grown woman; you can't expect him to be able to deal with that."

Toushiro shook his head. So they thought that the best match for him would be himself. This was embarrassing from both ends. Hyourinmaru was killing himself laughing inside the boy's head.

"It's such a pity though, about the Lieutenant, she just can't seem to control herself."

"Well how else did you think she made it to Fukutaicho rank? It was certainly not by her fighting skills. Some _other _skill maybe."

Toushiro felt his temper rise. How dear they talk about Matsumoto like that, they did not even know her. She was an honourable woman and better than any one of them there.

"And did you hear about her fling with the third division Taicho?"

That was it. He would not tolerate them talking about Matsumoto in that way.

_Toushiro, wait just a minute-_

But the dragon's warning went unheeded. Toushiro stood up glaring daggers at the women. They spun to face him at the sudden noise, surprise written on each one of their faces. They were shocked speechless.

Toushiro curled his hands into fists, "You shouldn't speak that way about others." His voice was dripping with poison. "I don't think that the lieutenant or the Taicho would be pleased to hear you talking about them in that manner."

With that he stepped out of the bath and headed to the changing rooms, blistering with fury. The women stared after him wide eyed.

"Who was that?"

"... It looked like Lieutenant Matsumoto's ...cousin, I believe. Well I can see why she covers her hair."

He gritted his teeth. He had just told them off and they were making fun of him. Those insolent little...did they even care that he could rat them out to the lieutenant? Probably not, since they were talking about her like that in the first place. They were lucky he did not know their names. But at least they were stupid enough not to recognise him.

Hyourinmau cut in with a heavy sigh._ You remember when I told you not to do anything stupid?_

_...Yeah._

_Well what you just did was exactly what I was referring to._

__

* * *

**Cheers to whoever can figure out what I'm gonna ask... what did you think of it?**

**Gossip is bad people don't ever get caught up in it.**

**now for a few notes on the chapter:**

**1. about Toushiro not having his own bath, i think that he would have one since he is like the boss of his own division... but in the bleach movie 'The Diamond Dust Rebellion' I saw Matsumoto's quarters and they were very um... plain basically a box with a window and door, and she's Fukutaicho, which leaves me to to believe that shinigami are not very extravagant people.**

**2. this should really be at the top of the story but i put it here b/c i felt like it xP, this story is NOT a yaoi, I repeat not a yaoi. Toushiro and Yuichi are not gay and will not be in this story. (I don't hold anything against homosexual relationships but I just can't imagine myself writing anything like that.)**

**3. Once again there is no three. xD I just like the number.**

**... no wait there is a three, can anyone guess what it is? Anyone? Review please xD**

**-Mymomomo**


	9. The great candy escapade

**Chapter nine! only one more chapter until our tenth anniversary- I mean chapter xD**

**I plan on starting something like a mini arc in the next chapter that deals with the SWA hope it will be up to your standards **

**Disclaimer: I do you really think that I would own bleach and still be writing fanfiction?**

**Warning: complete crack in this chapter; sugar high Yachiru, nuff said.**

**Now you can continue with the story xD**

* * *

How did I end up here again? Toushiro wondered for the millionth time that afternoon. He remembered sitting in his office filling out paperwork (that thing just did not end) occasionally sipping a cup of green tea and enjoying the relative quiet of his office. Then Matsumoto had come in. She burst into the room, an over excited flurry of pink and ginger. She was practically bouncing off the walls. Toushiro had been shocked to put it mildly, and without any warning what so ever she had whisked him out of his seat, despite his protests, and carried, yes carried, him out of the office. It had all happened so fast. He could not even begin to comprehend what had really happened. One minute he was doing paperwork the next he was being dragged by his Lieutenant's to god alone knows where.

_This woman is truly amazing, do you know that Toushiro?_ Hyourinmaru was just as out of it as his master. His red eyes blinked slowly trying to understand what had just happened.

_Do you think she found out about last night?_ Toushiro asked hesitantly. Matsumoto was behaving strangely today. She seemed happier than usual. Her bubbly personality was gushing over. You could tell from the small smile on her face and the way she bounced while she walked. Well, someone had a good night last night.

_I don't think she would be this happy if she did. She's lacking the usual hangover, so it must be something serious._

Toushiro glanced up at the strawberry blond. "Matsumoto, what is going on?"

She grinned and looked down at him, "You'll see."

He sighed; this was not a time for jokes no matter how happy she was. He had been literally dragged away from his work, work that could pile up if he left it unattended for even a minute. He tried to wriggle out of her grasp but she held on tight.

"Matsumoto, where are you bringing me? I have work to do right now, this is not the time for your shenanigans."

She sighed but still dragged him forward; he found that he had to jog to keep up with her quick stride. "Now Taicho, if I tell you it'll ruin the surprise."

Now he was curious, "Surprise? What surprise? Matsumoto stop beating around the bush and tell me what's going on."

She shook her head, her blond waves bounced on her shoulders, "No can do, Taicho."

"Matsumoto!" He was shocked at how whiny his voice sounded. He had just sounded like a spoilt little kid. Oh god no. What was this world coming to, where he, Hitsugaya-Taicho, sounded like a snot-nosed little brat? He cleared his throat and tried again. "Matsumoto, I order you to tell me where you are taking me." Ah, much better; authority, confidence, annoyance. Now that was the voice he was used to.

"I'm sorry Taicho, but that is one order that I will not comply to."

"If you don't tell me this instant, I will have you doing so much paperwork later the brush will become a permanent part of your hand."

She paused for a second, "I can live with that."

His jaw dropped. Did she just agree to do paperwork? She must have wanted to keep him in the dark really badly. But he was not one to like being ignoramus. He gritted his teeth together and balled his free hand into a fist.

"Matsumoto! Tell me this instant!" He was going to lose it any minute now, if he did not find out what his eccentric lieutenant was up to this time.

"Nope." She was unaffected by his outburst, and continued flouncing down the hallway at an almost breakneck pace.

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Matsumoto!"

"Uh uh."

"Please."

"Not gonna."

"Mat-su-mo-to!"

"Sorry Taicho."

"Come on, tell me!"

"No."

He growled. That infuriating woman, she was going to drive him crazy one of these days.

"Matsumoto, tell me!"

"That's not happening, Taicho."

"Why?"

"Because it's a surprise."

_Just give up, master, it's obvious that she's not going to talk._

_That woman's going to make me go grey before my time._

_... You might want to rephrase that statement. How about grow old before your time or give you high blood pressure because let's face it, Toushiro, you've already gone grey._

_You know that there are times that I am really glad that you're my inner spirit?_

_Aww, really?_

_Yeah, but now is not one of them._

_...Okay fine I get it you don't have to tell me twice, I'm going._

Toushiro glanced around and realised that they had left the 10th. Seriously where was she taking him? He began to feel nervous, what if she was bringing him to the health land again? He shivered at memory of the last time she had done that. He had sworn that that would never happen again. But where was she leading him to? A club, heaven forbid. To get something to eat, but she would have told him and would not have made such a fuss about it when he asked. Shopping? No way in hell. If she dragged him into a store, he would freeze it solid, then burry her under piles and piles of paperwork. The question was driving him mad. He hated not knowing anything. Where was she taking him, goddamnit?

"Matsumoto, tell me, you're killing me here!"

She sighed again, "Who knew that you were so persistent, Taicho?"

"Just answer my question, woman!"

"Oh, I just remembered, Yuichi-kun gave me some flowers to give to you, a bouquet of at least twenty daffodils."

He rolled his eyes. Hadn't he told the boy that he did not like flowers? Why the hell would he send him more? "Send them back to him. I told him that I do not like flowers."

"That's so mean, Taicho. He has a crush on you, and flowers don't come cheap you know, that bouquet must have cost him his entire pay check."

"I didn't tell him to buy them. Furthermore, I don't give a damn if he has a 'crush' on me. I do not like him in that way."

"Oh so you do like him."

"He's a nice boy... and don't change the subject like that! Where are you taking me, goddamnit?"

"Here."

He blinked. They had reached where ever it is that they were going. He looked around. There was nothing special nearby. They stood in a hallway with a sliding door at one end. He looked at his lieutenant in confusion. Had she completely lost it? Did she drink one too many bottles of sake? He had heard that there were some long lasting side effects of alcohol abuse. Was senility one of them?

"Where is 'here' Matsumoto?"

She said nothing but bent down to his level and fixed the indigo scarf on his head and straightened his uniform much like a mother would her untidy child. She cocked her head and examined him for a short while before smoothing his eyebrows with her thumbs.

"What the hell, Matsumoto?" He ducked away from her touch. "What are you doing?"

"If you are any relation to me, Kaida, then you have to look presentable at all times."

"What are you on about...?"

She slid open the door with a flourish. Toushiro by instinct shrunk back but the blond woman pushed him forward. He instantly regretted waking up that morning.

"Ah Rangiku-"

"Yay! Big-boobies brought a friend!"

Then it hit him, both literally and figuratively, literally; when a ball of pink hit him forcefully in the abdomen, knocking the air out of him, figuratively; when he took in the various female Shinigami seated around the room. No! No! Noooo! His face paled as he realised where exactly his lieutenant, his conniving, soon-to-be-dead lieutenant, had brought him. He swallowed; this was the meeting room for the Shinigami Women's Association.

("\(^.^)/")

He wanted to bang his head on something, anything! Why did the universe love to torture him so? Could he not just be a woman in peace? Did everybody have to trouble him so much? He inched closer to the wall. That should do for a suitable head banging, but Matsumoto noticed his intentions and firmly held his hand. Why did she do this to him? Avoiding the paperwork and forcing it onto his shoulders was enough, but this? This was just... cruelty. Anything was better than this. And yes he did mean _anything_.

Nanao, Yachiru, Soifon, Isane, Kiyone, Rukia, Nemu and Momo looked at him with mild interest. He shrunk back behind his lieutenant. He knew those stares; Matsumoto looked at him like that enough times to know that it meant certain disaster for him. Heaven help him. He pleaded to whoever was above to save him... no to strike him down this instant, death was better than facing these women. They were going to kill him, torture him, then laugh at his dead body while drinking orange juice, (A/N: idk where that one came from), they would bury him then have a party on his grave, then they would dig him up and dress him in a pink, frilly, polka dot dress, with a little-Bo-Peep-bonnet and, oh god the horror!

_What an active imagination we have there._

_You know it's true! I'm going to die here Hyourinmaru!_

_Calm down, child. They are not going to kill you. _The dragon sighed, _This is the Shinigami Women's Association remember, they can't do anything too bad. They most they will do is pull out a few dresses for you to try on, and there's no harm in that._

_No harm he says. I don't know it may just be me, but I have this odd feeling that having a man wear a dress is wrong. _

Hyourinmaru chuckled, _You are not a man, Toushiro, not yet anyway you're prepubescent still._

_Oh gee, thanks. I just love it when people remind me of my physical maturity._

_Or lack thereof._

_You know I realise why you tease me so all the time._

_For the fun of it of course._

_No you always come in at the most awkward of times and get me angry so I don't concentrate on what's going on at the moment._

_Oh, you figured it out._

Toushiro shook his head, that dragon. _Thanks Hyourinmaru._

He just chuckled in response.

"... And that's how we are related, I think." Matsumoto finished with a flourish.

He glanced up at his lieutenant. Had she just given a story on how she had 'found' him? Oh great, it just had better not been too farfetched his cover was already precarious enough as it was. So much so that one false step could cause the whole thing to come crashing down on his head, with some very painful repercussions. Metaphorically speaking of course, the only thing that would be seriously hurt would be his self standing. The others looked dazed at Matsumoto's story. The only movements in the room were slow blinks, eyebrows rising and jaws dropping. Just what had she told them?

His musings were cut short when he felt a sharp poke in his stomach. Rubbing the area he looked angrily down at Yachiru. Was it just him or did the girl get more annoying by the second? She smiled up at him, the epitome of innocence, feigned innocence that is. If he had only known that that smile would be the root of all his troubles that day, he would have run out of the room screaming like the little girl he was supposed to be.

"Do you have any candy Towel-head?" She asked her smile only growing wider.

Towel-head? He sighed, Yachiru and her nicknames; well at least it was better than Big-boobies. He inwardly snickered, poor Matsumoto, not that she seemed to mind though. She usually displayed her assets with, ehem, vigour. But back to the matter at hand, Yachiru wanted candy, and when she wanted something she usually got it. Unfortunately for him he had no candy. Might as well begin to write his will, because either way she was going to kill him for not having any or kill him when forcing him to get her some.

He scratched the back of his neck and looked nervously into Yachiru's huge pink eyes. Damn that was one hell of a puppy dog look. But he well knew that her cute, innocent looks only served the purpose of hiding the true daemon inside.

He gulped, "I, ah, don't have any."

He saw Nanao sigh form the corner of his eyes and Matsumoto giggled quietly. Did he mention how much paperwork he would be forcing her to do when they got back to the office?

Yachiru cocked her head to the side, causing Toushiro to wince. He prepared himself both mentally and physically for the shouting/screaming/biting/jumping on him that may ensue. None of that came, however, instead the pink haired girl's smile widened even further so much so that her eyes squinted shut in a gin-like fashion. Oh boy, that was unnerving, that was the smile of a person plotting absolutely no good what so ever. He felt the blood drain from his face.

"That's okay," She giggled, "We can go get some." With that she grabbed Toushiro's hand and dragged him out of the room, "Towel-head and me are going to look for some candy, bye!" She waved at the other members and slid the door shut with more force than necessary.

The others stared after them.

Isane gave a weak cough, "Well it was nice meeting you cousin Rangiku, even if it was only for a few seconds..."

"Was it just me or did Yachiru really not want to be here today?" Kiyone asked hesitantly.

Nanao sighed, "She was complaining that this meeting was boring, Kaida was the first excuse she got to leave."

"You do know that you might not get her back, Rangiku?" Rukia observed.

Rangiku shook her head and plopped herself down on a cushion on the floor. "Nah, Kaida can take care of herself."

"This is Yachiru we are talking about..."

"... We'll check on them later." Rangiku waved her hand absentmindedly in the air, "Now what were we talking about?"

_Here we go again, you being dragged off into the unknown by a woman._ Hyourinmaru snickered.

_I hardly think that Kusajishi-Fukutaicho can be classified as a woman..._

_They're all intimidating no matter what size, master, get used to it._

He snorted at his dragon before turning his attention to the pink ball hauling him through the pathways of The Seireitei. He was basically tripping over himself trying to keep up with her while hunched over. Who knew that such a small girl could move so fast, everything was a blur as they passed.

"Where are we going, Kusajishi-Fukutaicho?" He asked. He was having this weird sense of déjà-vu right about now. (A/N: Hmm I wonder why that would be.)

"To get candy!" Yachiru squealed, making him wince and try to cover his ears, a hard thing to do when a three foot tall girl is dragging you along at a speed that should only be legal on a race track.

"Yes but where?"

All of a sudden she stopped. There was no warning, no sign of caution, she just stopped, talk about sharp breaks. Toushiro stumbled over his feet and glimpsed the smooth grey tiled floor before it came up to hit him in the face.

_Nice..._

Toushiro pushed himself into a sitting position rubbing his nose. Waraji and smooth tiles were not a good combination; they caused a definite lack of friction. He glared at Yachiru who was poised with a finger to her mouth and a thoughtful expression on her face.

"No idea."She said at length a huge smile plastered on her face much to Toushiro's annoyance. "Ukki usually has lots'n'lots of candy though."

Ukki? Ukitake most likely, the man did have an endless supply of candy up his sleeves. He sighed in remembrance of the countless times some of that candy had been forced upon him.

"Let's go – what are you doing down there Towel-head?" She looked honestly confused as to why Toushiro was sitting on the ground with a red nose.

He narrowed his eyes, "I wonder, and quit it with the Towel-head, that's not my name."

"Sure thing Towel-head!"

He scowled getting to his feet. No sooner had he done so than Yachiru had grabbed his arm again and dashed off. He sighed, at first he had been wondering if he would survive the day now he would just be content if he lasted the next hour.

("\(^.^)/")

Surprisingly Ukitake did not have any candy this time. He apologised to the small girl and gave Toushiro an odd yet amused look. Seriously, why was he gallivanting around The Seireitei with _Yachiru_ in search of candy?

"Hmmm I wonder who else would have candy." Yachiru asked thoughtfully her small arms folded across her chest intently considering the question.

Toushiro was doubled over leaning against a wall. The human, well Shinigami, body was not made to move that fast (without using shunpo). How the hell did Yachiru do that? Did she like swallow a gallon of red bull? Well, she had got her wings alright. He clutched a stitch in his side. They had made it almost halfway through The Seireitei to the 13th division in less than ten minutes. They had set a world record. But Toushiro could not care less all he wanted was to regain any bit of feeling back in his feet. He glanced at the pink haired fukutaicho, she bounced up and down happily, trying to figure out where next to go for candy. She did not seem even the slightest bit tired. He shook his head, there was just simply no way that someone could have _that_ much energy. She had to be like constantly high off caffeine or something. There she was simply radiating energy and then there he was gasping for oxygen.

"Byakkun May have." She announced happily after a moment's thought, "He always gives me snacks when I ask."

To stop you from bothering him, he grimaced at the little girl's ignorance. But wait, Bayakuya was in charge of the 6th division. The 6th division was a whole _seven _divisions away from where they were now. No way was he going all the way over there. His body could not take much more of this.

Come on Hitsugaya put that genius to use. How would he be able to stop her from blasting through the whole of The Seireitei with him in tow?

_Ukitake gave you a basket of chocolate last week, remember?_ Hyourinmau cut in, _It should still be in your office._

Toushiro breathed a sigh of relief, thank god now there was no need to go _all the way _to the 6th.

"Actually Kusajishi, I know a _closer_ place where you can get candy."

Her eyes lit up, "Where, where, where!"

Was she easily excitable or what? "... The 10th."

"You mean Shiro-chan, has candy?"

His eyebrow twitched, again with the blasted nicknames! Towel-head was bad enough but Shiro-chan? He absolutely hated that nickname, the bed-wetter could attest to that.

"I believe that _Hitsugaya-Taicho_ has some candy-"

He barely finished the sentence before Yachiru had dragged him off again. In no time at all his found himself in his office. Seriously, with Yachiru around who needed shunpo?

The said girl was stuffing her face with the chocolate he had produced from his desk. He sighed in relief and plopped himself down on the sofa massaging his aching feet. Now that Yachiru had her candy he could rest.

_I wouldn't think so if I were you._

_Why not?_

_Two words; sugar rush._

_...Oh damn it all to hell!_

"Kusajishi don't you think that that's enough candy for one-"

His words died in his throat as the slurped down the last of the fifteen chocolate bars. Oh shit. The pink haired girl grinned up at him a weird light in her eyes. She was fidgeting, not a good sign. A few more seconds and all hell was going to break loose and trample down his division. He began to tremble in fear. If he thought that Yachiru was bad before, well he was going to have some serious re-thinking to do, provided that he survived the afternoon of course.

Somebody help me! He screamed in his mind.

"Why do you look so scared Towel-head?" Yachiru asked innocently.

He swallowed, well at least she wasn't moving, yet.

"Are you sick?"

He will be soon.

"Do you need to use the bathroom? Because Kenny says that the bathroom cures all."

"... No I don't need to use the bathroom."

She smiled in an evil little girl way, "Good so you can play with me!"

"Play-"

Code red! Code red! Alarms had gone off in Toushiro's head; Yachiru had started to move.

"Piggy back!"

"What the hell get off of me, Kusajishi!"

"No!"

"Owww, stop pulling my ear!"

"But you make funny faces!"

"No! Don't touch those! They... were organised alphabetically..."

"Not anymore! You should try this Towel-head ripping paper is fun! Fun, fun, fun!"

"Ripping paper... Don't you dare do that Kusajishi! Ahhh..."

"Yay it's snowing!"

"... My precious paperwork...it's a-all g-gone."

"Look Towel-head, I made a tornado!"

"Stop this, this instant Kusajishi!"

"Oh, Towel-head is angry!"

"You damn well bet I am- Oww you just bit me!"

"Bleh, you taste bad."

"Don't spit on me! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!"

"Kusajishi, that book shelf is not made to be climbed on... and neither is that ... ceiling? Oh my god, get down from there now! You'll get hur-"

"Ouchie, my butt hurts!"

"I told you so..."

"Kiss it better Towel-head!"

"..."

After twenty minutes had passed Toushiro was near hysterics.

_Calm down, master, we'll get through this somehow._

Toushiro was trembling and his throat contracted painfully. _I can't do this Hyourinmaru, the paperwork... it's all gone._

_It's okay, master, it's okay... don't you dear loose it on me Hitsugaya!_

_I – I – I – I – I can't do thiiiiisssssssss!_ He wailed. Toushiro was at breaking point. He was panicking, he was hyperventilating, he was flustered, and he was terrified, he was almost at tears for crying out loud (though he wasn't doing _that_ just yet).

Yachiru was like a pink tornado of doom and destruction. He had given up trying to calm her down and watched helplessly as she demolished his office, showing no interest in leaving the room. That could have been a good thing, as the rest of his division was relatively safe. But he was all alone in a half destructed office with a crazy little girl high off chocolate.

"Towel-head, why do you have that towel on your head?"

Oh no. He backed away his eyes going wide, "S-stay away from me Kusajishi."

She leapt at him knocking him over into the small coffee table in the middle of the room. He landed on it hard, gasping in pain. Oh shit, it broke, it broke, it broke! He glanced over his shoulder at the pile of splinters that used to be called a table then back at Yachiru. A yell formed in his throat.

"Kusajishi- Ooowww what the hell! Let go!"

The girl's tiny claws, yes claws because digits that sharp could not be classified as fingers, dug in to his scalp. Tears formed at the edge of his eyes. She ripped off the scarf form his head pulling a few white strands in the process. Double shit! If anyone came in he would be screwed in every possible way.

"Give that back!"

Yachiru had tied the scarf around her neck like a cape and was running in circles making zooming noises and laughing maniacally. "Look I'm _super_ cat-girl! Evil beware!"

Evil beware? That girl was the very definition of evil!

"This is no joke, Kusajishi, give that back!"

Ever tried arguing with a five year old that was high off of chocolate, caffeine, and possibly crack? Neither had Toushiro, hence why he did not know that it would not work. The pink haired monstrosity just stuck her tongue out at him and ran faster.

Coming up with no other alternative he dove at the girl. He managed to grab hold of her and grab the scarf away from her. Unfortunately, it was still attached to her when he grabbed it; the effect was like a rubber band. She came crashing into him knocking him over as he head a sick, ripping noise. Still in the part of 'cat-girl' she clawed at his face. "Let go of me you fiend! Cat-girl destroys all evil!"

"Augh, Kusajishi, stop this!" He pushed her off him and scrambled away holding the ripped shreds of his scarf.

_Toushiro run, get your little butt out of here now! Look at what she did to your face, you're bleeding!_

_I – i -it's just a few scratches... Hyourinmaru, I'm scared. _(A/N/: don't ever give Yachiru 15 bars of chocolate.)

_Me too, master. I suggest you get to the door now and call for help._

_B-but my hair..._

_You're safety is more important at the moment. At least leave until she calms down._

He edged closer to the door watching Yachiru as she attempted to climb the book shelves for the tenth time in half an hour. Suddenly she turned, spying him heading to the door.

"Where are you going Towel-head? Can I come? Can I, can I please! Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

Toushiro froze like a deer caught in the headlights. How he wished that Matsumoto was with him at the moment. Maybe she would know how to tranquilize a sugar-high Yachiru. Heck, he wished that anyone was here right now.

The door slowly slid open. Oh thank god! His prayers were finally answered. About time too, he turned to the door.

"K-kaida," Yuichi stood in the doorway, "What's going on here? You're bleeding!"

Oh damn.

"Oooo, another person to play with!"

"Takahashi, get the hell out of here now, if you value your life."

"What's going on-"

"We have a sugar high Yachiru on our hands and your asking what's wrong?"

"Just calm her down; it'll were off soon enough."

"But can you survive until that 'soon enough'?"

Yuichi looked at her oddly before shaking his head, "You're not very good with children are you?"

Toushiro glared at Yachiru, who had taken to pirouetting while singing 'Mary had a little lamb' on the top of her voice, then to Yuichi.

"Do something Takahashi!"

The boy just smiled, "Look she's calming down already."

Oddly enough Yachiru's movements were getting sluggish, and soon she plopped down onto the floor her eyes beginning to droop. Toushiro stared at her bewildered.

Whether it was from relief, exhaustion or from the imbalance of hormones due to the potion he collapsed... right into Yuichi's arms.

("\(^.^)/")

Rangiku entered the office two hours later. The meeting had been a success, they had come up with a new plan to raise funds and this one was sure to work this time. Smiling she slid open the door to the 10th division office. Her smile froze and she let out a loud gasp at what she saw.

Ripped pieces of paper were littered all over the floor and the coffee table was broken, one leg smashed into splinters. But what caught her attention almost right away were the three people sitting on the couch.

Yuichi, Toushiro and Yachiru were all sprawled in various positions. Yachiru was humming quietly while colouring on a piece of paper. Yuichi was sitting next to her watching her silently his left hand absentmindedly stroking the white head of... a sleeping Toushiro? Rangiku's hands flew to her mouth. She stared in awe at the spectacle before her. Toushiro was fast asleep, his head resting in Yuichi's lap, his head scarf nowhere to be seen.

"Yuichi-kun, Yachiru." She exclaimed upon entering.

The two looked up at her from their positions on the couch. Toshiro stirred a little.

"Yay, Big-boobies is back!"The pink haired girl squealed, "I had so much fun with Towel-head and Yui-chan!"

She blond woman looked at the odd trio, "Really now, what did you do?"

"Towel-head gave me chocolate."

Oh, well that spoke for itself. She shook her head, what had Toushiro been thinking, giving her sugar?

She turned to Yuichi, "How bad was it?"

The boy glanced at the sleeping Toushiro in his lap, "Well, Kaida was almost in hysterics when I came, but Yachiru eventually calmed down. She fainted not long afterwards, shock or exhaustion maybe."

Rangiku smiled gently thinking that only something like this could happen to her Taicho. He was a genius in some areas i.e. fighting and strategizing but he was not a people person.

"Yachiru?"

The small girl looked up from her colouring with a bright grin.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to Zaraki-Taicho? I'm sure he'll be looking for you right now."

"Oh yeah Kenny! Bye-bye Big-boobies and Yui-chan. Tell Towel-head when she wakes up thanks for the candy. Oh and I'm coming to play with her tomorrow too!"

With that she jumped up and left the room giggling happily. Rangiku sighed and watched the girl go. Was she really that ignorant to all the trouble she had caused? Toushiro was probably traumatised for life now.

"Um, Lieutenant Matsumoto?"

She turned back to the other two. "Yes Yuichi-kun?"

"I, well, I, it's a stupid question really, never mind."

"There's no such thing as a stupid question, let me hear it."

He blushed slightly then looked down at Toushiro, still sleeping soundly. "I, well... is it natural? Her hair I mean?"

Rangiku was caught off guard by the question. Was their cover blown? Did Yuichi suspect something? She hoped to dear god that he would not equate the white hair to Hitsugaya-Taicho.

"... No it's natural." She replied hesitantly.

The boy smiled, "Good. 'Cause I can't imagine Kaida bleaching her hair."

She smiled also, because she could not do the same for her Taicho. She cocked her head; maybe the white hair was not so much of a giveaway after all. She prayed to dear god that it wasn't. Could being female be disguise enough? Boy were people dense or what? She could imagine her Taicho shaking his head in frustration at other's lack of intellect.

... Speaking of Taicho... was that the paperwork on the ground ripped to shreds? She made a mental note to make herself scarce when he woke up.

* * *

**Soooooooooo how was it? I think I've made my own catch phrase xD**

**I am honestly starting to feel sorry for Toushiro... but the sadist in me wont give up *sigh*.**

**Oh and for the next chapter I would really appreciate if you readers could tell me your favourtie female Shinigamis.**

**Of course review, as always.**

**-Mymomomo**


	10. We all fall down

**And now the long awaited for chapter 10 ( really sorry for the slow update -_-' I apologise... **you'll get the joke later on.**) **

**("\(^.^)/")Yay the big one oh! ("\(^.^)/")**

**So in celebration of finally reaching double digits I've decided to add another twist into the story one that you, yes that's you readers, can actively take part in xDDD you just have to read the story to find out what it is ^^**

**Disclaimer: Kubo Tite in disguise people, because he has nothing better to do than to write a fanfiction when he can write the real thing.**

**Now on with 10th chapter celebrations *cue confetti **

**

* * *

**

The story is under here.

* * *

"Hey Taicho," Matsumoto chirped from her desk, her brushed poised in mid air. Toushiro sighed; her brush seemed to be doing that a lot, but at least she was attempting to do the paperwork for once.

"Yes, Matsumoto what is it?"

She twirled a lock of hair around her index finger, "Can you do me a favour?"

He glanced up at her for a split second, "No."

"But you didn't even listen to what I was going to say." She pulled on a pitiful pout in an effort to win him over.

"I'm not giving you the afternoon off, Matsumoto. The most I'll do for you at the moment is help you finfish that pile on your desk. And watch that brush, I don't want it dripping ink all over that file."

"Thanks Taicho," She grinned and split the stack of paperwork in two then pulled the smaller one towards her. "But that wasn't what I wanted."

Toushiro decided to ignore his lieutenant and concentrate on the form in his hands. He was able to enjoy a few moments' silence before Matsumoto decided to speak again.

"Aren't you going to ask what I wanted?"

He sighed, "No, just finfish your paperwork, Matsumoto."

"But Taicho."

"I don't want to hear it, now be quiet and do your work."

She huffed and frowned at him. But oh no, she did not stop there, her name was Rangiku Matsumoto for a reason, and Rangiku Matsumoto was not a quitter or easily deterred.

"The Shinigami Women's' Association is holding a fundraiser."

The white haired boy (girl) sighed, "I thought I said-"

"And I wanted you to take part in it."

Pause. Toushiro blinked unsure if he had actually heard what Matsumoto had said. No, wait, he had heard it, he just could not comprehend it. She wanted him to take part in a fund raiser for the Shinigami _Women's _Association? There was no way in hell. There was absolutely no way in hell that he was going to do that, downright mentally and physically degrading and possibly painful thing, whatever it was. He glared at the blond woman.

"No."

"It'll be fun Taicho, a chance for you to make friends."

The tick in his eyebrow was back again. "Find somebody else, I'm not interested. Why are you so interested in my social life, anyway? Frankly I find it very annoying so please stop it this instant."

She shook her head, "No something has to be in existence before I can take an interest in it, and your social life is next to inexistent. Think of it as a way to-"

"I said no."

She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. Toushiro rolled his eyes and went back to the paperwork. That woman could be so annoying most of the times. Did she really believe that he would partake in anything the Shinigami Women's Association wanted to do? He would have to be stone drunk before he did something like that. He did not even want to be part of the Men's Association much less for the Women's. She had got her answer; a big fat no. He felt her eyes boring a hole into his bent head. He could tell that she was not going to let this one drop like that, and he was not going to give in. His self standing had already taken enough blows as it was and the SWA's fundraisers were always very flamboyant to put it mildly.

Almost five minutes passed and Toushiro was beginning to feel very uncomfortable under his lieutenant's harsh gaze. Her eyes had not left him for one second.

"Matsumoto, I'm sure that the top of my head is not that interesting. Get back to work."

"I'm not going to touch a piece of paperwork until you listen to what I have to say." She continued to glare at him.

It was not as if she touched the paperwork anyway unless he threatened her with death or took away her sake. But her help was always welcome, even if it was very little.

He raised a white eyebrow and looked over to her, "How about you finish that pile then I'll _consider_ listening to what you have to say?"

She weighed the options in her mind then nodded and went back to work. Toushiro shook his head as he watched her almost diligently fill out the file in her hands (key word: almost). Her long fingers flitted across the page dancing with the brush. Now how was he supposed to get her to do that on a daily basis? She was the only member in his division that could even dream of slacking off their work. He briefly wondered how she did it. Somehow all her work found its way onto his shoulders (and desk). He was too lenient, but yet he could not imagine himself being strict with her. All his sternness would just bounce off.

_Hey, concentrate on that form, Toushiro, if you mess it up you'll have to do it all over again._ Hyourinmaru's voice rang out inside his head.

The boy jumped slightly and looked down at the paper. Sure enough he was about to sign his name in the wrong place. He sighed, Matsumoto was distracting him again, she was able to do so by not even doing anything. He paused, something was terribly wrong there.

_ Good call, Hyourinmaru._

The dragon nodded in response. The only reason that Toushiro was able to stand working on paperwork for such long hours was because of the dragon. Surprisingly, while he was working Hyourinmaru actually helped him. He prevented the boy from daydreaming too often and strange enough he was good with numbers.

For the next ten minutes the office's two occupants sat in a relatively comfortable silence. A cool wind blew in form the open windows carrying the scent of fresh grass. The only noises that could be heard were the scratching of their brushes against the papers and the occasional rustle of tree leaves. Toushiro picked up his cup of now warm green tea and took a sip. He was already halfway through his pile; it would only take him around two more hours to finish the rest. Then he would be free... after finishing the rest of Matsumoto's pile.

_It's your own fault for offering to do it for her. _Hyourinmaru noted.

_I thought that she was going to weasel out of doing the whole thing. I tried to compromise._

_The one time you try to compromise it ends up like this; you with more work._

_Shut up._

_I'm merely stating facts. What time is Yuichi coming by the way?_

Toushiro groaned, _I forgot about him, at lunch time. He said something about going out to eat._

_Oh a lunch-date!_

_It is nothing of the sort. He is simply taking me out to eat as an apology for laughing at me yesterday._

Yesterday Toushiro had woken up in the boy's lap. More shocked than embarrassed he had back peddled and fell off the couch, landing unceremoniously on the floor with a loud thud. He had done that so fast that neither Matsumoto nor Yuichi had realised he had woken up until they heard him hit the floor. Barely concealing his laughter the brown haired boy had had the audacity to pick him up and place him back on the couch like he was a little child. He had almost kicked the boy out of the office right then and there. The only thing that stopped him was his stomach growling, adding to his embarrassment. Yuichi had grinned then apologised (not for picking him up, mind you, but for causing him to fall off the couch in the first place, I know, the absurdity.) then invited him to lunch the next day (all thanks to his overly active stomach). Matsumoto had accepted the invitation on his behalf.

_Well this is one hell of an apology._

_It's not like he's taking me to dinner or anything. _

_Your right, it's then you should be worrying._

"Done!"

Toushiro put his conversation with Hyourinmaru on a hold when Matsumoto's voice resounded throughout the office.

"What? There's no way that you could have done all of that so fast."

She grinned at him, "Well, I'm finished and that means that you have to listen to me."

He scowled at her. Trust Matsumoto to finish her paperwork in record time because of an ulterior motive. But he did promise her, and he never went back on his word.

"Fine, Matsumoto go ahead."

She laced her fingers together and propped her chin on them, staring at her Taicho with a playful glint in her cool blue eyes. "What do you know about beauty pageants, Taicho?"

He raised an eyebrow not liking where this was going one bit. "Nothing much except that it is a way that women can further degrade themselves and succumb to becoming slaves of this so called 'beauty'. I'm not interested Matsumoto."

"You always find a way to suck out the joy from everything, Taicho. It's a competition where women can show off their style, talents and fashion sense."

He rolled his eyes, "And your point is Matsumoto?"

"The SWA is going to host a beauty pageant as a fund raiser!" He winced at the almost deafening squeal she had risen to. "It was Kiyone's idea originally she got the idea from the world of the living, I think it is brilliant. It's bound to make a ton of money!"

He shook his head. Of course it would make a lot of money. The majority of the population of the Seireitei was male. Males who would not reject the idea of watching women parade on stage in sheer evening dresses and skimpy swimming suites. In fact they would welcome it with open arms, he was sure of it. But did Matsumoto really want him to take part in such a thing? He was the last person he would think of to do so.

"And you need my help in all of this because?"

She smiled gently at him. His stomach churned uncomfortably and that was not because he was hungry.

"I was hoping that you would be a contestant..."

He clutched his brush so tightly when he heard that that he almost broke it in half. He stared at his lieutenant for a full minute. "Wait, let me get this straight. You want me to take part in a beauty pageant as one of the contestants?"

She nodded cheerfully.

Toushiro actually chuckled a bit. He shook his head slowly as if shooing a fly from on top of his forehead. "No."

"But why? It would be a great opportunity for you."

"Or a chance for you to show off your 'new cousin'? I will not lower myself to that level Matsumoto. If I am to be female I at least want to be one with dignity, not some air head supermodel with a pretty face."

"You already have the pretty face though." She sighed, "I didn't actually expect you to agree to this, Taicho, but you have to admit that if you really were my cousin I would be showing you of at every chance I got, people would expect that of me. It was worth a try though. We'll be discussing this further in the next SWA meeting."

He shook his head, "You can tell them in advance that I won't be taking part in it."

"What I tell them and what they actually hear are two different things, Taicho. At least half of them wanted you to take part in it."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but that won't be happening."

Matsumoto sent him a knowing, sly smile, "We'll just see how that turns out, Taicho."

He snorted a beauty pageant? Who did they think he was? Like he, Hitsugaya-Taicho, would ever be caught dead taking part in something like that (metaphorically speaking). No way. He went back to the forms on his desk.

_Beauty pageant huh?_

_One that I will have nothing to do with._

_Keep telling yourself that. If I know some of those women, you better watch out. _

_Do they really expect me to do something like that? _

_I wouldn't mind, it would definitely be a break from routine. And plus you are a 'Matsumoto' now, and we all know that Matsumoto would dive at an opportunity like this one. _

_Can you seriously imagine me parading around a stage in a dress, or a swimming suit? If that isn't degrading I don't know what is._

_I can imagine and it would be a wonderful sight... damn sexy if I may say so myself._

Toushiro felt himself blush; _I came to the wrong person for sympathy didn't I?_

_Mmm, just opening new doors for you Toushiro, don't reject the idea completely. And if you want sympathy, here comes Yuichi, he'll give you anything as long as you ask... now that I think of it, damn he's whipped. _

Toushiro rolled his eyes at the dragon's comment as he recognised Takahashi's spiritual pressure drawing near to the office. Matsumoto seemed to notice this too she perked up and motioned to Toushiro.

"Come over here Taicho."

Curious he raised an eyebrow and stared at her.

She let out a harsh breath. "Your hair," she explained digging in her desk for some instrument of pain or some other. "At least let me brush it since you don't have your scarf."

"Thanks to Kusajishi and I am going to get a new one as soon as I can, but my hair is fine how it is thank you very much."

"Sure, if you want to be mistaken for an abused mop. Please let's not start this again Taicho, your going on a date you should look presentable."

His eyebrow twitched, "It is not a date, and I wish that you people would refrain from calling it that."

"If it's not a date then what is it?"

"It's... it's ... a lunch meeting, I don't know. Leave me alone."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Toushiro leapt to the couch as Matsumoto called out, "Come in."

The white haired boy tried to look like he was occupied and had not just scrambled away from his desk. The door slid open to reveal the brown haired Shinigami looking slightly nervous.

"Good afternoon Yuichi-kun." Matsumoto sang form her desk.

"Ah, good afternoon Lieutenant Matsumoto, Kaida." He stumbled into the room. Toushiro winced at the boy's clumsiness, especially as he knew the boy was not usually clumsy.

"Takahashi." He nodded, acknowledging his presence.

Matsumoto was smiling so wide that her cheeks looked like they were no longer part of her face. She glanced from Toushiro to Yuichi with an amused expression in addition to her smile. Toushiro glared at her mentally daring her to say something like they made a cute couple or something else along those lines. He knew she was thinking it, and he knew that she knew that he knew she was thinking it. (A/N: that's a lot of knows in that sentence.)

Matsumoto just shook her head and walked over to him on the couch, a hairbrush barely concealed behind her back. Toushiro sighed, could you spell determination? M-a-t-s-u-m-o-t-o.

"So are you ready Kaida?" Yuichi asked twiddling his thumbs behind his back.

"One second Yuichi-kun," Matsumoto answered for him." She's not going anywhere looking like that."

Toushiro rolled his eyes; it was funny how Matsumoto always took the wheel when it came to him answering Yuichi's questions.

_She just doesn't want you to mess it up, your relationship with Yuichi that is._ Hyourinmaru noted.

_How would I mess it up anyway?_

_You're not a people person. You'd find a way, trust me, you would find a way._

"I don't see anything wrong with her..." Yuichi murmured titling his head to a side.

"Thank you Takahashi, see Matsumoto there's nothing wrong."

"He's a man he'll always say that even if you actually look appalling." She dragged the brush through his hair ignoring his further protests.

("\(^.^)/")

The pair left the 10th division office fifteen minutes later. Toushiro's shoulder length hair now in a messy, low pony tail, Matsumoto had practically given up when she realised that the top of his hair would not lie flat.

"Serves her right," Toushiro mumbled, "She shouldn't have tried to brush it in the first place."

Yuichi laughed, "She was just looking out for you Kaida."

"It's annoying that's what it is."

_It's not her fault that you have naturally messy hair. _Hyourinmaru interjected.

_She shouldn't have tried to brush it, I have a headache now._

"Why did you cover your hair at first?" Yuichi asked suddenly. Toushiro glanced at him. "I mean with that scarf."

"I-I didn't want to draw attention to myself." Well it was part of the truth; he really did not want people to equate his white hair to Hitsugaya-Taicho. That was the last thing he needed at the moment; "Hey Hitsugaya-Taicho, why are you a girl?" yeah that would definitely go down well.

"It's not that bad, I know a few people who have white hair and wear it proudly. There's Ukitake-Taicho, and of course Hitsugaya-Taicho. Kotetsu-Fukutaicho has silver hair and that's kind of the similar. Oh and Sasakibe-Fukutaicho has white hair too, if anything I think it looks pretty... your hair I mean not Sasakibe-Fukutaicho's." He scratched the back of his neck a blush spreading on his face.

Toushiro could not help but smile and shake his head. The boy was way too caring. He did not remember saying that he was ashamed of his hair, but yet Yuichi was trying to build up his self-esteem.

_Aww that's so sweet. _Hyourinmaru cooed. _Now it's your turn to say something nice to him._

"Thanks, Takahashi."

The dragon sighed, _Well, it's a start._

Yuichi lead Toushiro to a street with a few food stalls. It was nothing too extravagant. He inwardly rejoiced that Yuichi had decided to go casual rather than take him to a five star restaurant or other, like they were going on an actual date. This way he could convince himself that this excursion was nothing more than a meal with a friend.

_Oh using that term are we now?_

_Well, I guess I can consider him a friend now. He hasn't given me any room to doubt him has he?_

_My little Shiro-chan is growing up! He made a friend, I'm so proud!_

_Shut up you moron. You talk like I have no friends at all._

_... Name one._

_What? _

_Name someone that you truly consider you friend. Matsumoto and Momo not included._

_... I... well...um..._

_My point exactly._

_I have acquaintances though._

_What are acquaintances, besides people who you occasionally talk to?_

"Um Kaida?"

He snapped back to reality when he heard Yuichi's voice.

"Yes Takahashi?"

"You're daydreaming again. I asked you what you would like to eat." He regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh sorry about that, some annoying lizard distracted me."

_Hey!_

Toushiro quickly scanned the rows of food stalls, "How about ramen?" He suggested shrugging.

Yuichi nodded. In less than five minutes the pair was seated at a small table and had already placed their orders. Toushiro had chosen beef while Yuichi had opted for pork. The ramen stand was hot and slightly crowded, they had been lucky to find a free table. The mouth-watering aroma of cooking ramen caused Toushiro's stomach to churn in anticipation of his meal. The loud hum of people conversing and cooking utensils clanking together was too loud to be comfortable. But it was lunch time and people had a reason to be louder than normal, as the saying goes a hungry man is an angry man, and angry men tend to be loud.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Yuichi said trying to strike up a conversation as they waited for their food.

Toushiro rolled his eyes, that was obviously not the right way to go, "Don't worry about that, it's okay, it wasn't even your fault.'

"But still-"

"Do you plan on apologising for everything you do? Because frankly it's starting to get on my nerves."

Worry spread in his hazel eyes, "I'm sor-"

Toushiro sent him a sharp glance. He hung his head.

"Sor- it's a reflex I apologise."

He stared at the boy before shaking his head, "We really need to work on that Takahashi, you are too unsure about yourself."

"I'm-"

Toushiro held up a hand silencing the boy, "How about we try to make it through the rest of the day without you saying 'I'm sorry'."

He scratched the back of his neck observing Toushiro with bewilderment.

"What? Was it something I said?"

"No I'm so- ah, never mind, I'll try."

Toushiro smirked and sat back in his chair, "Good."

Not long afterwards their food was brought to them and neither wasted any time in digging in.

"If you don't mind me asking Kaida, why was Yachiru in the office yesterday?"

"... She dragged me out of a SWA meeting yesterday to look for candy. As you can see that did not work out to well."

Yuichi laughed hesitantly, "Oh yeah, she's the president right?"

Toushiro shook his head, "I wonder how that even happened, Ise is a much better candidate, that much is blatantly obvious."

He smiled through a mouthful of noodles and swallowed with a big gulp. "So what's on the agenda for the next fund raiser?"

Toushiro cocked his head, it was not big surprise that he knew that the SWA was planning something, they were _always _planning something. But he surely could not be interested in that.

"...A beauty pageant." He stated tentatively.

Yuichi's head shot up, his eyebrows disappeared into his mop of brown hair, "A beauty Pageant?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, and they want me of all people to take part in it." He paused, why did he just tell Yuichi that? He did not normally reveal information that had anything to do with himself, so why did he just say that? Okay so he did feel somewhat at ease around the boy, he was certainly easy to talk to.

_I smell developing feelings!_

_No, you don't I've already told you that I do not consider Takahashi in that way._

_But admit it you do have a soft spot for the boy._

_Well... he's nice I guess._

Yuichi stared at him incredulously, "They want you to take part in a beauty pageant?"

"I know," Toushiro exclaimed. Hyourinmaru had been right, Yuichi would be sympathetic. He smiled inwardly. "Can you imagine _me _in a beauty pageant?"

The brown haired boy blushed a bit and his familiar goofy smile made its way onto his face again. Toushiro did not like that, not in the slightest. His reaction was not the one he had been expecting.

"Actually I can Kaida.

"What!"

"You do look the part, you are very pretty." He blushed crimson as he said this, "One of the prettiest women in the entire Seireitei, in my opinion." (A/N: would you like some crackers with that cheese?) He almost whispered the last part. His face was so red that it looked like he threatening to explode, or practicing to become a lobster. Immediately after speaking he stared intently at his half-finished bowl of ramen, as if it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

Toushiro was in complete shock. His chop sticks were frozen two inches away from his open mouth. The noodles had slipped back into the bowl but he did not seem to notice. His mind was threatening to shut down at Yuichi's words. He had no idea how to respond to that. Both his mind and his body had chosen to acquire major degrees in statuism, the study of statues. (A/N: I just made up that word up don't go googling it or anything.) But oddly enough, when his mind did decide to work, he began to feel embarrassment. Yes that was odd, because here he was a guy, albeit a guy in a girl's body, who had just been dubbed one of the prettiest women in the whole of The Seireitei by another guy. Instead of feeling insulted or angry he felt _embarrassed_. Well, it was not _embarrassed_, embarrassed, he realised as he dissected the emotion, but rather that 'compliment' had made him feel shy. Shy as in shy, like a four year old girl who had received a compliment on her new yellow dress. A blush spread upon his cheeks after around five minutes of contemplating what Yuichi had just said.

It took him another five minutes before he could speak again and even then it came out as a horse whisper. "Th-thanks."

_The boy is smitten by you. That's the old way of saying he's totally whipped. And that is slang for he's madly in love with You, Toushiro._

_He's not supposed to be! How do I make him stop?_

_It's simple actually. You can't._

_I can't deal with this now, Hyourinmaru. I don't like him in that way, I can't like him in that way, and he shouldn't like me in this way either. What do I do, now? He may as well have proposed rather than have said that! Ugh, why do things like this always happen to me?_

_There's this old Saying, master, heed it well. Life's a bitch. You can't do anything about it... you could ask Matsumoto for advice though, she is good with stuff like this._

_I never thought that the day would come when I would be asking Matsumoto how to make someone stop liking me. The end is near Hyourinmaru._

The dragon just chuckled, _So you may think. But I suggest you pay attention to Yuichi now, he's been talking to you for the past three minutes._

_Oh shi-, thanks for the heads up!_ He quickly tuned out of his inner world.

"... This ramen's actually pretty good."

"Hmm... oh yeah." Toushiro stared in to his bowl; suddenly he did not feel so hungry anymore. He knew that Takahashi had a crush on kaida, but actually hearing him say that out loud was like a cup of coffee. It snapped him out of the morning haze into the thick of the problem of hand. How was he supposed to curb his feelings for him without totally destroying the boy? He lacked in self-confidence and Toushiro knew that rejection from a crush would only be an insult to injury. So how the hell was he supposed to do this? He twirled a couple noodles around in the brown liquid. Never before had he, Hitsugaya-Taicho, been stumped in such a way before, he always had answer to anything, and now that he did not, he did not like it at all.

"You're not hungry anymore?" Yuichi asked concerned.

Toushiro glanced up at the boy only to find out that he was not quite ready to do that just yet. He lowered his gaze back to the ramen. "I'm kind of full." He lied.

Yuichi cocked his head, "You don't eat much do you."

Toushiro slowly shook his head."

"You better not be anorexic."

"Don't worry I'm not, the furthest thing from it actually. I... I just don't have much of an appetite today." Well not anymore.

Just then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Thinking it was Takahashi he let it stay afraid to shrug it off lest he hurt the boy.

"My, my, I've always wanted a woman this beautiful at my side."

Toushiro's head snapped up and he glared over his shoulder at a gangly Shinigami with short red-brown hair. He growled deep in this throat. These people did not know when to quit. He harshly shrugged the hand off his shoulder sending a nasty scowl in the man's general direction. He was so not in the mood for this. Suddenly he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his shoulders and draw him into a chest. He went ridged his eyes widened.

"Ta-Takahashi?"

The brown haired boy's arms tightened protectively around Toushiro's shoulders and he glanced down at him a small smile on his lips. Toushiro's mind drew blank. No this could not be happening, he tough Yuichi was shy. He stuttered on every other word for crying out loud. Where did all these sudden bursts of confidence come from?

Yuichi turned to the tall man a hint of disgust and possessiveness flashed across his hazel eyes.

"Well, you'll have to find another one, because she's mine."

Toushiro's breath caught in his chest. It was like he had swallowed a large, metal ball and it had settled in his stomach showing no inclination what so ever of leaving. No! This was not supposed to happen. How the hell did Takahashi fall in love with him?

He felt a bitter, sinking feeling spread across his chest as Yuichi's words chased themselves around in his mind.

She's mine...mine... mine... mine...

("\(^.^)/")

Toushiro banged the office door open; he was trembling from head to toe. He had left the ramen stand as quickly as he could and had divested himself of the brown haired boy near the squad barracks. He needed a cool glass of water, he needed a long rest, he needed-

"Matsumoto, we need to talk!"

* * *

**Would this be considered a cliff hanger? Oh well hehe you'll just have to wait to see what happens next.**

**And now for the part of the story that you, yes YOU can decide on. Yes its the Miss Seireitei beauty pageant.**

**-you get to choose the contestants**

**-you get to choose the judges**

**-you get to choose the talents **

**-and you get to choose the WINNERS **(*****terms and conditions apply)

**to cast your vote click the button below.* hint hint review***

**Yes I'm actually serious about this. Wait for it Wait for it... ehem I NEED YOUR HELP! or the Miss Seireitei competition will be a flop and the SWA will kill me T-T**

**-Mymomomo**


	11. Slowly spiraling downwards

**Chapter 11 ! **

**this honestly wasn't my favourite chapter to write -_-' but without further ado I present to you 'Slowly spiraling downwards'**

**oh and thank you to all those who reviewed with names for the MS competition xD **

* * *

"Matsumoto we need to talk!"

The words died in his throat, though, as he took in the empty office. Of course she would no longer be in there. It was after two, her normal time to ditch work and go drinking. Great, just great. Now what was he supposed to do? Toushiro slowly entered the office and sat down on the couch. The world felt like it was spinning while he was standing still. He placed his head into his hands and lightly tugged on his hair. What was he supposed to do now? All of this was just too much; he had no idea how to tackle it at all. How was he supposed to stop someone from loving him, as odd as that sounded? He had never before found himself in such a situation; a situation where the word 'love' was involved in such a context. What the hell was he supposed to do?

Yuichi was not the one at fault he did not know that he was a guy, that he was his Taicho, and that he had no way of ever returning his feelings. Toushiro tugged harder at his hair, he was frustrated, aggravated, annoyed and most of all worried, scared even. Just what was he supposed to do? He could not, or rather would not, bring himself to harm Takahashi in that way, and neither could he tell him the true reason why he could not return his feelings. What was he supposed to do?

_Stop thinking of what you are supposed to do but rather think of what you want to do. This is not a duty Toushiro, but a matter of the heart, do what you feel like. _The rare wise words of his dragon were well appreciated. Hyourinmaru was curled up in a ball, like a cat, his red eyes peeking out over his tail.

_But that's just it I don't know what I should do..._

_Not should do, want to do._

_I don't _want_ to do anything! I _have_ to! I have to do something or Yuichi will think I like him and, if I do do something... I don't even know what to do!_ Toushiro did not notice that his hands had fisted in his own hair and were now painfully pulling it out from the roots.

The dragon sighed heavily, _We're at this time in life, Toushiro, we have to make choices none of which the outcome seems appealing. It's just like if you were on the battle field and you had to sacrifice something in order to gain or protect another._

_You're telling me to... to either hurt Takahashi or expose my true identity?_

_It's inevitable._

_No it's not! There's another way I know there is! There has to be, there just has to be._

_And if so what would happen when you change back? When you are no longer female and cannot possibly continue to fool Yuichi? _He raised his head tilting it to the side slightly.

_Oh so I'm fooling him now am I? With what am I fooling him, Hyourinmaru, my friendship! _He let go of his hair and had balled his hands into fists his nails digging into his palms. He felt his chest constrict and he bit his bottom lip.

_No, Toushiro-_

'_Cause that's what I feels like! It's all a lie, who am I kidding I'm not Kaida and that's who Takahashi expects me to be!_

_Toushiro..._

_I can't return his feelings and when I don't he will want to know why... and... I can't tell him that either. This is so frustrating, not knowing what to do._ He subconsciously fisted the fabric of his hakama, pulling the fabric taut at the knees.

_You can't always be in control of the situation, remember that Toushiro. _

_I like being in control. This... this is just-_

_Toushiro, you want me to tell you what to do. I cannot do that._

_But-_

_You seek counsel from me as well but all I can tell you is don't do anything that you are sure to regret later. We'll take this slowly, together, and come up with the best solution, okay? Maybe Yuichi is simply infatuated with you. _He made a shrugging movement with his tail.

_Maybe he's not, I don't know, Hyourinmaru, you know I'm not one to play by ear. I just wish that none of this ever happened, that I never changed into a girl, that I never met Takahashi, and that I never went to lunch with him. _Toushiro closed his eyes briefly and took a few calming breaths. _Hyourinmaru how do I deal with this?_

The dragon sighed again, _I don't know, master, I don't know._

It was the first time in Toushiro's life that he had known Hyourinmaru not to have an answer. Frankly it was quite unnerving, he did not like it one bit, and as far as he could see neither did the dragon.

("\(^.^)/")

Toushiro never did get a chance to talk to Matsumoto before the next day he was at his desk diligently filling out the endless supply of forms. He had not in fact left the office since yesterday. After his long conversation with his inner sprit he had decided to work on the rest of that day's paperwork. He did not get very far as his mind kept wondering to a certain brown haired hazel eyed Shinigami of his own division. His worn out mind could not take all of the worrying he was forcing it to do, along with the paperwork, and it had shut down only after three hours of attempted work. He had woken up the next day slouched over in his desk with a horrible crick in his neck, and a foot tall stack of still unfinished paperwork in front of him.

_Well that's what you get for falling asleep while at a desk._

_You say that like it was my fault in the first place._

_Oh forgive me; were the matters of the heart too much for your poor little soul to deal with?_

_... What happened to the comforting, caring, actually helpful dragon of yesterday?_

_He's on vacation. I swear one of these days, Toushiro, if you don't get a good night's sleep soon I will personally knock you out so you do!_

_I slept fine last night, and you don't have to chew me out if you're the one who's grouchy due to lack of sleep!_

_Slept well he says, or did you forget about all the moaning you were doing in your so called sleep? You were twisting and turning in ways that I never knew were possible in a chair, it's a wonder that you only woke up with a crick in your neck! Was it nightmares again, master?_

_I don't know, most probably._ He hung his head. He had had a nightmare and he did not even recall it. That was pathetic. He should not, no, could not let his emotions get the better of him. He was a Shinigami after all and Shinigami were not supposed to have emotions. _ I'm sorry for keeping you awake, Hyourinmaru._

The great dragon sighed. Toushiro spied him stretching his wings in his inner world and he opened his colossal jaws and let out a yawn that would drown out thunder. _No, there's no need to be sorry, I know that you dream when something's wrong, it was expected. And for these past five days something has definitely been wrong. All this drama with you being female and having your first crush, or rather being crushed on. But to be honest, I've been waiting for this for a long time now. My little Shiro-chan's growing up; he's having problems with his first romance and has come to me to help him, though I always did imagine the roots of your problems to be a girl. But unfortunate circumstances have proved me otherwise; still love is love, I'm so proud of you, master._

_You just had to go and kill the mood saying something like that didn't you?_

_But of course, it was expected of me._

Toushiro just rolled his eyes at the dragon's antics. Hyourinmaru was like a rubber ball; he always bounced back, and just so happened to hit Toushiro in the face when he did it, so to speak.

("\(^.^)/")

"Yamamoto-Soutaicho has agreed to let us host the Miss Seireitei beauty pageant. It will be held two months from now." Nanao announced pushing her glasses up her nose. (A/N: Nanao needs a new pair of glasses, those ones keep on falling down... oh and Toushiro changes back in three months so the two month gap should be appropriate.)

The members of the Shinigmai Women's Association were gathered along a long rectangular table. (God alone knows where they got that from and how the even managed to fit in into the room) Yachiru had wanted them to all look 'official' since they would be discussing 'very important matters' that afternoon. They all had a note pad in front of them with a brush and ink pot to the side and each had their own glass of water. Oddly enough Yachiru's idea of official looked much like a brief conference in the world of the living.

"Two months seems like a long time to wait." Kiyone noted twirling her brush in her left hand.

"Well we do have a lot to plan, we have to prepare tickets, find a place to host the event, get decorations, find judges and of course contestants, we also have to decide on what rounds we are going to do and... maybe two months is not long enough after all." The lieutenant of the 8th sighed and tapped the wooden tip of her brush against the clip board that she always carried around.

"How about we all split up into committee's and spilt the work?" Momo suggested, "We could have a decorating committee, one that is in charge of the tickets, oh and we could also sell refreshments to make a little bonus."

Nanao nodded (really why isn't she the president of the SWA?), "That's a good idea Momo. Does anybody else have suggestions?"

There was a loud chorus as everybody voiced their opinions. Yachiru actually looked up from drawing on her note pad. She laughed along with the noise, this was turning out to be a lot more fun than she had expected. They were going to have a huge party with lots of candy; there was nothing more she could ask for. She decided that she was going to make this party go through. No one was going to stop her or going to make it all go to waste, no one. This was going to be _her_ party and nothing was going to change that.

After around forty-five minutes almost all preparations had been put down on paper. They would ask Hisagi of squad nine if he could do the tickets and the advertising. The competition itself would be held in the 2nd division (since it was the best suited due to all the extra amenities from the obnoxious yet very rich lieutenant) courtesy of Soifon or rather Yoruichi saying that they could have it in the 2nd division and Soifon not being able to say no to her. Kiyone wanted to be put in charge of decorations and Nemu was to help her with lighting and special effects (if needed). Momo was put in charge of the refreshments.

"Okay so now that that's over with, we should decide on the contestants and the judges." Nanao said referring to her clip board.

"Let's do the judges first." Rangiku suggested, "Deciding on contestants will take much longer."

Nanao nodded, "The floor is open to any suggestions on who should judge the competition. We need at least four people, one for each round; kimonos, swimming suit, talent, and speech."

Yachiru's hand shot up and she bounced up and down in her seat. "Oh, oh, oh. Pick me! Pick me! I wanna judge, please, please, please!"

Nanao sighed, "Yes Yachiru you can be a judge." They all had learnt that it was best to give Yachiru what she asked for when she asked for it. They would all sleep better if they did, that girl could keep a tantrum up for months on end. Sadly to say, they had learned from experience.

"I think that Unohana-Taicho would make a fair judge also," Isane suggested.

"And what about Kuchiki-Taicho?" Kiyone asked

"I'm not sure that Nii-sama would-" Rukia started slight worry on her face.

"Yes Baykkun too!" Yachiru pounded her small fist on the table glaring at the other association members.

Everyone else sighed; it was a known secret that the pink haired girl had a crush on the captain of the 6th. It was kind of cute actually. (A/N: no it's not -_-')

"So we have three potential judges so far; Unohana-Taicho, Kichiki-Taicho, and... Yachiru. Is there anyone else who could be a judge?"

"What about Yumichika of the 11th?" Rangiku suggested, "He knows a thing or two about... beauty." She gave a wide smile, it was hard to tell if she was joking or not.

"Are you serious, Rangiku?" Rukia asked.

The blond woman scratched the back of her neck and giggled nervously. "Okay fine, I owe him for buying me sake last week, and he caught wind of the beauty pageant and wanted to take part in it."

Nanao's glasses flashed, "You should learn to keep your expenditures in check Rangiku, you cannot use the SWA to pay off your debt."

"Why not? And it's not debt technically speaking... and if I don't get him into this competition he'll go to my captain and, I'm not ready to do all that paperwork yet!"

"Rangiku-"

"Let's Make Yun-yun judge too!" Yachiru announced, "I want him to be at the party too!... oh and Kenny also-"

"I draw the line at Zaraki-Taicho having anything to do with this 'party' Yachiru." Nanao huffed.

Yachiru pouted but did not object.

"So that's it for the judges then. We have Unohana-Taicho, Kuchiki-Taicho,... Yachiru and Yumichika Ayasegawa."

Everyone nodded in approval.

"Good." Nanao tapped a couple sheets of paper on the table top, "And now on to the contestants. At the last meeting we decided on a total of five contestants, (A/N: sorry but my poor little brain can't handle more than five people) suggested a couple of names, and voted on who would be the best choice. Apparently you, Rukia, were very popular."

The Black haired girl blushed slightly, "Me?"

"Yes, you got the second highest number of votes."

"Congratulations contestant number one." Rangiku smiled at the girl.

Rukia looked surprised; she had wanted to be in the competition but did not actually think that she could have made it. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, "I... well, I'll do my best. Who else was nominated?"

Nanao consulted her (handy-dandy) clipboard, "... Soifon, you followed close behind Rukia."

"What? That's impossible, I had no intention of taking part in the competition in such a way!" The captain of the 2nd division exclaimed, "I decline!"

"I think that you should do it Soifon." Yoruichi grinned from her position next to the petite woman, "It would be a good opportunity for you, you act so uptight all the time you need to let loose once in a while."

"Y-yes Yoruichi-sama. "(A/N: mind control much? Soifon needs to assert herself more often... to Yoruichi at least.) She bowed her head biting her lower lip, it would be unheard of; her, the captain of the stealth force, entering a beauty pageant. But Yoruichi had suggested it... "I'll do it." _For you Yoruichi-sama._

"Well this is bound to be interesting." Rangiku smirked.

"You were ranked next, Rangiku." Nanao continued to read out.

The blond flipped her hair over her shoulder, "There's no surprise there. Of course I'll do it!"

"Big surprise." Kiyone rolled her eyes, "Who else?"

"Let's see, there's..." Nanao voice caught in her throat and she almost dropped the paper she was holding.

"What's wrong Nanao? You've gone pale all of a sudden, whoever it is it couldn't be that bad." Momo urged.

"No, this just took me by surprise that's all..." The brunette shook her head seemingly dazed.

"Well who is it?" Isane asked.

Nanao stared at the paper like it was going to explode in her hands. That could not have been what was written on the paper, right? She blinked a couple of times trying to prove to herself that she was seeing things, but no, what was written was written it was through no fault of her eyesight that she saw what was there. She swallowed, "... It's... it's ... m-me."

There was around five minutes of complete silence. Then Yachiru broke out in laughter.

"Yay! That means you'll be joining the party too!"

"B-but, there's no way I could ever do something like this. I'm not that kind of person. I can't-"

"Just listen to yourself Nanao. You've never doubted yourself like this before. I've always known you to be cool, calm and collected." Rangiku commented casually observing her fingernails.

"This is completely different! This is a beauty pageant we're talking about; I can't take part in it."

"Well I guess we'll have to find someone else." Yoruichi cut in secretly sending a sly look in Rangiku's direction.

"Yes please do... wait what? You're just going to let me decline just like that?" Nanao frowned, they obviously had some trick up their sleeves, there was no way that they would let her back out so easily.

Rukia, Momo, Isane and Kiyone sent each other confused looks. Nemu would have joined in too but Nemu was... Nemu. And the light of the situation just shone over Yachiru's head; literally she was painting a picture on her notepad.

"I-I'm not scared or anything I just don't want to do it." Nanao stuttered.

Yoruichi waved her off, "We know we know you're not the type of person to do something like this. It's not within your means, you're better off at planning stuff aren't you?"

"Just stop it right there. I know what you two are trying to do and it won't work. You're trying to make me chicken out, so I'd enter the competition just to contradict you-"

Yoruichi cut her off, "What we're really trying to say is many people would be disappointed if you don't enter."

Nanao raised an eyebrow, "I hardly think that anyone would be disappointed in me not entering. I would never normally do such a thing so they won't be missing out on anything."

"Nanao," Momo decided to intervene, "If you think about it we are doing this by number of votes, and that means a lot of people wanted you participate and thought you would do well. Wouldn't you be disappointing them if you decided not to do the competition?"

Isane nodded, "She right, a lot of people would be disappointed."

Kiyone and Rukia agreed also. Nemu even gave a stiff nod. (Yachiru was still lost to the world of art.)

Nanao sighed her glasses slid down her nose a little, "Fine," she mumbled, "I'll enter. But not a word of this reaches my Taicho. He'll never let me rest if he finds out before hand."

Momo gave her a small smile, "I have a feeling that you're going to do well Nanao."

"So who's the last contestant then?" Kiyone asked eagerly.

Nanao consulted her paper once again, "Well this is a surprise, Rangiku your cousin seems to have the most votes."

Rangiku cocked her head, "Really? I had no idea that she would be so popular, that's great! Oh, but she said she didn't want to have anything to do with the competition yesterday when I mentioned it to her."

Soifon raised an eyebrow and shot Rangiku an odd look, "I don't think that _she_ would ever do something like this. It doesn't seem up her alley one bit."

"But we can't exclude her from the competition," Kiyone whined, "She got the most votes that means that most people wanted to see her and that means if she competes more people will turn up and _that_ means that we get more money."

"... She was adamant that she did not want to participate, I'm sorry you guys." Rangiku bit her lip nervously; Hitsugaya would not be... pleased, for the lack of a better word, if the SWA put his name down for the competition.

Nanao shook her head, "Kiyone had a point, Rangiku, and plus I have to go through this torture then it should be only fair that she does too."

Soifon, shook her head, "I get this feeling that even if you do put her name down she still won't do it."

Yoruichi cocked her head in Soifon's direction, "You seem to know her well, it's Kaida isn't it?"

"Yes,it's Kaida, but Soifon has a point my cousin has a very strong mind set she said that she didn't want to do it and when she says something she means it. We won't get her to change her mind so easily." Rangiku twisted a lock of hair between her fingers.

"But we can get her to change her mind?" Nanao asked.

"Well-"

Yachiru decided to take the chance to actually listen, "You mean Towel-head is gonna come too?"

"We're not too sure Yachiru." Rangiku winced, if Yachiru got wind of Histugaya joining the competition her poor captain would not get a moments peace, which in turn meant that she would suffer.

"She should come, I had so much fun with her the last time." She stood up on the table, pumping her fist in the air, "Okay this is our new assignment; we have to get Towel-head to come to the party at all costs."

Ragiku swallowed this was not going to end well.

("\(^.^)/")

"Ahcoooo!"

_Oh wow, someone's thinking of you, Master._

Toushiro scowled and rubbed his nose with his sleeve. _The office is just probably dusty._

_Whatever you say, master._

_

* * *

_**Soo how was it? not much happened i know but i had to get most of the stuff with the competition out of the way. next chapter: the SWA attempts to get Hitsugaya to join xDD**

**oh and the results for the contestants and judges were as follows:**

Judges

Unohana: 7

Yachiru: 6

Byakuya, Yumicika: 5

Kyoraku: 4

Yuichi, Ukitake, Yoruichi,Rangiku: 2

Isshin, Soifon, Ichigo, Hisagi, Ikkaku: 1

Contestants 

Kaida CoughToushiroCough: 9

Rukia: 7

Soifon: 6

Rangiku: 5

Nanao: 5

Isane, Momo, Yoruichi: 4

Nemu: 2

Kiyone, Yachiru, Orehime: 1

**thank you for all your help ^^**

**-Mymomomo**


	12. The times and trials of Toushiro

**Now for the long awaited chapter 12! Once again sorry for the short delay you would never believe how busy I have been for the past week -_-'**

**I do believe that this chapter is much better than the last and please do enjoy ^^**

**Disclaimer: I own Bleach as much as I am not sarcastic (hint hint this is sarcasm)**

**now read onwards my minions (nothing personal)**

* * *

_How, how, __**how**__ did I end up in a closet?_! Toushiro banged his head hard on the wooden door.

_Not so loud they will hear you!_ Hyourinmaru exclaimed.

_Ugh!_

Seriously, how did he, the Taicho of the 10th division, find himself in a supply closet? The answer was simple actually, the Shinigami Women's Association. There was nothing more to explain. All ten (was it?) had burst into his office without warning. He barely had time to scramble to the sofa abandoning his paperwork on the desk and almost upsetting a pot of ink. He had been bombarded by all of the very frantic and determined women. And all for what? They wanted him to take part in the Miss Seireitei competition. He said no countless of times, but oh no the SWA did not give up then. He had been tailed all over the Seireitei by the various members. They popped up randomly anywhere he went.

Scenario number one; in the 10th division mess hall.

Since 'Kaida' was not a seated member she had to eat with the rest of the division. It was a serious annoyance, but a necessary one. The last thing he needed was people to think that he was anorexic, which would cause a whole set of problems in itself. As a captain he usually had his meals brought to his office, but now that little bonus was not available. He had to eat with his subordinates, if Matsumoto found out that he was skipping meals there would be hell to pay.

"Growing children should not skip meals," She had told him. Of course the 'child' comment had gained her a week's worth of paperwork and he paid her no mind as usual. But, when she discovered that he had not eaten breakfast on one occasion, she literally forced a bowl of steamed rice down his throat. He shivered at the memory; it was not a pretty one. Here comes the aeroplane? He broke the chopsticks that she had been trying to feed him with in half... so she had gotten a metal spoon... then continued to 'try', keyword try, to feed him. She had been drunk then, tough. He doubted that she would have tried to 'feed' him if she had been sober. But still after that account he was not in a rush to skip anymore meals.

He sat down on an empty table away from the crowds of hungry, noisy people with his bowl of white rice, not in a mood to eat much, and a mug of green tea (A/N: is it just me or does Toushiro have some sort of addiction to green tea? I mean he's always drinking it 0_o). After the women had invaded his office the previous day he had decided to give it a wide breadth. He had surprised himself with that choice. His office was like his sacred shrine, him avoiding it was like hell freezing over; it just did not happen. But here he was in the mess hall instead of in the office; the devil must have invested in air conditions. He slowly munched on the rice lamenting on the chopsticks in his hands instead of a brush and a bowl of rice instead of some official document. He sighed.

_Withdrawal symptoms?_

_I'm just thinking of all the work that is just sitting there waiting for me... it's depressing._

_You know regular people your age would be worried about stuff like; friends, sports, whether the weather would be good enough for you to go out today, zits, girls you know important stuff..._

_So you're saying that I'm not normal?_

_No that has already been established. What I'm saying is that you need a life; you're worrying about such a trivial thing as your job._

_My job is not trivial._

_But it is keeping you away from the more important things in life._

_Shut up, Hyourinmaru._

_Fine._

Toushiro rolled his eyes and went back to his rice. Shoving a chunk into his mouth he scowled deeply. He would have already put a sizeable dent in the pile of forms that was sure to be on his desk, if he had gone straight to the office.

"Kaida Matsumoto, just the person I wanted to see!"

Great. Warily he looked over his shoulder and saw Yoruichi bounding up to him with a reluctant, scowling Soifon trailing behind her. He sighed; the SWA... again. Someone needed to buy them a dictionary because it seemed that 'no' was not in their vocabulary. How was it that the word perseverance was something like their motto but a two letter word was beyond them?

"I already told you, I'm not entering Shihoin." He growled.

The dark skinned woman sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. Soifon just continued to scowl.

"Oh ho, is that so?" She gave him a small smirk. Toushiro rolled his eyes. "There are a lot of perks of being in a beauty competition."

He raised an eyebrow, "Really like what? Getting to show off my body in a degrading way in front of a crowd of people, having to act like a performing monkey for other's entertainment, having to act like a plastic doll and having to dress up, or is it the joy in starving myself so that I will look 'good' in my kimono and swimming suit? I said no, none of that interests me in the slightest." He shoved another chunk of rice into his mouth.

Yoruichi cocked her head, while Soifon sighed, "I think we should honour her wishes Yoruichi-sama, she really doesn't want to do this-"

"No I wasn't referring to any of those." Yoruichi feigned shock, "I was talking about all the attention you would be getting."

"Not interested."

"Of the male kind..." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and pulled Toushiro closer to her.

Soifon buried her head in her arms, even though Yoruichi was her idol; the woman was embarrassing some of the times.

Toushiro's scowl deepened and he shoved another scoop of rice into his mouth pulling away from the dark woman, "_Definitely_ not interested."

"I don't think that Kaida is interested in men, Yoruichi-sama..." Soifon intervened trying to help the small Taicho. She felt for him, she really did.

"Oh. I see it's that way then."

"What way?" He said while chewing.

Our mothers tell us not to talk with our mouths full for a reason. It is not only revolting to see half chewed food being formed into some sort of mush and smothered in saliva but apparently it is also very dangerous.

"If you want to attract _female _attention I guess it would work either way."

Yes, he did choke on the rice that he had been chewing.

"Yoruichi-sama!" Soifon exclaimed.

"What? She said that she wasn't interested in men so she obviously has to be in-"

Toushiro coughed violently trying to clear his airway as well as trying to stop Yoruichi from finishing the sentence. It worked the stopping her from finished part but not for the breathing part. Yoruichi slapped him hard on the back, he was sure a welt had been raised.

He pushed her hand away tears stinging the corner of his eyes. "That's enough." He gasped, taking a gulp of his tea. The slap had worked, but he was in no way appreciative. He stood up, "If this is the way you plan on convincing me to join that ridiculous competition then you have convinced me that I do not want to do it even more."

He marched away from them leaving his unfinished breakfast on the table. "Good day, Soifon, Shihoin."

The nerve of some people, assuming that he was homosexual!

_Technically speaking, you are interested in women, saying that you were into men on the other hand..._

_Shut up you retarded lizard, I don't remember asking you to speak._

_Humph, pissed off much?_

_What gave it away?_

Scenario number two; in the office (big surprise)

He had finally reached his office that morning. Surprisingly Matsumoto was already there. She was lounging on the couch and reading the new edition of The Seireitei Communication magazine. He knew that it was too much to ask for her to actually start on the paperwork; he was just pleased that she was even in the office.

"Good morning Taicho." She greeted him as he entered the room.

He grunted in answer before sitting down at his desk. He gave the huge pile of papers on his desk the once over before taking out an ink pot and brush from a draw. Breakfast had already put him in a bad mood and the work that somehow manifested itself over night was not doing much to help.

"Bad breakfast, Taicho?" Matsumoto asked turning to look at him from over the back of the sofa.

He nodded, "Now help me with the work."

"What happened?"

He sighed, "The SWA again. Did you not tell them that I wasn't interested in having anything to do with that competition? Now get to work."

"I did but as I told you what I tell them and what they hear are two different things. They want you to enter the completion. I think it will be fun."

"Get to work Matsumoto. And I will not be taking part in the competition so if you could speak to Ise or whoever is in charge and tell them that they can forget about me."

"Yachiru is in charge and she had her mind set on you entering. As a matter of fact I think that you would be better off in the competition than having Yachiru mad at you."

"No means no. Kusajishi could throw a tantrum for all I care. And get to work for god's sake!"

The blond lieutenant just shrugged knowing that he would somehow end up doing the competition. She just wondered who would be the one to make him crack. Turing back around, she picked up her magazine and started reading.

Toushiro stared at the back of his head. Was he speaking in a foreign language when it came to asking her to do the paperwork? Oh and speaking of help, he still needed to ask her about the Yuichi situation. Since the lunch two days ago he had been avoiding the boy, he had no idea what to say to him.

"Matsumoto?" He began.

She looked bad at him again. The questioning tone in his voice intrigued her. She spun around on the couch again her eyes bright with excitement as if she knew that something juicy was coming her way. "Yes Taicho, what is it?"

He took one glance at her expression and his throat dried out. Just how exactly was he supposed to ask Matsumoto for advice on his relationship with Takahashi? That sounded as if they were dating didn't it, advice on their relationship? Ok then; advice on how to... oh whatever it was a relationship problem there was no other way to explain it. But to tell that to Matsumoto...

_She may be your only answer. _Hyourinmaru pointed out.

_I know, I know._

_You can think about all the grief she'll give you later but now let's just get this over with._

"I... I need your help, Matsumoto."

She raised an eyebrow her eyes sparkled and her mouth twisted into a wide grin, "Oh, with what, Taicho?"

He swallowed and slowly opened his mouth to tell her. "I-"

_Bang!_

The office door violently slid open.

"Join the competition please, Kaida!"

Startled, Toushiro scrambled out of the chair, tripping over his own feet. To prevent himself from falling flat on his face he tried to grab the edge of the desk. Somehow while he did this his flailing hands knocked in to the stack of paperwork, the papers went flying in every single direction possible. That one catastrophe went unnoticed, though, as he was more concerned with his now broken coccyx.

"Ta-Kaida!" Matsumoto exclaimed jumping up from the couch.

"I-I'm okay, Matsumoto..." Toushiro winced slowly standing up a hand on his throbbing butt.

_That looked painful, now any aspirations you had of growing a butt just went out the window. Are you sure you're okay, master? _

He ignored Hyourinmaru's comment about wanting a big butt. _I'm fine, but the person who just barged in like that won't be._

_Your temper, Toushiro, watch it._

Taking a deep breath he turned towards the intruders Kiyone, Rukia and... Momo. Damn, not the SWA again.

"How many times do I have to say it, goddamnit?" He shouted making a fist with his hand, "I said no, I'm not going to take part in the competition! Get it through your thick skulls; I am not going to participate!"

The three girls shrunk back cowering behind Matsumoto who was glaring at him her arms folded across her large chest, her eyes narrowed. Uh oh, he knew that pose. It was not a good one; for him at least.

He folded his own arms across his chest and glared at his lieutenant. Unfortunately for him he had not completely consoled himself to the facts of being female quite as yet. A small blush spread across his cheeks before he managed to hide it. He had forgotten that for the sake of his mental health that he was not supposed to fold his arms across his chest. He opted to put his hands on his hips instead. (A/N; I personally think that the hands on hips pose is much more threatening than the folded arms, I mean, whenever your mom puts her hands on her hips and glares at you, you know something bad is going down. Yes, sadly this it from experience...) It was more threatening... but also more feminine. (A/N; it is ^^ unless the boy is joking.)

_Toushiro don't... don't stand like that._

_Can it, Hyourinmaru I don't want to hear it._

The dragon growled softly, _You're pissed off at the world, don't take it out on me!_ With that he roughly shut his thoughts off from Toushiro.

A pissed off Toushiro of course meant a pissed of Hyourinmaru, they were one in the same after all. And in turn a pissed off Hyourinmaru put Toushiro on edge. So it was like he was pissed off squared... come to think of it all hell was probably going to break loose in the office any minute soon.

"Kaida, manners." Matsumoto's tone was low and cold as ice.

_Yes Kaida, manners. _Hyourinmaru opened his mind just to provoke him.

"They asked for it." He was on the defensive now.

But suddenly Matsumoto shook her head a small smile spreading on her face, "Honestly what am I to do with you Kaida? Just listen to what they have to say."

"And who are you to tell me what to do, _Matsumoto?"_

She raised an eyebrow, "Your elder cousin, and at the moment the person in charge of you."

Toushiro growled, she had a point Matsumoto would be Kaida's guardian. This was the very definition of infuriating. He turned to the three girls only then actually realising just who was there. "Fine, speak."

Rukia, Kiyone and Mom glanced at each other nervously; they never would have guess that such a small girl as Kaida had such a big temper... or a big pair of lungs.

Rukia decided to brave the storm, "We know that you don't want to enter the competition Kaida, but please can you merely consider it?"

"No."

"Can we say anything to make you change your mind?" Kiyone pleaded.

"No."

"There is a prize for the winner, we don't know what it is but it's bound to be good." Rukia tried.

"Bribery doesn't work on me."

At that Momo let out a small giggle. Toushiro glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Is there something humorous, Hinamori?"

She shook her head, "It's just that you remind me of someone."

Kiyone and Rukia stared at her incredulously, Matsumoto cocked her head.

"Really and who is that?"

"Your own captain actually, my little brother Shiro-chan- um I mean Histugaya-kun. Yu even look like him."

His eyebrow twitched at the nickname, "Shiro-chan? The last time I checked the name of my captain was Hitsugaya-_Taicho_. And I do not look like him, we're completely different (cough cough)."

"You both have white hair." Momo pointed out. Rukia and Kiyone frowned Momo actually had a point there; the two were vaguely similar.

Toushiro yanked on the green head scarf that covered his hair, yes he had gotten a new one that morning, tired of people gawking at his head. "That doesn't mean anything; lots of people have white hair. That is no valid reason to link me to Hitsugaya-Taicho, Hinamori."

Damn Momo was on to him. He would have to be really careful around her from now on. He had to put any similarities between himself and Kaida or rather Kaida and himself to rest.

"Oh Kaida, why are you always so formal? Hitsugaya-Taicho and you are around the same age there's no need to be that way. Hey, the two of your could be friends!" Rangiku suddenly exclaimed.

Nice save Matsumoto. He shook his head, "Hitsugaya-Taicho is Hitsugaya-_Taicho, _I don't think that he would appreciate us talking about him while he is not here, in fact this could be considered as insubordination- Ow!"

Matsumoto shook out her hand from hitting him upside the head. "You need to lighten up, oh dear _cousin_ of mine."

He glared at her.

"In fact," She went on, "you three don't have to worry; I'll make it my personal duty to make sure she enters that competition!"

"You wouldn't dare, Matsumoto!"

"Oh, I dare. Kaida I do dare."

Toushiro wandered if there was a way to painlessly end his life right then and there. He couldn't even threaten her with paperwork because of the three girls that were there. The universe hated him.

Scenario number three; on the way to the bathroom

Yes they had even attacked him on the way to the bathroom. He was walking quickly down a hallway in his division (because when you have to go you don't really spend time admiring the scenery). He had gone a grand total of fifteen minutes without being bombarded by the SWA. He was hoping that he could keep up with his streak of good luck. After Momo, Rukia and Kiyone had left his office convinced that Matsumoto would make him do the competition, while he had convinced himself even more that he did not want to do it, at least five other members had come into the office trying to convince him to take part in the competition. It was not even noon yet and already he had seen every single one of the SWA members. He looked over his shoulder every minute look for any signs of the mad women. Okay so what he was being paranoid, but he had a good reason for it. If he left his guard down he would be murdered, not literally but something to that extent.

He was six feet away from the bathroom and was inwardly rejoicing that his little excursion had not been interrupted by the daemons of The Seireitei. He took a relieved breath finally his luck was taking a turn for the better. Since the whole incident a week ago horrible, embarrassing situations had just been thrown upon him. He was glad for this moment of piece, his bladder screamed otherwise, though. Well you couldn't have it all.

Toushiro rounded the corner to the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks. Apparently fifteen minutes was all he could have in terms of the good luck department. He swallowed; walking up to him was none other than Yoruichi and Soifon (again), Yachiru, and Isane. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! What did he ever do to deserve this? He had always tried to be a good person, he was polite... when he felt like it, he never hurt anyone... unless it was necessary, he did all his work... grudgingly, he had been helpful... when circumstances required it. Okay fine he had not been _that_ good of a person, but hey, nobody is perfect.

Grinding his teeth together he turned towards the four women (actually three women and one... Yachiru).

"No."

"But we didn't even say anything yet." Isane pointed out.

He scowled, "I already know what you're going to say and my answer is no."

"That's no good Towel-head." Yachiru pouted, "You have to come to the party! There's gonna be lots'n'lots of candy!"

He glared down at the girl not wanting to be anywhere near her when candy was in the vicinity, not after the last time. "Thanks but I'll pass."

"No you have to come!" She spread her hands out wide and looked Toushiro directly in his eyes.

"Please Kaida," Isane began to plead, "We need you in this competition."

He raised an eyebrow, "No you don't, and can't you find anybody else to bother?"

"No we want you, Kaida," Yoruichi said a familiar grin donning her face.

"Why?" That had come out higher than expected. He crossed his legs; the pee was coming down.

"Because we think that you're the most beautiful girl in The Seireitei and we need you in our competition." He could actually feel the sarcasm rolling of Yoruichi's words.

"No seriously, why?" He bit his lip trying to ignore his screaming bladder for the moment.

Isane sighed, "Well because, we did a survey on who would be the best candidates for the competition and you got the most votes, so you have to take part in it."

"..." they had done a survey, and he had gotten the most votes? What the hell? He did not even remember telling them that he wanted his name as one of the choices. "I don't recall consenting to being part of that survey."

"Um... well... Rangiku said that we could put your name down..." Isane answered reluctantly.

"Matsumoto..." He growled oh she was going to get it when he went back to the office. She was going to get it good. But wait a second... "What do you mean that I got the most votes?"

"You did, you won by a landslide." Yoruichi said.

He turned to Soifon, she seemed like the only one who was not pressuring him to enter. Maybe it was because she knew who he really was. He appreciated it though. "Is this true?"

She nodded, "A lot of people wanted you to take part in it."

He growled. No the guilt trip would not work on him. It was not going to work, it was not going to work, it was not- damn; he really needed to use the bathroom badly.

"Well that's nice and all but I have no intention of entering. Now if you will excuse me-"

"No you have to come Towel-head!" Yachiru launched herself at him and grabbed onto his leg.

"Get off of me Kusajishi." He jumped away.

"Please, please, please, please, please?" She whined balling the leg of his hakama in her fists.

"No, now let go of me." He shook his leg trying to dislodge her. That was a bad idea having a full bladder and then deciding to jump around was not the smartest thing to do. Oh great, and what was really killing him was that the bathroom was right in plain sight less than two metres away, but he could not get to it.

"Why not?" Yoruichi asked folding her arms across her chest.

"What?" Toushiro asked while bending down to unfasten Yachiru from his leg before it lost circulation.

"Why don't you want to do it? All you've said was that you didn't want to take part in the competition you didn't give us a reason."

"Yeah..." Isnae agreed. Soifon shook her head and sighed.

"Oh um well, I just don't want to do it. I would never be caught dead in a competition like that."

"You're scared aren't you? You don't like going up in front of a crowd right?" Isane asked.

"... Yeah, that's it I have stage fright. I could never do something like that, never." He bit his bottom lip he really needed to go now, he was positively bursting.

Yoruichi smiled at him, "Well we'll work on that, there's no need to be self-conscious, you're pretty, and you have a nice body and a nice face."

He felt himself blush, but now was not the time for compliments; he had to go to the bathroom. "I have to go. "His voice was strained.

"Will you enter?"

He bit his bottom lip, if he said no they would keep him there longer, but if he said yes... "I'll think about it but I won't tell you to get your hopes up."

"You may have well have said no."

"We won't give up until you come!" Yachiru exclaimed.

"Can this wait? I really have to go now." He squeezed his legs together hopping the women would just end his misery.

"Not until you say yes, Towel-head."

"But I really, _really_ have to go now..." He could not take it anymore another minute and he would wet himself. Oh goddamn this situation, why did these things always happen to him?"

"Whatever it is it can't be that important, now we don't want to use force, Kaida just tell us you will enter."

He had a choice to either preserve his dignity or stop his bladder from bursting. He growled in annoyance. Oh screw this, he was going to use the freaking bathroom and not enter the competition (both at the same time ^^).

"I said no." With that he yanked his leg from Yachiru's iron grip- ignoring the short ripping sound- and marched... okay who we are kidding, he full out ran to the bathroom.

Yorichi, Soifon, Yachiru and Isane stared at each other. So that was what Kaida meant when she said that she had to go. She really did have to _go._

"Is it just me or..." Yoruichi trailed off.

Isane gasped when she realised what Yoruichi had pointed out, "Kaida! That's the-"

_Slam!_

"-male bathroom..."

Five seconds later the small girl exited the bathroom with a red face and a scowl that could kill, "Not. A. Word."

Scenario number four; delivering paperwork to the first division

Toushiro was not sure how much more of this he could take. His nerves were frazzled and it was only three o'clock. The SWA women were all over him he could not hide anywhere; it was like they had a sensor for him.

_You could just say yes..._ Hyourinmaru suggested. The dragon never stayed mad at him for long.

_Ha! And do that stupid competition? I don't think so. It's a beauty pageant, Hyourinmaru? And I am a guy remember?_

_Not at the moment you are. Right now you are a pretty little girl who needs to join the beauty pageant so that she can save her awesome, zanpakuto spirit that she loves so much from going insane._

_And who is this 'little girl' again? I know I can't possibly be me, I don't have an awesome zanpakuto spirit who I love all I have is you._

_Meanie. For that I'm not going to tell you that the SWA is heading your way._

_Thanks Hyourinmaru._

_For what? I'm still mad at you, child._

He began to sense the distinct reiatsus of a few of the SWA women. It was of the same make up of a shark smelling blood. He looked around for anywhere to hide. He had to bring his finished paperwork to Yama-jii but now that could wait, paperwork be damned, his life was on the line.

_Look there's a closet over there._ Hyourinmaru exclaimed.

Toushiro wasted no time in yanking the door open and shutting himself in. Exactly ten seconds after he had closed the door he heard the women run up.

"I could have sworn that she came this way."

"Yeah I saw her here a few seconds a go, where could she have gone?"

He could not tell who was talking but he prayed to the god that seemed to hate him that they would not notice this closet. It was built into the wall thankfully and mostly undistinguishable from its surroundings. The only way someone could have noticed it was because of the hinges. He wouldn't have noticed it unless Hyourinmaru hadn't pointed it out. Please, please, please don't let them see this closet, he pleaded.

_Just don't make any noise and hide your reiastu. _Hyourinmaru suggested.

_How, how, __**how**_did I end up in a closet? Toushiro banged his head hard on the wooden door.

-Well now you know-

("\(^.^)/")

He had been in the closet for nearly twenty minutes now. He was scared to go out. He knew that once he set foot outside of the tiny closet he would be attacked. Toushiro liked his body the way it was ; whole. So he tried to ignore the rather hard shelf poking him in his back and the fact that he was forced into a position that resembled a split.

_You can get out now, they're nowhere in sight anymore. A few more seconds like this and you going to pull a muscle._

_Too late for that bit of advice, I can't feel my left leg. And there is no way I'm getting out just yet they could be just around the corner waiting for me!_

_Fine willingly put yourself in discomfort some more. As for me I can wait I have a nice big, open, field of ice, with fresh air, and a delightful cooling breeze... now that I think about it; you have claustrophobia don't you?_

_I am not claustrophobic, I just don't like closed up spaces, but this... this is necessary._

_... Walls closing in around you! You can't breathe! The heat's too much to stand! You need to get out of here! It's too small! You want to yell 'somebody get me out of here!'_

_Shut up Hyourinmaru, I don't like this just as much as you so please, be quite._

_Not until you get out of here._

_But they may be wait-_

_Walls closing in around-_

_Okay, okay shut up already, I'm going, goddamnit!_

He reached out to the door knob and pushed open. Because the closet was so small and he was so squished up, as soon as the door was open he tumbled out into the hallway, almost bumping into Nanao who just so happened to be walking along that particular hallway at that particular time. Oh the irony.

_Smooth, very smooth._

_Whatever, I'm out now anyway. And Ise is staring at me. Didn't I tell you that they were going to be waiting for me to come out?_

_She wasn't waiting for you, she was passing by. You have very bad timing, Toushiro._

_What the hell? You were the one who was pressuring me to get out of the closet right at that moment. It's your fault in that case!_

_No, it is never my fault, nothing is ever my fault, and this is all you're doing._

_It's a bloody conspiracy! You're working with them aren't you? You want me to do that stupid competition don't you?_

"What were you doing in that closet Hitsugaya-Taicho?" Nanao asked breaking him out of his thoughts.

He jumped startled, shoot how as he supposed to cover this one? What _was_ he doing in the closet? Slowly he backed away bumping into the closet shelves. Frantically he looked around and grabbed a random item from one of the shelves.

"Oh I was just getting a... egg? We seem to be out of them at the tenth." He scratched the back of his neck nervously; of course it had to be a food supply closet. Just how much exactly did the world hate him? The answer cannot be acknowledged because of its sheer immensity.

Nanao raised her eyebrow, "You were hiding from the SWA weren't you, _Hitsugaya-Taicho_?"

"They won't leave me alone-" All of a sudden his eyes widened and he stared at Nanao his face going pale. He just realised that she had called him Hitsugaya-Taicho, Hitsugaya-Taicho not Kaida. She knew, she knew his secret. But how?

"H-How did you figure it out?" He whispered.

Nanao's glasses flashed and she hoisted her clipboard a little higher up in her arms, "So it's true then? You really are Hitsugaya-Taicho not Matsumoto's younger cousin?"

He hung his head, it did not make sense lying now, but how did she figure it out? "Yes Ise, I am Hitsuagaya-Taicho. How did you find out?"

She sighed, "It is well known that my Taicho has a loose tongue when drunk, he was blabbing on and on about it not too long ago."

Toushiro paled, his deep dark secret had been disclosed due to an over-dose of sake? Oh Kyoraku was so dead. "Y-you didn't tell anybody else right?"

"No, you insult me Hitsugaya-Taicho, I do have tact. I realised that since you went through all that trouble disguising yourself as a girl, and Rangiku's cousin no less, you must not have wanted people to know that you are a girl at the moment. Don't worry, no one else was there when Kyoraku-Taicho blurted it out, it was just me."

Toushiro let out a long sigh of relief, "Thank you so much Ise."

"And I will keep a close eye on my Taicho if he says anything about this in public I will cover up the best I can or even better prevent him from saying anything in the first place."

"What can I ever do to repay you Ise-Fukutaicho?"

She seemed to be taken aback, but then she cocked her head and looked at him strangely.

_I get this feeling that you should not have said that, master._

"Repay me, you mean for keeping your secret and for stopping my drunken captain from revealing you?"

"... Um yeah."

"What you can do in that case is take part in the Miss Seireitei competition."

He blinked. Was this karma, irony, fate? No this was plain bullshit.

"And if I don't?"

"I thought you wanted to keep this a secret, _Hitsugaya-Taicho_."

"That's blackmail!"

"That's life. You were the most wanted person in this competition. And that means that more people will turn up if you are in the competition, which in turn means that the SWA will earn more money... so help us Kaida."

He growled audibly and glared at Nanao, he knew that she was strict and harsh but this... "Fine put my blasted name down."

"I knew you would see it my way Kaida, thank you for agreeing with us, the Miss Seireitei will be a huge success because of you."

Toushiro felt like he was going to break down and cry. The world was against him, he was absolutely sure of it.

* * *

**Sooooooooo how was it? I wouldn't be me if I didn't ask that.**

**I have always admired Nanao so of course she would have been the one to capture out little Shiro-chan. And yes being blackmailed would be the only way i could imagine Toushiro doing something like this. He may be a girl now but he still has his masculine pride^^**

** I do hope that this chapter was up to your standards.**

**R****ecent research shows that authors who get more reviews write better stories than those who don't xD.**


	13. Dear mother nature

**This was quicker than expected. I have gone from extremely busy to having nothing to do...**

**MkBunny at long last your chapter is finally here ^^. I tried my best I just hope it is up to your standards -_- **

**Disclaimer: I own bleach which is why this would never happen in either the manga or anime.**

**Now I present to you Chapter 13**

* * *

Toushiro woke up the next day with a horrible feeling in his stomach. Maybe he should stay in bed that day. In fact he should have stayed in bed that whole week. If he could reverse time he would have and made sure that he did not leave his quarters while he was like this. It sure would have saved him a lot of humiliation and grief. He pulled his covers over his head, staying in bed for the whole day did seem very appealing.

_Don't be ridiculous, Toushiro, you can't stay in bed, you have a division to run, remember. Get up this instant young man._

_Ugh, do I have too I have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach._

_Yes you do. Don't make me come out there._

Sighing the white haired youth pushed himself up from the futon. Something told him that he was really going to regret doing that.

_You know, master, if every great man decided that he did not want to get out of bed simply because he had a bad feeling in his stomach this world would not be where it is today. We might not have the invention of electricity, running water refrigerators, microwave popcorn..._

Toushiro shook his head. Ever since the dragon had tasted microwave popcorn the last time he had been in the world of the living he had taken a strange almost obsessive liking to it. He folded up his sheets and rolled up the futon sliding them into his closet before taking out a clean shikahkusho to wear that day. His fingers briefly brush over the immaculate white fabric of his captain's haori, lamenting that he could not wear it in his current state.

_Enough of that, Toushiro, now too the office with you._

The white haired boy sighed, _Why are you so happy today?_

The dragon just shrugged and beat his wings irritably; I _don't know I just am._

Toushiro raised any eyebrow. Hyourinmaru was known for not being a morning person so why was he so bubbly that morning? If possible he could have sworn that the bad feeling in his stomach got worse. He knew that the day was going to hold some sort of horrible trial for him and he was not looking forward to it, not at all.

("\(^.^)/")

_Maybe it was something you ate?_

Toushiro growled. He could not take this right now. He was slumped over his desk unable to even pick up his pen from a severe twisting pain in his lower abdomen.

_No I told you I didn't eat anything different this morning. And it's not my stomach that hurts..._

The dragon sighed. Toushiro could feel his icy presence circling in his mind sending out waves of comfort. He knew the dragon could not block out pain but he could attempt to soothe him.

_Maybe It's hunger pains..._

_No it feels different from those. I don't know Hyourinmaru, god what's wrong with me?_

_Relax, look just close your eyes and try not to think about it._

_My eyes are closed but that doesn't make any difference._

Toushiro moaned softly and rubbed his lower abdomen attempting to abate the pain. Seriously what was wrong with him? He had never felt anything like this before. Was it some sort of disease he had contracted? Did he eat something that was off? He did not remember doing such. What if his body was breaking down on him? What if he had somehow developed a terminal illness that was eating him from the inside out? That was what it felt like. He could not even sit up straight because it hurt too much. All he could do was lean over and rub his stomach hopping for the pain to subside. He swallowed a small whimper and shut his eyes even more tightly. Seriously, what was going on with him? If it was some side effect of the antidote Kurotsuchi had given him he would kill the man. He had never mentioned anything about this, whatever it was.

_Does it hurt that much? _Hyourinmaru asked genuinely concerned.

_Yes!_ Toushiro moaned.

_Are you sure that you didn't do anything, eat anything, strange._

_No, I didn't you were with me the whole morning._

_What about before you went to bed?_

_Not that I can remember._

_Well this is strange. The only conclusion that I can come to in this case is that potion. _

Toushiro bit his bottom lip. _Yes but why?_

_I don't know maybe your body is rejecting it in some way. Kurotsuchi did say that it would be like your body would be fighting itself._

_I hope you're right. But whatever it is I can't stay like this for the whole day._

He gritted his teeth and uncurled himself. A sharp spasm short through his pelvic area, he bit back a moan. Okay, so maybe moving was not the best option. He doubled over, resting his forehead on the cool, smooth surface of his desk.

_What is this, Hyourinmaru?_

The dragon was about to answer but the sound of the office door sliding open prevented him. Toushiro growled, who the hell would be disturbing him so early in the morning? It was not even ten o'clock yet.

"Good morning, Taicho!" Rangiku sang as she bounced merrily into the office.

Toushiro frowned of course it would be her, why had he even asked. But why was she here so early? She usually only came to work after midday, heck she usually woke up after midday. And seventy per cent of the times it was with a hangover. Maybe she had a revelation or something that warned her about the effects of alcohol abuse or what would happen if she continually skipped out on her job. But whatever it was these past few days had found Matsumoto in the office only an hour after the working day began. Something was definitely up but at the moment he was in too much pain to think about it. He let out another small groan as his stomach contracted painfully.

"Taicho, what's wrong?" She asked, shock and worry apparent in her voice. She quickly made her way over to his desk.

He felt her presence over him and a comforting yet light hand was placed on his shoulder. When he did not respond to her she began to gently rub his shoulder.

"Taicho..." She asked again, her voice soft and full of concern, it was not every day that she entered the office to find her captain hunched over his desk moaning in pain. Something had to be terribly wrong. It was not often that he got sick but when he did it was always extreme. "What's wrong?"

He opened his eyes a fraction of an inch to regard his lieutenant, "I don't know. It-it just hurts." He indicated his lower abdomen cradled in his left arm.

Rangiku was shocked never before had she seen her captain in such pain, and that was saying a lot. She had seen him nearly get sliced in half on the battle field and not so much as bat an eyelid. Yet, here he was taken down by what looked like a severe stomach ache. But still, it had to hurt a lot to make him wither like this. She put an arm around his shoulders rubbing them up and down. He felt tense under her touch but seemed grateful for the contact.

'Now to get to the bottom of this,' she thought. Had he eaten too much, too little perhaps? Maybe he was allergic to something. It would not have been this first time. Hunger pains were always a possibility, and then that could be linked to other problems as well. He could have just pulled a muscle at least. Though, she knew that that was not the problem.

"Did you eat anything this morning, Taicho?" She asked soothingly.

He nodded, "Yes, but nothing out of the ordinary."

"Do you think you might have been allergic to anything you ate then?"

"No, this doesn't feel like an allergic reaction."

Hmmm, she was stumped. What could be making her little Taicho hurt so much? She heard that irregular eating habits could lead to stomach or intestinal problems, but if she knew her captain well that was not the problem either. He was a man of schedule, he had each day planed out from when he would wake up to when he would come to the office to even when he would break for the bathroom. So she knew that irregularity was not the problem.

She scoffed a little at the thought, her Taicho being irregular that sounded as if... All of a sudden her eyes widened as realisation dawned upon her and she let out a small gasp. He was a girl now wasn't he, a girl that was soon to hit puberty, also? She briefly wondered if the potion would affect him to _that _extent, but taking a look at him almost curled up in a ball at his desk clutching his lower abdomen she knew it did. A small blush appeared on her cheeks, she never had dreamed that she would have to explain something like this to her captain.

Despite him being in pain, Toushiro heard her light gasp, and it worried him. "Matsumoto, what's that about?"

"Well..."She scratched the back of her neck, "Where exactly hurts, is it around your pelvic area?"

Toushiro raised an eyebrow, "... Yeah."

"And is it like a really painful cramping?"

"... Yeah..."

"Oh dear." She really never had thought that she would have to explain to her _male _Taicho about anything like this. She shook her head; this was going to be awkward.

"M-matsumoto ... W-what..."

"Well Taicho don't panic or anything, but I have reason to believe that you have... well... how to put this... um..." She took a deep breath. Of course this was nerve racking, she was about to tell a boy that he had just started his period! "Well, Taicho you seem to have... um... gottenyourperiod..."

He blinked, and stared at her then blinked again. Then he curled back over clutching his stomach.

Rangiku raised an eyebrow, "Taicho didn't you hear me? I said it's not that serious you've only gotten your..." She paused; maybe he didn't even know what that was. He should though... come to think about it how did he even find out about the birds and the bees; she certainly didn't remember enlightening him. She just recalled her Taicho coming fully equipped with that kind of knowledge, she had never stopped to think where he had gotten it from.

"No Taicho, you're not dying," She sighed, "Even though it sure feels like it."

"You know how I feel right now?" He groaned.

"Yeah, once every month."

"... What...?"

"What I'm saying is that you've gotten your period."

"I-I-I ...what?" In shock he jumped up out of his chair but lost his balance and landed on the floor.

"Taicho, relax its nothing that bad-"

"What the hell is with all this blood?" He was staring at the chair which he had just vacated, of course it was stained. "Oh my god! I'm dying, I'm dying, Matsumoto what the hell is going on?" He was able to forget his pain for the moment and decided to panic instead.

"No, no Taicho, it's not that bad, it happens to everyone, just calm down."

"Calm down? How do you expect me to calm down when my body is going haywire in front of my own eyes? What's wrong with me?"

"I've been trying to explain it for you for the past two minutes, Taicho, you've started your goddamn period!"

That shut him up. He stared at her incredulously, "My w-what?"

She smiled at him gently, "Your period, menstrual cycle, your monthly."

A deep blush spread across his face and he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor at that very moment. "S-so does this means that I'm not dying?"

"No, Taicho. Come on let's just get you cleaned up; I have some medicine for those cramps too. I'll explain later."

He sighed and allowed her to help him up wincing as another twisting jolt shot through his lower body. God was he going to kill Kurotsuchi after this.

("\(^.^)/")

"So let me get this straight this is going to happen to me _every _month, for a week each month?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Oh my god..."

Rangiku smiled and ruffled his wet hair. He swatted her hand away annoyed. She had made him take a warm bath and now he was sitting curled up in the tub, he didn't even know that they had single person bath tubs in the Seireitei, with Rangiku watching over him and explaining the workings of the female body. Wow, Hitsugaya-Taicho how were you able to turn such a vibrant shade of red? Can you teach me?

"I didn't think that Kurotsuchi would have made the potion so... potent. Why me?" Toushiro fumed.

"What was that, Taicho?"

"Why me? Why does this happen?"

The blond woman cocked her head, "Well, you see, as a girl reaches adulthood her body changes so that she can have children. Once a month her body prepares itself for a baby-"

Toushiro felt his blush intensify, "No, I don't think I need to know all of that just yet!"

_You'll have to learn about this sooner or later, Toushiro, don't you want to know what's happening inside your body?_

_It's not my body, I'm male remember? And I think you are taking a little too much joy in this entire situation._

_Why would I not? My little Shiro-chan is becoming an adult; this is an exciting moment in my life!_

_So none of this is weird to you? It's not weird that I am experiencing adolescence as the WRONG gender?_

_Mmmm, if you're willing to over look some minor details..._

_Minor! There is nothing minor about this, Hyourinmaru! I'm freaking bleeding!_

_ As Rangiku was clearly explaining to you, it's not that big of a deal._

_ To women! It's a big deal to me, me who is not supposed to even be female in the first place!_

His ranting was cut short by a splash of water to the face. He spluttered and glared at his lieutenant, "What was that for?"

"You don't have to be so immature about it. One day you're going to get married and you're going to wonder why your wife chews you out once every month. Don't you want to know what exactly is going on?"

"Not really, this is awkward enough as it is."

She laughed, "It could be worse."

He raised an eyebrow, "Really, I don't see how."

By now we should know that our little Shiro-chan is always wrong when it comes to situations like these.

"Of course it could, you could still be male and I could be charged with explaining to you why men get wet dreams."

You could hear the crickets chirp in the bathroom around that time, not even Hyourinmaru could comment to that, and he had a hundred and one snappy comebacks for any situation prepared beforehand. He stared intently at the soapy water; he never knew how interesting bubbles were until now. They were all round and shiny and colourful, it was mesmerising the way they bobbed up and down in the cloudy water. You would think that Matsumoto would have the least bit of modesty when it came to her tongue. You could have lit a bon fire with the heat that was radiating from his cheeks. She just had to prove him wrong didn't she?

Sensing his discomfort she cleared her throat, "Anyway, moving on... you would at least want to sympathise with you wife when the times comes."

"I can sympathise with anyone who has to go through this... this is horrible, you mean you have to go through with this every month for the rest of your life?"

"Well there's menopause, but that's a different story. So, Taicho... does this mean you'll go easy on the paperwork when my time comes, since you know what it feels like?"

"Not a chance. You avoid so much work that I can't even think about giving you an ounce of sympathy."

"And to think that I gave you medicine." She pouted before splashing him in the face again.

He scowled, wiping his face, "Stop that you're getting water all over the place."

"You're no fun Taicho, you're supposed to splash me back, and then we start a water fight."

"How infantile and foolish, Matsumoto, there's no way I would do that."

She sighed, "Fine, Mr. Party-pooper, be that way. Oh and a warning your hormones are going to be all over the place."

_You mean more than usual? _Hyourimaru sounded horrified, _I'm beginning to think that you should have stayed male, Toushiro._

_Beginning..._

_I can take the new emotions, I understand your new trend of thoughts, I take pleasure in the new curves, but please no more hormones! Omg (A/N: lol Hyourinmaru just used internet language XD) imagine you being horny! ...Somebody should warn Yuichi, though._

_... I'm going to pretend that I did not just hear any of that. _

_You love me and you know it, Toushiro._

_Do I?_

The dragon did not reply but just smiled smugly at him while drawing a heart in the air with his tail. Toushiro wondered if the potion really did not affect his inner spirit also.

* * *

**Sooo was it totally horrible? I hope to dear god that I was able to do this justice.**

**I'm sorry if it sucked T-T**

**I've realised that I've been making Matsumoto quite motherly when it comes to Toushiro... oh well**

**review... please.**

**-Mymomomo**


	14. The drill sergeant from hell

***peaks out from behind a rock***

**Yes believe it or not I am still alive -_-' it's been like what two whole weeks or more? First things first I know I said that this was going to get updated faster since I had more free time well I don't know who told me to sign up to help with a daycare/summer camp...**

**Well that's my excuse. Don't kill me for taking so long with this chapter, the five year olds already take of the murdering T-T**

**Disclaimer: I am proud to say that I now own bleach**** and it's lemon scented****, I went shopping yesterday. I also got fabric softener ^^**

**Enjoy the chapter...**

* * *

"Everybody line up!"

That was the voice of a drill sergeant, one of those mean ones who shouted to people even when right next to them and spat when they spoke. Except this one was a woman by the name of Sakura no last name, just Sakura (A/N: sorry for the lack of creativity at the moment... I thought that it would also be slightly ironic and I don't really like the name Sakura) dressed in a light pink kimono and makeup to kill. She was tall, though only a few inches taller than Rangiku, with dark brown hair and even darker eyes. She wore a fake smile, except when shouting, and permanently held a light green fan in her left hand(which she also used like a caning stick, akin to when Nanao hit Kyoraku expect much, much harder). All five women, well four women and one boy in a girl's body, were downright terrified of her, and it had only been three minutes since she had come. Toushiro rolled his eyes. Only the SWA (and himself of course) could find themselves in this sort of situation. Nanao had decided that she wanted the beauty pageant to be 'professional' so she had hired an 'expert', a well versed woman of the world of 'beauty,' to train the unlucky contestants (keyword unlucky).

He stood in between Soifon and Matsumoto trying not to look too pissed off, well no that was a lie, he was trying to look as pissed off as he could. Maybe then they would get the idea that he did not want to be there right now and let him leave.

_Wishful thinking my dear boy, we both know that that's not gonna happen. At least try to enjoy this, for both of us. I really don't need three full hours of you mopping over the loss of your masculinity._

Toushiro shook his head at the dragon's comments and decided not to answer. Instead he turned his attention back to the slave driver from hell slash beauty pageant expert. She was walking up and down the short line examining each of the Shinigami.

"I want each of you to introduce yourselves, say your name why you entered the competition and any other information that you may deem important. We'll start with you." She pointed at Nanao who was standing at the end of the line.

The bespectacled brunette pushed her glasses further up her nose, "I am Ise Nanao, lieutenant of the 8th division and vice president of the Shinigami Women's Association. I decided to take part in the competition because... well to help the SWA gain funds, nothing more."

Sergeant Sakura (as Toushiro had so ingeniously dubbed her) nodded curtly, "It's a pleasure to meet you Nanao," She regarded her for a second, "Though something will have to be done about those glasses for the pageant." Nanao frowned slightly. "Next please."

Rukia snapped to attention. "I'm Rukia Kuchiki-" that was all she had got out before the sergeant cut her off.

"A Kuchiki!" She exclaimed, Toushiro could have sworn that her eyes started to sparkle. "I am honoured to be working with a member of one of the noble families. It's such a privilege to be able to do so. I am so glad that you decided to enter this competition, thank you my dear for giving me such honour."

Rukia scratched the back of her neck obviously taken aback, embarrassed and unsure how to respond, "I... um... you're welcome?"

She smiled at her one last time before turning to Soifon who was standing next to rukia. "And you are?"

Soifon narrowed her eyes at the woman, none too pleased at the addressing, "Soifon-Taicho, captain of squad two and commander of the Onmitsukido." She glared at the woman daring her to say anything else upsetting.

"And you entered this competition because?"

"Because of Lady Yoruichi, who wished that I did so." Soifon grumbled folding her arms across her chest.

"Yoruichi Shihoin? Are you affiliated with the noble family?"

"You could say that."

Sergeant Sakura shot her a sickeningly sweet smile, "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, please send my regards to the Shihoin family. Now who is next?"

There was a long silence before Rangiku elbowed her Taicho in the ribs.

"Ow, what the hell woman?" Toushiro snapped rubbing his side and glaring at both his lieutenant and the offending sergeant who was standing in front of him waiting for him to speak.

"And who is this... delightful little girl? You aren't in the competition too my dear, it's for older women I'm afraid."

Toushiro gritted his teeth and scowled deeply.

_Easy there, Toushiro, she did not know any better. There's no need to encase her in a block of ice._

_I do not like this woman, Hyourinmaru._

_Yeah, I got that feeling._

"Actually Miss Sakura ma'am ," Nanao cut in, "She is part of the competition."

"Oh really?" Toushiro bristled at the surprise and disapproval in the woman's voice.

"And she's much older and more mature than she looks."

Sergeant Sakura stared at Toushiro a bit longer before shrugging, "Well there's a first time for everything. And what is your name?"

"Kaida Matsumoto," He said through gritted teeth.

"And..."

He glared at the woman until Rangiku elbowed him in the ribs again. He grunted in pain, "And I don't want to be here."

_She's gonna hate you for doing that you know._

_I merely stated the truth._

Rangiku placed a hand over her face in exasperation while the sergeant looked like she was about to do some serious reprimanding. But before she could start Rangiku took matters into her own hands.

"Manners Kaida. I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, Lieutenant of the 10th division and this little terror's cousin, please forgive her by the way. I entered the competition because I thought it would be a fun experience."

_Little terror?_

_That fits you to a 'T' don't you think, master?_

_Just whose side are you on, Hyourinmaru?_

_Mine._

Sergeant Sakura turned to the buxom blond woman and pasted a small smile on her face. At least one of you has manners," she hissed with a pointed glare at Toushiro. He was tempted to stick his tongue out at the she-devil. "It's nice to meet you Rangiku. Well this isn't the best group I've had to work with but I'm looking forward to working with most of you." Another look was sent Toushiro's way, "How many of you have been in a beauty competition before, raise your hands."

*crickets chirping*

"...Anyone?" The sergeant placed a hand to her forehead and glared at each one of them in turn. "So that means that I will have to start from the basics. Miss Kuchiki, please walk to the other end of the room and back."

Rukia swallowed and paled visibly but did as she was told, albeit very haltingly.

Upon her return Sergeant Sakura shook her head and glared even harder. He practically saw Rukia shrink into her skin. He did not see the problem; Rukia had walked across the room like how anybody else would have walked. Seriously, what was this woman's problem?

With a sigh the sergeant spat, "You all have much to learn."

What was there to learn, Toushiro wondered. The answer; a lot. Apparently there was a right way to walk in a straight line... and a wrong one. Who would have guessed?

"That was utterly terrible. Your posture was horrible, your footsteps too loud, you walked with no purpose, you were _swinging _your arms, and heaven help us you do not stare at the ground!"

Rukia blushed at the woman's comments and hung her head.

"I want you to try that again, Rukia. Do that again except this time I want your back straight and I want you to look dead ahead at where you are going."

Rukia blinked but followed the sergeant's instructions. When she came back the brown haired woman buried her head in her arms.

"Well that was... better. Anyway moving on, Rangiku," She pointed her fan, "Please follow Miss Kuchiki."

The next hour or so was spent with each of the women and one boy in a girl's body walking up and down the room with straight backs and eyes glued to the position in front of them.

_You know I had no idea that this would be so much fun._ The tone of the dragon's voice showed that he thought that it was anything else but fun.

_It's not too late to back out yet._ Toushiro pointed out wanting nothing more than to run out of the room that moment. He would gladly take on a menos grande an adhujas even, he was willing to go up to arrancar class just to get out of that room, heck he would do all his division's paperwork without complaining at that point. Anything was better than this anything at all. Even though he was the renowned child prodigy, the youngest person ever to achieve captaincy and bankai, the master of the strongest ice-snow type zanpakuto, apparently he could not walk in a straight line to save his life.

And his life needed saving right about this moment. He saw the 'sakura sergeant' glaring at him as he took a quick glance at his feet.

_And here I was thinking that I was walking in straight lines my whole life. How the hell am I supposed to do this without looking where I'm going? She said to focus on what's in front of us which is a wall! Even if I take a sharp right turn do you wanna know what's gonna be in front of me? The same freaking wall! We can't judge... straightness by looking at a wall. If we come at it head on or from an angle it will look the same, we can't gauge if we are walking in a straight line by using a freaking wall!_

Hyourinmaru chuckled. _Who would have guesses that you, high and mighty Toushiro Hitsugaya, would not be able to walk in a straight line. Look, I mean everyone else is doing it; Rangiku's got it down pact. What's so hard about it?_

It was true that everybody else was now 'professionally' walking and stood to the side waiting for Toushiro to get it down. He forcefully let out a deep breath. Reason one why he had not wanted to do this ridiculousness in the first place.

"No no no no," Saku-sregeant stopped him shaking her head, "Kaida, you walk like a man. This certainly won't do."

Toushiro stared at her his mouth agape. He walked like a man? Well he damn well sure hopped so.

_I know I walk like a man, I am a man goddamnit! Reason two why I didn't want to do this. _

The dragon just chuckled and shook his giant head, _"Well I would hope that you walk like a man, otherwise..._

_Don't you dare finish that sentence, Hyourinmaru._

_Okay I won't but a word of advice, master; you should really learn how to converse with me while still maintaining focus on the outer world._

_And you say this because..._

_They're moving on to heels now._

_... W-what? No no no no no no no, if you think that I will-_

"Look Kaida, I've chosen these ones especially for you." Toushiro was snapped out of the comfort of his mind by Rukia holding a pair of black five inch heels in front of his face.

All he could do was stare with his mouth open at the offending piece of foot ware. There was no way that he was going to put his foot in _that_. No freaking way, it was already asking too much of him even being in the god-forsaken competition. Wearing heels, _five inch_ heels at that, was out of the question.

_I think that they would suit you, master._

Toshiro knew that he really should not ask the dragon but he still went ahead. _Why do you say that?_

_Hmm well a pair of black heels; sexy yet functional, that right out spells your name. Don't you think so?_

_No I do not think so!_ Toushiro managed to hide his blush. He should have expected that from the dragon. _Hyourinmaru I am really starting to worry about you..._

_Why, you are sexy are you not?_

The white haired boy facepalmed this time the furious blush made its way on to his face.

"Kaida are you alright?" A concerned question from Rukia, who was seriously concerned for the young girl er boy's well being. She had looked extremely pissed off when she saw the shoes and now she was blushing like there was no tomorrow. She briefly wondered if Kaida was all there in the head. She had not known the young girl for very long but from what she gathered, she was very, very strange.

Toushiro glanced up at Rukia who was staring at him like he had sprouted a second head. Oh dear, had he somehow scared the girl?

_No offense, master, but you can be scary._

_Just like how you can be incessantly annoying. Shut up for a while wont you._

"Yeah, I'm fine Kuchiki, nothing to worry about. Everything's just freaking peachy."

("\(^.^)/")

"Smile Kaida. Come on smile, smile, smile you little demon, smile goddamnit! ... Fine don't smile."

The rest of the women chocked back a couple of snickers. Sergeant Sakura and Kaida coughToushirocough had been butting heads for most of the day. She had even given him the nickname 'little demon' in return he ignored all the instructions she shouted at them. The sergeant wanted them to smile and look pleasant but the only thing Toushiro had done so far was to deepen his scowl and look even more pissed off.

"I wasn't planning to you old hag."

Nanao sighed and wondered if forcing Hitsugaya-Taicho to take part in the competition was a good idea in the first place.

("\(^.^)/")

"My feet are killing me!" Toushiro moaned plopping down on the sofa in the 10th division administrative office. The past three hours had gone something like this; step, wobble, wobble, step, wobble, pause, regain balance, take a deep breath, tiny step, ignore pain in feet, wobble, tilt, step, step, trip, repeat process.

Rangiku sat down next to him rubbing her own feet. "I would normally say something like beauty is pain, but I have to agree with you Taicho, walking around in five inch heels for the better part of three hours is pure torture." (A/N: I really wonder how some of those women do it; the longest I've lasted in heels was a whopping thirty minutes... not a pleasant memory.)

"I don't think I can take anymore of this. Tell Ise that I am considering...no, that I am dropping out of the competition."

Rangiku cocked her head, "But didn't she use blackmail to get you into the pageant in the first place?"

Damn. He hung his head, why, why, why did everybody love to torture him so. It was like it was international torture Hitsugaya-Taicho month or something.

"Oh don't worry Taicho, it isn't that bad, I'm sure you'll start to have fun sooner or later."

He raised an eyebrow at his lieutenant, "Really, because I don't think that losing all feeling in my feet would fall under the heading, having a good time. Well, when I do start to have fun be sure to inform me Matsumoto."

"Next week we get to try on our swimsuits, which should be fun..."

"I don't think that's exactly my cup of tea, I've never wanted to take up swimsuit modelling in my life."

Rangiku tugged a lock of her hair her mouth twisted into a sort of smirk, "Okay I get that you're not exactly thrilled to try on a bikini but think of it this way you'll get to see a bunch of babes in swimsuits. Hello eye-candy!"

Of course she would say something like that; she would not have been Matsumoto if she had not. But still did she have to phrase it like that? He felt yet another blush rise to his cheeks and barely refrained from slapping his forehead.

"I'm not some kind of pervert, Matsumoto..."

"No but you are a red blooded male... on the inside. It would be only natural that you would enjoy seeing women in bathing suits." She said it with such a serious expression on her face that Toushiro wondered if what she was saying and what she thought she was saying were two completely different things.

"Matsumoto," He growled.

She laughed and leaned back into the couch, "You know we need to have much more conversations like this, Taicho, they're quite relaxing."

He scoffed, "Well maybe we would be able to have more free time if you would help me to do the paperwork."

She waved her hand, "Oh what is paperwork, but hours and hours of boredom?"

"It's our job, Matsumoto. Seriously how did you make Fukutaicho with that kind of work ethic?"

She just smiled smugly and folded her arms behind her head. They sat in silence for a while until the blond suddenly turned to Toushiro tilting her head to the side.

"Taicho..."

Toushiro sighed, "Yes Matsumoto?"

"Didn't you say that you had to ask me something, you know right before Momo, Rukia and Kiyone barged into the office trying to get you into the pageant?"

"Hmm," He thought back to that day, "Oh yes, I... um... well I need your help with something..."

"I'm all ears, Taicho!"

He took a deep breath. Again with the Takahashi topic, if only the boy knew how much trouble he was causing for him. "It's about Takaha-"

The office door suddenly slid open. The pair glanced over to the intruder. Toushiro was inquisitive and slightly relieved; Rangiku on the other hand was annoyed. And she should be, she was just about to have a heart to heart with her Taicho and that _never _happened in the 10th division. Though, upon identifying the intruder they switched demeanours.

_No way._ Toushiro moaned. Karma would have been proud to find a person that it was so effectively applied to. Who stood at the door was none other than the one that they were about to discuss; Yuichi Takahashi. (A/N: I was seriously debating on whether to stop the chapter here but after I've taken so long to update, I don't think I have the right to be that mean...)

"Ah... I suppose I should have knocked first," The boy muttered bowing his head.

"Nonsense," Rangiku exclaimed, "You are welcome in this office, in fact wanted in this office," she put a hand next to her mouth and whispered very loudly, "Between you and me Yuichi-kun, little Kaida over here needs to get out more."

"I heard that, Matsumoto," Toushiro growled narrowing his eyes.

"Heard what?" She sent him a genuinely confused look before smiling widely at Yuichi still posed in the doorway, "Well don't just stand there Yuichi-kun, come in, have a seat, I'll get the sake!"

"You'll do no such thing, Matsumoto! As I remember correctly you still have a stack of paperwork to complete." He glared long and hard at his lieutenant whose smile had faded to form a slightly guilty look.

"Oh, well I'm sure that you didn't come here to talk to me Yuichi-kun, I'll just leave you two alone." She was already out the door by the time she had finished the sentence. Toushiro did not even have time to register her first movement before she had disappeared.

"Matsumoto, come back here and do your job!" He buried his head in his arms. The very definition of frustrating was Rangiku Matsumoto when it came to paperwork. The two would make oil and water seem like best friends, putting them together was a major problem. And now he had another problem to deal with, the problem that was currently parked in his doorway (yes his doorway because he practically owned the office) scratching the back of his neck.

"Sometimes it's hard to tell who is supposed to be the one in charge." The brown haired boy grinned nervously.

Toushiro sighed then turned to him, "Matsumoto's right, don't just stand there, are you coming in or not?"

"Oh um sorry." He mumbled and walked over to the couch.

"Again with the sorry's Takahashi? I thought we had spoken about this." Toushiro was honestly trying to push down the awkwardness he felt at being with the boy. The boy who had admitted that he loved him.

"I haven't seen you around lately..." Yuichi attempted to start up a conversation. "It's like you've been avoiding me." A shot at a joke.

Toushiro blanched. It had not been that obvious, had it?

_Damn he's on to you, master._ Hyourinmaru snickered

_Shut up, I need a clear mind to tackle this._

_Okay then, shutting up._

"Don't be ridiculous. I've just been busy is all." Toushiro lied through his teeth. He had been too scared to even think about confronting Yuichi after the incident at the ramen stand, at least until he had figured out what to do about him.

Yuichi cocked his head, "Oh yes, the beauty pageant, how is it going by the way?"

"Wonderful."

The brown haired boy saw straight through that lie. "That bad, huh?"

"Ise hired a drill sergeant from hell to 'train' us. I would say that it's 'that bad'."

Yuichi chuckled softly, "She can't be that bad, who ever she is."

He raised a white eyebrow (A/N: now that I think of it having Toushiro wear that head scarf does not make any sense. People would be able to determine his hair colour by looking at his eyebrows wouldn't they?) "She calls me a little demon."

"For a good reason I'm sure."

"I didn't do a thing to get on her bad side. She just doesn't like me."

"Somehow I really doubt that, Kaida."

"Think what you will, Takahashi, all I told her was that I did not want to be in the stupid pageant. You could have sworn I called her ugly or something."

"Did you?"

"Yes, but that was _after_ she told me I couldn't do anything properly."

Yuichi smiled, "Now why would she say something like that?"

"I don't know. I was tripping a lot; do you have any idea how hard it is to walk in five inch heels?"

"No I'm sorry to say that I have no idea."

"Well it isn't easy, I had every right to trip-" Toushiro froze. The boy had done it again. How the hell was he able to make him talk so much? How was he able to make him feel so... at ease? The only person he ever talked to this much was Hinamori (and Matsumoto on rare occasions). This made him feel uncomfortable; the boy had this power over him, making him feel relaxed to be around him. (A/N: wow he feels uncomfortable to be relaxed what is that, an oxymoron?)

_I really do think that you like this boy, master._

_How many times do I have to tell you; I do not._

_Well if you really think about it, it could just be the potion reacting towards him; you're supposed to be female now right, so you could be developing a crush on him yourself._

_... Do you have any idea how wrong that sounded?_

_It's either that or you really are gay._

_The potion it is then._

Toushiro spared a glance at the brown haired boy who was quietly laughing beside him. As they say laughter is contagious, a small smile made its way onto Toushiro's face.

_Awwwwwwww you're smiling._

_I am not._

_Then what is that on your face?_

_There's nothing on my face, and most certainly not a smile._

The dragon raised a non-existent eyebrow; _Well it sure isn't a hotdog._

_... A hotdog?_

He shrugged, _Just admit it you like the boy. I mean he even makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside._

_He does not! I do not!_

_Do I smell denial?_

_No. I don't like him._

_I'm sure I can smell it._

_I. Do. Not. Like. Him. Hyourimaru._

_Yep it's confirmed, you're in denial._

_Ugh, you stupid dragon._

_Glad to be of help._

"Kaida what's the matter? You got angry all of a sudden."

Toushiro quickly turned towards the boy. Thank you Hyourinmaru.

_You're welcome, master._

_Shut up._

"Oh um it's nothing, my zanpakuto just said something stupid."

The boy laughed, "They do that often don't they?"

Toushiro felt himself smile again.

_Ha, __**again.**_

_Shut up!_

_Fine meanie._

"But apparently yours is more annoying than most."

"You have no idea," Toushiro deadpanned.

"What's her name by the way?"

_Her?_

_Can it. And yes her, if I am female it would make sense that you would be female too._

"Oh... um name. She's um..." Toushiro's mind had drawn a blank. "Um... k-katana ..."

_Nice, aren't you the ever creative one, master?_

_Shut it. I'd like to see you come up with something like that on the spot._

_I came up with your name didn't I?"_

_And I hate it._

_There's just no pleasing some people is there?_

"The name of your sword is 'sword'?" Yuichi stared at him incredulously.

Toushiro bit his bottom lip, "Yes... and she's really fussy about it so I would appreciate if you didn't say anything."

Yuichi shook his head, "You really are one of a kind, Kaida."

He raised an eyebrow, was that a complement?

"Anyway I really came here to ask you something."

"Oh? What is it Takahashi?"

The boy was silent for a while and twiddled his fingers together. He bit his bottom lip as if seriously debating on whether he should say it or not. Toushiro sighed; this indecisiveness was really going to be the downfall of the boy one day. So he decided to help.

"Spit it out Takahashi, I haven't got all day." Forcefully of course.

"Never mind, it's stupid."

"Yes the answer to whatever you were about to ask is yes."

_Now what in the name of Yama-jii possessed you to say that master? What if he wanted the answer to be 'no'? What if he was going to ask if you were really a guy?_

Ignoring his dragon he turned to Yuichi, who had a look of pure bewilderment on his face. "Now what was the question?"

A light blush spread across his cheeks causing Toushiro to feel uncertain whether he should have said yes or not.

"I-I was going to ask if you wanted to... to d-do something t-t-tomorrow."

Hyourinmaru burst out in uproarious laughter.

"...W-what do you mean?" Toushiro had frozen.

"D-do something tomorrow... w-with... m-m-me..."

Oh goddamnit. Of all the things why?

_Like a date._

_Shut it, Hyourimaru!_

"So w-what do you say?" The boy ducked his head in fear of rejection.

Toushiro sighed and rubbed him temples, "I- I already gave you my answer, Takahashi. I don't go back on my word."

The boy's eyes lit up like a child who had just been given a whole chocolate cake for himself. "Really? Oh, um that's great, that's wonderful, that's-"

_Why do I do these things to myself?_

_You're part masochist, master, I believe. But don't worry it's bound to be fun._

Toushiro eyed his inner dragon who seemed to be bursting holding back his joy. Oh what the heck.

_Go ahead, Hyourinmaru. I can see that you want to._

He shot him a grateful look before erupting in a joyous shout,_ FINALLY! I've only been waiting for ever for you to go out on a date! This is the happiest day of my life!_

_Okay that's enough... and it's not a date._

_Yes, master, whatever you say._

"So I'll pick you up at around ten?"

Toushiro sighed, "Whatever suits you Takahashi."

As the old saying goes; one man's meat is another man's poison. And Toushiro thought he had got the short end of the stick because all he had been getting so far was poison while everybody else seemed to be getting the meat.

* * *

**So how was it? (bet cha didn't miss that one)**

**once again sorry for the two week or more delay... and since we are on the topic of delays I am sorry to say that I a month's time updates will be getting REALLY slow. I will be moving -to go to boarding school- and the thing is the school provides us with laptops so my parents wont let me go with mine (I know unfair right? Parents these days)so until I get the new laptop -which will be aaaaaalllllllllllllll the way in September (sob) I won't be able to post anything until then(but I will still be writing in my handydandy note book!)**

**Review please.**

**-Mymomomo**


	15. The Love Guru

**Am back sooner than expected ^^ and with a new chapter xD**

**I can only promise you a bit of humour in the end though...**

**Oh and XShagayaku this chapter has your suggestion though it may not be as good as in the other chapter, if you prefer the other one then please be free to accept it as your suggestion and omit this one. Hehe**

**Disclaimer: I own bleach... and the internet, and KFC and Pluto.**

**And I present to you my longest chapter ever !**

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* * *

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(A/N: warning to all; I have no idea where I am going with this chapter.) "Wait, so let me get this straight," Matsumoto giggled from her precarious perch on the couch in the tenth division office. She was leaning over the back rest her feet swinging in the air. "Yuichi-kun is going to be coming any minute now to actually take you out on a date."

Toushiro grumbled his hand clutching his brush so tightly that he was sure that there were finger shaped indents in the smooth wooden handle. "Yes Matsumoto." She would have found out anyway so he had decided to tell her before she could ask any embarrassing questions, well more embarrassing questions.

"Awww, Taicho that's so sweet! I knew you would come around sooner or later, and Yuichi is just perfect for you. I'm so happy for you Taicho." She sent him an odd smile akin to a mother watching her daughter on the night of her first prom.

Toushiro sighed and wondered if Hyourimaru was able to communicate with other people because he and Matsumoto seemed to share the same views. "Matsumoto..." He growled in warning, "How many times do I have to tell you that-"

"I know, I know, Taicho." She cut him off idly waving her hand, "You do not like him. But, if you do change your mind he's definitely a keeper." She winked at him. She actually had the audacity to wink at him, the nerve of some people.

"Matsumoto!"

"Fine Taicho I'll stop. You don't have to be a spoil sport all the time."

He rubbed his forehead, "Matsumoto you have to understand that this is not a joke. Takahashi is in love with Kaida. I am Kaida, I am also male and unable to return his feelings. I'm sure even you can see that there's a problem there."

"... You do have a point." Rangiku said thoughtfully. She seemed to think for a while, chewing her bottom lip in concentration. "Well the only thing I can think of is explaining to Yuichi-kun that you just want to be friends."

"But he loves me!" Toushiro paused at the words he had just uttered. What the hell, he did not just say that, he did NOT just say that. He pulled his face into some sort of grimace and uncomfortably cleared his throat. "I mean, that is to say, if I let him down in that way the boy will most likely close up in on himself..."

Rangiku laughed quietly at the expression on his face, "Oh, Taicho, if he really loves you he will respect your wishes. You shouldn't worry about it so much, heck maybe you'll even find a new friend in him."

Toushiro cocked his head, "I-I don't know, Matsumoto..."

"Taicho, you're thinking too much. The most important thing is to have fun. Heaven knows even you need to let loose once in a while. You know what they say; all work and no play make jack a duller boy."

"Fine," he sighed, "I'll explain the boundaries of this 'relationship' to Takahashi, when he gets here."

"No!"

"But you just said-"

"I know what I said. Look, Taicho, only tell him you just want to be friends if he shows any major inclination of 'advancing' your relationship."

"Why?" Honestly, why should he do that? If he had something to say shouldn't he go right out and say it? He hated people who beat around the bush; he was always one to get straight to the point.

Rangiku sighed heavily, "Don't you know anything about this Taicho? If you go straight out and say that you just want to be friends he will obviously take it the wrong way and think that you don't want to see him anymore."

Toushiro stared at her in confusion, "And you know this how?"

Another sigh, this one more dramatic than the previous. "That's common knowledge, everyone knows that. Just like the words 'we need to talk' are always followed by a breakup."

He shook his head.

"By the way, Taicho, what is you take on all of this?"

"... The universe hates me. Hyourinmaru on the other hand finds it all incredibly amusing."

"Really, what did he say?"

"Nothing at the moment, he's been sleeping for the entire morning, still is."

"Sleeping?"

Toushiro sighed, "He was up for the whole night fantasising on my 'date' with Takahashi."

Matsumoto could not help but laugh at this. If only she could meet the dragon in person, they were bound to make an awesome pair. (If she only knew the half of it.)

"Taicho, I don't understand. If zanpakuto are supposed to be mirrors of your soul, then how come Hyourinmaru seems like a blast and you are a stick in the mud?"

"Matsumoto..."

"Fine, fine I'll stop." She was silent for a while and watched Toushiro fill out a few forms (forms that she was supposed to be doing.) "Taicho, come over here for a second please."

The white haired boy warily glanced over to her, "What now, Matsumoto?"

"Well since this is an actual date and not a 'lunch meeting' we seriously need to do something about your hair."

("\(^.^)/")

Toushiro and Yuichi walked slowly down a street in district four of Rukongai. Rangiku had suggested, or rather forced them to go there. She had said that there was going to be a small festival that day and it would be a good opportunity for them to 'bond'. Yuichi had taken up on the idea in a heartbeat. Toushiro had glared daggers at his lieutenant. He was going to make sure that she died a slow and painful death preferably with a lot and lot of ice.

Also, not only had she forced him to leave the relative comfort inside his division office but she had styled, yes styled not just brushed mind you STYLED, his hair. She was so dead when he got back, if he got back. He had no ideas if he was going to survive that day. Was it possible to die of embarrassment? He now looked like a girl, well more like a girl. She had resurrected a bottle of hair gel or mousse or whatever other hair product known to man (woman) and with much trouble had 'tamed' his haphazard locks. His hair now silky, smooth was tied in the ever so fashionable (or so Rangiku had said) half up half down hair style with the one bang that usually hung on the left side of his forehead swept to the side. Did he mention that he was going to kill her when he got back? No scratch that; he was going to torture her then kill her. Furthermore, she had gagged him and bound him to his OWN chair with binding kido andrope. No, torture and death might not be a fitting end for her after all... he was going to take away her sake then torture her then kill her.

He fumed silently beside the taller brown haired boy. He was honestly trying not to freeze everything within a mile radius, but his icy reiatsu still managed to affect their surroundings.

Yuichi shivered, "Odd it isn't supposed to be this chilly this time of year."

"...Oh sorry." Toushiro mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

They walked down the street in silence for a while.

_Hmm, can you say awkward?_

_I know, I know, but what can I do about it?_

_At least try to say something, to the boy, I mean he went totally out of his way to invite you here the least you could do is show him you're having a good time._

_Yeah but I didn't want to do this in the first place..._

_Oh suck it up, young man._

"So... Kaida," Yuichi began nervously.

Toushiro blinked, it was like the boy was reading his mind at times. But if he could really, then that would mean some serious trouble.

"Do you know where this festival thing is supposed to be?" Toushiro asked cutting the other boy off.

"Um... no. I didn't know about it before today, actually." He scratched the back of his neck.

Toushiro sighed. Damn that Matsumoto. He was in no mood to go looking all over the area for some goddamned festival that he did not even want to go to in the first place.

_That's mean, Toushiro. Both of them just want you to have fun._

_This is fun? Thanks for informing me Hyourinmaru._

_...Just play along why don't you._

_Fine, fine, I'll try._

"Let's go this way." He suggested pointing down a particularly wide street. "A lot of people seem to be going this way."

Yuichi nodded.

Turns out that was a bad idea. That street did in fact lead to the festival site. Toushiro had been hoping that they would not have reached the place so soon. He took in the people of all sizes dressed in their best kimonos weaving themselves in-between numerous brightly coloured stalls. Lanterns and neon streamers were hung from buildings and trees alike. Shrieks of joy could be heard and the smell of cooking food was tantalising. It actually looked quite enjoyable.

He resisted the urge to groan out loud, why did it have to be so easy to find the goddamn thing? He glared at a stall selling Dango. It was like the entire world was taunting him. He did not want to be here so soon.

_What, you wanted to spend some more alone time with Yuichi?_

_What the hell, Hyourinmaru?_

_Well you don't want to be here with him, so it's obvious that you would want to be somewhere else with him._

_What kind of logic it that?_

_Its true isn't it?_

_No. Whatever. Just leave me alone._

The festival was already in full swing when they got there. It was some sort of celebration in honour of a good harvest that year. Toushiro guessed that the people needed any little enjoyment that they could get; life in Rukongai, as he well knew was hardly pleasurable. He wondered how Matsumoto knew about it though. A pair of laughing, small children ran past them almost knocking him over in their haste and excitement. This was going to be a long afternoon.

He felt a large arm on his upper arm steadying him and preventing him from toppling over. He glanced over at Yuichi.

"So shall we look around?" he asked.

Toushiro grunted in agreement.

For the next couple of hours the pair wondered around various stalls taking part in some of the games offered, on Yuichi's part.

"You do know that they're over charging you for these things, right. They think because you're a Shinigami that you have a lot of money." Toushiro pointed out when the stall keeper named a ridiculous number just to toss rings over a couple of cracked bottles.

Yuichi shrugged and paid the man anyway, "It doesn't really matter to me. We are much better off than them anyway. I don't mind paying a little extra to help them out."

Toushiro rolled his eyes, "A little extra, that was nearly three times the price he told the people before us! And I know your pay check is not that big." Heck, he wrote it himself.

"Don't be so stingy Kaida." He joked and picked up a bright red ring. He examined it for a short while before aiming at a bottle at the back of the stall.

"I'm not stingy, Takahashi, as I remember you wouldn't let me pay for any of the things here."

He glanced over to him and grinned, "And you shouldn't, I invited you here so I will be treating you for the afternoon."

Toushro shook his head, "Foolish boy, you're going to end up broke within the next hour."

He laughed, "It's my money and I can do as I please with it. And I want to spend it this afternoon."

The white haired boy rolled his eyes and watched silently as he effortlessly sent the ring onto one the neck of the cracked dirty bottles. He shot a smug grin at Toushiro at his success.

He felt himself grow slightly annoyed, yet amused at the same time. "Oh please, Takahashi, that was nothing."

The boy raised a brown eyebrow and picked up another ring letting it sail through the air to join the red one around the bottle.

"You're pretty good," The stall owner observed, "But then again you are a Shinigami, I'd say that's an unfair advantage, you're trained to do this kind of stuff." He turned to a young man watching Yuichi. "Wouldn't you say so too?"

The man nodded.

Like hell, they were taught how to throw rings onto bottles at the academy. Toushiro rolled his eyes and was about to tell Takahashi that they should leave this stall and find another one, where they would not be judged but to his confusion and amazement, his grin grew larger.

"That's true," Yuichi agreed shrugging, "But what can I do about it?"

"Takahashi..." Toushiro warned. He did not want to draw any unnecessary attention to them. But before he knew it a dark blue scarf was tied around the boy's eyes. He couldn't help but slap his forehead. Honestly, he was worse than Matsumoto when it came to being inconspicuous... well no, no one was worse than Matsumoto, but he sure did come close. And he was going to embarrass himself (and Toushiro) into the next month. There was no way that he could get the rings over the bottles with his eyes covered. And now a rather large crowd had gathered around the small stall. The idiot.

"There's no way he can do that with his eyes covered," Someone voiced.

"I don't know, he is a Shinigami, I wouldn't put anything past him." Another person argued.

"But that's impossible!"

Toushiro growled softly, "Takahashi, stop this foolishness this instant-"

He was cut off by the dull clunk of a heavy wooden ring hitting a glass bottle. Toushiro's jaw dropped, he had landed a direct hit.

There were astonished murmurs from the spectators. But there was no way he could do that two more times.

Clunk, clunk.

The hell? He had to be cheating somehow. Toushiro's mouth formed a small 'o'.

"Did I get it?" The brown haired boy asked nervously pulling the scarf from around his eyes.

The crowd cheered, and he spun around obviously scared at the sudden noise from the large group of people that had not been there before he had been blindfolded.

"That was amazing, kid!" The stall owner exclaimed, "Remind me never to underestimate you Shinigami. Choose any prize you want." Turning to the same man form before he mumbled, "That was amazing he couldn't even seen for the last three, I tied the blindfold myself..."

A huge goofy grin was plastered over Yuichi's face when he turned to Toushiro. "I-I did it." He stammered obviously enthused and a bit surprised.

Toushiro shook his head and scowled lightly, "Bloody show-off." But still he was quite pleased if not impressed at the boy's skill.

_Do I sense slight jealousy?_

_Shut up, oh please. Why would I- a Taicho- be jealous of some unseated Shinigami? I could have done that just as well._

_This is coming from someone who can barely see over the counter._ He had a point though the top of the counter reached just below his nose.

_Why you little-_

"Which prize do you want, Kaida?" Yuichi asked.

Toushiro glanced at the wall of stuffed animals of various shapes and sizes. He had to stop himself from gagging. "No. You choose, Takahashi. You won it so it seems fair that you should choose." He really, really did not want to choose.

"But I won the game for you..."

_Awww, how sweet._

_...How cliché. Why is he so... ugh I don't even have a word for him._

_But you still like him anyway. And now you two look like a cute little couple._

_What?_

Toushiro nervously looked at the crowd did they just hear that? He turned on them, "What the hell are you all still doing here? The show's over, don't you have other things to be doing?"

The crowd began to disperse at the unexpected berating from a little girl who had not even hit puberty yet. Someone muttered something about children getting ruder each generation.

He decided to ignore the comment and turned back to Yuichi, "What were you saying, Takahashi?"

His response was to shove a huge stuffed koala into Toushiro's arms.

"Wha-"

"I chose, and am now giving it to you."

Toushiro looked down at the animal in his arms then to Yuichi. He sighed shaking his head, it was a kind gesture but now he would be stuck lugging this thing around for the rest of the afternoon.

After a short argument on who was going to haul around Mr. Eucalyptus (as Yuichi had christened the koala) they set out again into the masses of stalls. Toushiro had lost that argument, Yuichi had downright refused to carry it (politely of course) saying that since he was a guy and all it would look stupid for him to be holding it.

_Chauvinistic bastard._ Toushiro had inwardly grumbled.

Then it was found out that the koala had straps. Yes straps. So a problem was solved... for the most part as he did not have to carry the toy, per say. Mr. Eucalyptus now sat happily strapped to Toushiro's back. The white haired boy had cursed the toymaker to hell in every language known to man. He had most likely put a serious blight on the man he had never met, he would be lucky if he ever sold another stuffed koala.

"Hey, you hungry yet?" Yuichi asked.

Toushiro cut his mental fuming short and turned to the other. "I suppose. What do you wanna eat?"

They observed the many food stalls the festival had to offer. There were stalls for everything from Botamochi to Oshiruko (A/N: see end note for details). Yuichi studied the stalls for a good three minutes before saying something.

"How about some Amanatto?"

Toushiro did a double take. They had _Amanatto_ here? Of course he wanted.

_Easy there boy. You don't have to get so excited._

_Who's excited?_

He nodded and the head over to the Amanatto stall.

"I'll be paying this time, Takahashi."

The brown haired boy glanced over to him, "I don't think so."

"Why not? I'm not gonna let you spend all your money on me. I'll pay."

"No it's my treat so I'll-"

"You don't really want to go against my wishes, Takahashi."

"Was that a threat?"

"It will be if you don't give it a rest and let me freaking pay!"

"Okay, okay, I'll let you pay, happy now?"

Toushiro smirked smugly and subconsciously hoisted Mr. Eucalyptus higher on his back.

_Are we actually beginning to enjoy ourselves now? Was that a lover's spat I just heard?_

_Do you have to comment on everything?_

_...yep!_

_Ugh you moron._

_But you and Yuichi are just soooooo cute together! And when you argue it's just, _he ended the sentence in a high pitched squeal.

_... What the freaking hell was that? Hyourinmaru there is something seriously wrong with you._

_Nope, I'm fine. You two are just so-_

_Hyourinmaru, quick question._

_Yeah._

_Are you gay?_

The dragon chocked, _Wha- what you think I'm gay? How, why... why?_

_I just got this feeling. _Toushiro muttered rolling his eyes. _Why else would you call me and Takahashi ... cute? _

There was an awkward silence. The wind whistled through the icy plain of Toushiro's mindscape.

_So are you?_

The dragon huffed indignantly. _Oh you wanted an answer to that question. I personally thought that the answer was quite obvious. If I was gay then you would be to._

_Really?_

_Just what are you insinuating Hitsugaya Toushiro? Just for that I am not talking to you for the rest of the day._

_Childish much, Hyourimaru? And do you think you could make that the rest of the week? I am in some serious need of some peace and quiet._

No response.

_Oh come on Hyourinmaru there was no need to get so offended. You ask me if I'm gay all the time..._

Still no response.

_You know what forget you. I don't need this now, you're being stupid. It was just a simple question; you don't have to take it so personally. I just wanted to know, you had me worried for a minute there... Hyourinmaru! Answer me! Look what do you want me to do; apologize? Okay fine. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for asking you if you were gay. There happy? I said it I am sorry... Hyourinmaru come on what more do you want? Look I just- _(A/N: lol Shiro acts like he hates his dragon but he ignored him for what two minutes and he goes crazy. Haha, don't you just love Hyourinmaru?)

_Hollow._

_What?_

_There's a hollow here._

_That's impossible; there can't be a hollow in the Soul Society._

_It's right behind-_

Wham!

The next thing they knew the stall they were running to was smashed to pieces.

Toushiro froze in his tracks. While Yuichi's eyes widened. In front of them stood a large hollow, it was around twenty feet tall with a gargoyle-like mask. Fangs hung from its upper lip and saliva dripped from mouth like water from an open pipe. Tentacle-like things made a frill around its neck and they seemed to be moving of their own accord. It had a cat-like body with paws the size of a small child. It also had a long tail that ended in some sort of mouth which also seemed to have a mind of its own. It was only then they noticed that the screams of joy had turned into screams of terror as the civilians ran in every single direction trying to get away from the beast. It was too late for whoever was in the Amanatto stall.

"What is that doing here?" Yuichi demanded visibly angry.

Toushiro scowled pulling out the katana from its sheath on his side. Yuichi mirrored is movements. "It is possible that it was drawn here because of all the souls gathered in one place. But then even that doesn't make any sense because none of these people have any spiritual pressure. Plus hollows aren't even supposed to be able to enter the Soul society."

(A/N: yay battle time xD. Finally some action!) "Well I'm sure it didn't come for the dango." With that he leapt at the hollow.

"No wait, Takahashi!" Toushiro yelled but it was too late the boy had already disappeared. He let out a harsh breath. If it was one thing that Toushiro Hitsugaya did not like it was blindly rushing into a battle. He always liked to have a plan. Well it was a lower level hollow, and by the looks of it not able to even have sentient thoughts, so Yuichi should not be in too much trouble.

However, Yuichi would not be in trouble but the other people might. Toushiro went livid when he saw the hollow eye a skinny teenaged boy who seemed to be frozen in place.

With a quick Shunpo he appeared in front of the boy and took up a defensive stance. The boy let out a frightened gasp.

"What the hell are you still doing here, you idiot, run!"

The boy didn't need to be told twice he ran away almost as fast as Toushiro had been using Shunpo. He disappeared into the crowd faster than the eye could blink. Damn crowd. They could not battle properly if there was such a large number of people in the area. They would be putting them in danger. They needed to lead the hollow away from here. And just what was Takahashi doing? Honestly the hollow should not be that difficult to take care of. If only he had Hyourinmaru with him, the hollow would have been obliterated already.

He spied the brown haired boy in mid air fighting the hollow...'s tail. Damn, the tail did have a mind of its own. It would be like they were fighting two monsters at once.

Just then a blob of... wait, what the hell had just fallen on his shoulder? He looked up to see a gruesome face towering over him. Saliva was dripping from its bared fangs. Oh gross, was that what had just dropped on him? Then it roared, such a disturbing noise, Toushiro thought. It was a sound like ten thousand cows being slaughtered, all at the same time. Yeah, not a nice sound... or image for that matter.

He Shunpoed over to Yuichi before the thing had a chance to lunge at him. The boy was faring well against the tail except for the fact that the tail seemed to be exceptionally well at dodging.

"Takahashi, this is no time to be fooling around."

"I'm not fooling around." He answered taking a swipe at the tail. It manoeuvred away. "This thing is very-"

"Yeah whatever, bear in mind that you are only fighting part of the hollow. We need to get the whole thing away from here, otherwise it's gonna kill a whole lot of unnecessary people."

He nodded, "But lead it to where? And how?"

"Anywhere that has less, preferably no people, and as for how we both have spiritual pressure don't we?"

He nodded again, "Okay, I'll draw it away from here, you concentrating on getting the civilians out of harm's way."

It was odd being given orders. As a Taicho he had never been told what to do in battle. It was strange.

Yuichi swiped at the tail and this time hit it. It moved away at the last second though so he only managed to slice off a few inches of skin. Still it must have hurt because the hollow let out a pained howl and turned on the brown haired boy.

"Okay it's time to get serious, Kaida as soon as you're finished here follow me."

Toushiro nodded and Shunpoed to move the other souls out of the way.

Yuichi raised his zanpakuto and pointed it at the beast. (A/N: Yuichi's shikai is revealed xD sorry if I disappoint anyone, in my opinion I suck at making up things like this. Also sorry for the stolen name I apologise in advance to any Naruto fans, I promise to compensate Gaara later...) "Dageki, Kazekage!" (Blow, wind shadow!) (A/N: I did warn you.)

Yuichi's zanpakuto turned into a whip. (A/N: like I said in the beginning I really have no idea where I am going with this.)Yes it did seem slightly anticlimactic, the hollow actually stared at him in confusion, then there was a sudden gust of wind, it was nearly knocked off its feet. It roared then turned tail (pun unintended) and leapt at the Shinigami. Step one draw hollow's attention away from the civilians; complete.

Meanwhile on the ground Toushiro was able to gather a substantial amount of the people into one area and was ushering them to safety. There was a lot of crying, panicking and shouting. Maybe the phrasing was attempting to usher them to safety was better suited to this.

"Is everyone okay?" He asked observing the crowd. Most of them were shaken up but none seemed to be in any physical pain, mental maybe, but he could not help with that. "Okay I need everyone to remain calm so we can work together." There was no difference in their demeanours; they continued to panic.

He attempted to put a calm, gentle look on his face and turned back to the people, "We need to get out of here if you don't want to get hurt," He spoke loudly not letting anger seep into his words. "Look please, I'm trying to help you people! And to do that I need your cooperation..." It was not working, "would you stop shouting just for a moment you incompetent imbeciles?"

They stared at him. Honestly was it that difficult to take him seriously? So what if he was a little girl only a few inches (four to be precise) above four feet, with a koala strapped to his back and a shirt wet with hollow spit? Okay fine his appearance was laughable to say the least. But they could still be more accommodating. He was trying to save their lives after all. He sighed Yuichi had gotten the easy job.

A short way off Yuichi had managed to slice the tail off of the hollow so all he had to do was to slice the mask in half and he would be home free. He had lead the hollow to a clearing near a muddy lake. And as he could see Kaida had gotten the people out of the demolished festival grounds.

He turned his attention back to the hollow just in time to see it swipe a massive paw at him. He swung the whip at its face, he needed to put some distance between them, and short range was not his forte. The whip cracked and a small tornado was released from its end. The cyclone came into contact with the side of its face and few of the tentacles were shredded into bloody pieces by the winds. The monster howled in pain and jumped back a few paces. He let himself a small smile of satisfaction.

Just then he heard a scream. His body tensed up and his eyes flew to the source of the sound. A tiny girl of about seven years old had been playing near the shore of the lake. He swore, how come he hadn't sensed her before? She looked with wide eyes up at him and the hollow. Damnit run, he wanted to yell at her. The hollow spotted the girl too. Although, it was not capable of conscious thought it was not stupid either. And in its mind that little bawling girl was much easier prey than the larger boy in front of it. Needless to say, it changed course.

Yuichi swore and dove towards the girl with Shunpo. He was not a master at it but he was quick enough to grab the girl up in his arms before the hollow got to her. However, he was not quick enough to avoid the blow that was meant for her. Both of them were knocked into the lake. The hit was so forceful that Yuichi's body actually skipped a few times across the surface of the water before he fell under. He spluttered trying to keep afloat, which was not an easy task with the screaming, squirming girl in his arms. Then there was also the fact that blood was spilling out of a rather deep wound right below his left armpit. No to mention that the hollow was coming for them again; this was the definition of a sticky situation. He treaded water and held the girl close to his chest, what was he supposed to do? If he let the girl go she would most likely drown and he was not a strong swimmer either. The hollow was coming from above so he could not Shunpo out of the lake. If he used his body as a shield again he would mostly likely get himself killed.

Thinking fast, he transferred the girl to his injured arm, not the smartest thing to do but he was right handed and aimed his zanpakuto at the hollow. The whip cracked through the air and tornado was sent towards the hollow. However, because of the currents in the lake his aim was off and the tornado went wild. The hollow kept on coming. The girl buried her face into his neck and he protectively wrapped his body around her. He prepared himself for some major pain, if not death, wow what a way to go.

"Hado number 32: Okasen!"

A wide arc of yellow energy was shot towards the hollow. It was a direct hit; the hollow was knocked back towards the shore with a loud blast, a massive splash and a howl of pain.

"Kaida!" Yuichi exclaimed. He saw the white haired girl floating in the air a few feet behind him. She spared him a glance; he could tell that she was not pleased.

"Get the hell out of that lake, Takahashi, I can see that you're hurt from up here and for god's sake get that girl to safety!"

With that she Shunpoed towards the hollow, 'katana' (cue snickers) drawn level with its mask. Well he could count on Kaida finishing off the monster. He slowly swam towards the shore ignoring the pain in his side. It was difficult, not just because he could only use one arm but he was also trying not drown the poor girl. Eventually he made it and just in time too. He saw the hollow collapse onto the ground before disappearing into the atmosphere. He quickly studied the area for Kaida. He panicked when he did not see her but then he spotted her sitting up looking a bit dazed in the exact spot where the hollow had fallen down.

("\(^.^)/") (A/N: action done now time for funny !)

"Calm down, Takahashi," Toshiro ordered.

The boy was frantically pacing up and down while Toushiro sat calmly on a large rock.

"How can I calm down? That stupid hollow, those people worked so hard for that festival! And-and it just destroyed it just like that! Someone was even killed! All they wanted was a moment of happiness and then that stupid, stupid hollow turns up!"

"It's dead now, Takahashi, calm down all that pacing is not good for your wound."

He ignored him, "Things like this make me so mad! I would bring it back to life just so I could kill it again!"

"Yuichi!"Toushiro shouted. His head was hurting from when the hollow had fallen on him. He had thought that hollows were supposed to disintegrate as soon as you sliced their masks but that one had time to nearly suffocate him against the ground before disappearing. Things like that could only happen to him. At least he stopped Yuichi from pacing.

"Look, things like this happen. You could have done nothing to prevent it and you did your best to get rid of it. The people are grateful for what you did; there is no need to get yourself all worked up. Now come here so I can heal your wound."

_Master, I've already told you that Kaida would not know healing kido."_

_Well you can't expect me to let the boy bleed to death. I'll just close it; he can fix it up later._

The dragon laughed.

_What's so funny?_

_You do realise that you called Yuichi by his first name just a while ago?_

Toushiro blushed.

The brown haired boy sighed but sat down next to him an odd expression on his face.

Toushiro glared at the ripped flesh and cloth that covered Yuichi's left side. He took a deep breath but made no movement to start the healing kido.

"It there something wrong Kaida?" The innocent question had Toushiro blushing as if he had just spent a day on the beach.

He took another deep breath, "You'll have to take off your top..." He mumbled.

Yuichi also blushed but did as he was told.

_Holy shit! _Hyourinmaru exclaimed his red eyes going wide. _Who would have guessed that this little twig had a six pack!_

_Oh really I hadn't noticed. _ It was as it all the blood in his body had taken a one way ticket to his face.

_That's hot, that's really hot. I approve, Toushiro if you don't like the boy in that way at least make really good friends. That's really hot, wow!_

_Oh god, Hyourinmaru I do not need any more distractions. I'm trying to perform healing kido here. If something goes wrong-_

_Right we don't want to mess up that sexy, sexy, sexy body now do we?_

_Ugh, you're still doing it! I know he's hot! I don't need you to keep on reminding- I did not just say that. I did NOT just say that! Ugh... the things you do to me dragon._

_Hey, you said it of your own free will, I did not make you._

_Just shut up! I thought you weren't going to speak to me for the rest of the day._

_Oh please I could never stop talking to you._

_Unfortunately._

Toushiro turned his attention to the perfectly sculpted body in front of him. Wow, the shihakusho really did hide a lot... and honestly he liked it that way. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind (pointedly ignoring his dragon going off like a little fan girl). It was like all the blood stopped at his cheeks and did not even make it into his brain. That was problematic. He could not concentrate like this. Damn Kurotsuchi and his blasted potion. He ignored his racing heart and placed his hands on Yuichi's side.

It was hard like a rock, yet warm and soft. Wait did that make any sense? Oh great now he was reduced to a bumbling idiot. So what if he was touching someone's incredible body...No, NO and NO! He was not going to finish that thought. He was male and he did not find other males attractive. Except maybe this one in front of him... oh damn it all he was going to close his freaking eyes.

_Nooooo! Why would you do such a thing, why?_

_So I can freaking concentrate. Now shut up._

(A/N:Woot officially my longest chapter xD)

He finished healing the boy with not much more trouble. Except for the fact that he was fingering the boys abdomen, but he really tried not to think about it.

Once done he opened his eyes to see that Yuichi had also closed his own.

"Okay I'm done now Takahashi." There was a noticeable tremble in his voice. He cursed inwardly. He cleared his throat before continuing, "I-I didn't heal it completely I just closed the skin so it can tear open if you move too much. I suggest that you see the 4th as soon as we get back."

Yuichi observed the semi-healed wound he prodded it a bit with his good hand then looked up pleased at Toushiro.

_We did good! We did good!"_ Hyourinmaru exploded in his mind.

"Wow, Kaida, You really are amazing. Have I ever told you that?"

Toushiro felt his stomach flop. Damn that potion!

"You were able to defeat that hollow without even releasing shikai. And also you are able to use both healing kido and hado, without a chant. Thank you. If you weren't here today I would have been dead. I'm glad you said yes."

What the hell was this some kind of soap opera? Toushiro was frozen in place. What the hell was he supposed to do in situations like this? Matsumoto had never mentioned anything like this. He was at a loss here.

Then he felt it like a wave of static. Yuichi's eyes clouded over and his lips parted slightly. He slowly inched closer to him. Toushiro's eyes widened all sensors in his brain were blinking red. He stared wide eyed at Yuichi, the boy was zoning in... on his lips.

He snapped alert. Faster than he had ever moved in his life, Toushiro was on his feet backing away from the boy on the ground. (A/n: wow I just killed the mood... yay me!)

"Stop this Takahashi." His breathing was ragged and he felt his hands tremble slightly. "I think we need to get some things clear. I like you... as a friend, I d-do not wish to be more."

Yuichi stared hurt evident in his large hazel eyes. Toushiro felt a sinking feeling in his stomach; he had just done to the boy what he didn't want to do. "I understand. I apologise for my actions Matsumoto-kun." His tone was curt, forced even.

Toushiro had never felt so... he did not even know what he was feeling but it was horrible. Especially as Yuichi stood up and walked away.

_You see that was exactly what I was trying to avoid._

_... Don't worry he's just embarrassed. He'll come around eventually... I think. We really need to talk to Matsumoto._

Toushiro sighed, he was glad that he had stopped the kiss. He probably would have gone into denial if he didn't. But then why did he feel so... terrible. _I didn't want it, I know I didn't. At least I think I didn't..._

Damn that freaking potion!

* * *

**So how was it? ^^**

**I bet you're all thinking what the hell did I just do right? Well if you are just so you know I am too. The next chap is bound to have drama galore hehe... can't think of anything else to say... oh and these are the Japanese words from the chap: **

Botamochi: a sweet rice ball wrapped with _anko – a red bean paste_ (or _a_, thick azuki bean paste).

Oshiruko (also _zenzai_): a hot dessert made from _anko_ in a liquid, soup form, with small _mochi_ floating in it.

**Your reviews will help to save many koalas, like Mr. Eucalyptus, worldwide please donate to the cause, it's only a click of the button away.**

**-Mymomomo**


	16. bikinis and boysdon't go there

**I'M BACK!**

**okay first off i hate it here. The internet sucks, there may be something going on with Because the website keeps on loading with errors, or that may just be me... either way I couldnt update anything until now.**

**yes i am now in boarding school in Canada so my writing time has been literally chopped in half, another reason to hate it here. i will try to update as often as i can but the most i can promise is once a month maybe sooner depends on what happens.**

**Disclaimer: i don't think that Tite Kubo has a lights out time so therefor i don't won Bleach**

**now on with the long awaited chapter 16!**

* * *

"What the hell was he thinking?" Toushiro stormed furiously through his office. Forget the piles of unfinished (try un-started) paperwork on his desk there were much more important things to be worrying about. Such as Yuichi almost kissing him! He groaned out loud and nearly yanked a clump of hair straight out of his head.

_Relax, Toushiro, you're going to give me indigestion. He didn't actually kiss you and that's what matters. _Hyourinmaru glared at him obviously annoyed. _Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill._

Toushiro paused for a while. _ Okay first off this is a mountain not a mole hill. Yes I get that it's a good thing that he didn't kiss me but the fact that he tried is not. It's terrible! You said that Takahashi and I could just be friends but right now it's blatantly obvious that he has so much more than friendship on his mind! I can't take this anymore, Hyourinmaru. Give me hollows, give me arrancars, hell give me Aizen anything but Takahashi!_

_You would prefer Aizen to Yuichi?_

_It was a hyperbole. But right now I would seriously consider it. Why does it have to be me? Out of all the females in The Seireitei he had to pick me. Me, who isn't even supposed to be female in the first place!_

_Ironic, isn't it?_

_...Shut up, Hyourinmaru, this is serious._

_And that was serious irony._

_Hyrourinmaru..._

_Ok, ok. I know, master, but the way I see it-_

_I'm going to tell him._

_What..._

_I'm... I'm going to tell him who I really am. I have to explain-_

_Are you crazy Toushiro Hitsugaya?_

_What? Its either that or letting him pursue his crush on me and I definitely don't want that._

_ I – you – but – you – he... Don't do that! No you can't tell him. That'll ruin everything!_

_ Wha...?_

_You two are so cu... I mean, what if he can't keep a secret and this gets around?_

_I... well, it's a risk I have to take._

_An unnecessary one_

_Whatever you say, Katana._ Toushiro smirked at the dragon, who in turn sent him an icy glare much like the ones that Toushiro himself often sent to annoying people.

_That was your fault, Kaida._

Toushiro rolled his eyes. _ So I have to-_

"Taicho! That's where you are!" Rangiku Slid the office door open with a wide flourish, "I would have never guessed that you would have been in here." She stepped in, her arms folded across her chest and a playful sparkle in her blue-grey eyes.

"What do you want Matsumoto?" Toushiro snapped.

"We have a rehearsal for the pageant today." She was happily swaying from side to side.

He groaned again. Yes, he was hated by the universe, unlucky, inauspicious, ill-fated, doomed, whatever way you put it he was freaking cursed. "I'm not going. Tell the old hag that I'll be absent." He pushed Takahashi to the back of his mind and went over to his desk (the very same desk that was loaded with paperwork).

"Oh no you don't!" Rangiku grabbed the back of his Shihakusho and pulled him away from the desk (the desk that was filled with paperwork). He felt his eye twitch. "You've always told me to honour my commitments and this is no different for you."

"This is different. I was forced to do this. I do not have to honour anything."

_But think of all the people who will be disappointed, master._ The dragon snickered loudly in his mind.

_Lately it seems that my whole life has been revolving around pleasing others and quite frankly I'm sick of it._

He turned to his lieutenant, "I'm not going."

She cocked her head and gave him a sly grin. All of a sudden he got a sick feeling in his stomach. He'd been getting that a lot lately. She tackled him, that was all there is to say.

"What the hell, Matsumoto? Put me down this instant!"

("\(^.^)/")

"I can't believe this." Toushiro muttered. Once again he found himself sandwiched between Matsumoto and Soifon. He had been chewed out by the old hag as soon as he had gotten there.

"You're late, demon." She snapped as Matsumoto dragged him into the room.

He glared at her, "Sorry, it wasn't my fault, old hag. No one informed me of a rehearsal today."

"Just get in line. It's nice to see you, Rangiku." Her demeanour made a 180 degree turn-around when she spoke to Rangiku. It made him want to gag.

Sergeant Sakura clapped her hands once to get their attention, "Good day everybody. We had a... good practice last time. I was actually impressed – to some extent – by your progress. Today we will be having swimsuit fittings. The next practice will be for kimono fittings and the one after that will be to discuss talents and speeches."

The white haired boy sneered. This day just kept on getting better and better.

_Do I smell sarcasm?_

_You're suffocating in it right now. I have to wear a freaking swimsuit for crying out loud!_

_I knoooow. _The dragon had a far off look in his eyes like he was imagining something very aesthetically pleasing. _Hmmm... nice... very nice._

Toushiro felt a furious blush spread to his cheeks. _ You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking._

_French toast?_

_What?_

_Just make sure you pick a hot swimsuit. I know that there are a ton of guys out there waiting to see you. _

Toushiro was dazed, how the hell did Hyourinmaru's mind work? Hell, he didn't even understand what _he _was thinking sometimes much less for a part of his mind that could think and act for itself. Oh god that sentence just gave him a head ache; a part of his mind that could think for itself, whether he liked what it thought or not.

_Wow, I think that was a world record for the most confusing thought in less than three seconds. My, how fast your brain works Toushiro, it's no wonder they call you a genius. Anyway back to the swimsuits, pick a really, really sexy one now. I know you can pull it off._

_Hyourinmaru!_

_With a loud snicker the ice dragon retreated to the back of his mind. "I just don't want you to make a fool out of yourself._

_...Too late. _Toushiro answered with a groan.

When he turned his attention back to the real world Sergeant Sakura had pulled out a rack of bathing suits. Neon colours and dazzling sequins hit him like an avalanche of junk would have if he had opened an overstuffed closet. His jaw dropped and he felt his pupils dilate. He gapped like a fish out of water as his brain shut down on the spot. Even when everyone else went over to choose the swimsuit they wanted he was glued to the floor. Before this he had not known it was possible to be intimidated by women's swim wear. Only one thought passed through his mind. "No way in hell." He was not going to even touch those... things. Ise could tell the world right then and there that he, Hitsugaya Taicho, was a girl. He was quitting, screw this 'secret' his masculinity was on the line here. Pretending to be a girl was one thing, taking part in a beauty pageant was another, but wearing a bikini? Oh hell no. He stopped right there. Nothing in the world of either the living or the dead could make him wear that-

"Kaida, look at this one. It's perfect for you!"

He did not even want to look at the swimsuit Matsumoto was holding up. "No I'm not wearing that!"

"But you didn't even look..." She pouted.

"I don't need to. I'm not wearing any of them for that matter."

She frowned at him but soon shrugged it off and went back to sifting through the rack.

"So what's this I hear about not wanting to wear a swimsuit, demon?"

Toushiro jumped a mile at the sudden sound of the woman's voice. When the hell had she gotten behind him? Quickly, recomposing himself he shot a nasty scowl towards her, hopefully daring her to try that again. She sneered back at him.

"If you don't take part in the swimsuit round you are as good as disqualified. Not that I'm complaining." She flipped a lock of dark hair behind her shoulder and flashed him a look of pure disdain.

Toushiro's eyes lit up. He could forfeit the competition and save himself a whole lot of grief – and embarrassment. This was perfect! It was genius! It was-

"KAIDA!"

Damnit, Matsumoto! Couldn't she see that he was trying to formulate an escape plot over here?

"What Matsumoto!" He yelled back pleased that Sergeant Sakura had gotten most of his blast in her right ear. She jumped to the side her eye twitching.

"Watch it, demon." She hissed while rubbing her ear before stalking away to help a more... delightful contestant.

Toushiro hid a small smirk; even though shouting in her ear had been completely unintentional it still felt good.

Rangiku came over to him holding a bright red bikini splashed with gold sequins.

"What is that, Matsumoto?" He asked sending a death glare towards the piece of fabric. ('Cause something that small could not be considered an article of clothing in any way, shape or form.)

"A bikini." She gleefully stated.

He slapped his forehead. "Thank you doctor obvious, I know it's a bikini!"

"So why did you ask? Anyway I think this will look fabulous on you!"

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"No just no. I'm not wearing it."

"Why?" she pouted and folded her arms across her chest.

"Stop acting like a child, Matsumoto. And besides that looks like something you would wear."

She smiled brightly, "It's gorgeous isn't it? But I can't wear it, it's too small."

"Since when has that stopped you before?"

Her jaw dropped like she had been wounded or shocked at the insult. "That's mean, Taic- Kaida."

"But true."

Hyourinmaru shook his head and chuckled softly. _Toushiro, Toushiro, Toushiro._

_Don't you triple Toushiro me. Have you even seen the swim suit she wants me to wear?_

_Yeah, it's not your style. You shouldn't wear such bright colours it will make you look more pale than usual. Red will make you look like Santa Claus. Also stay away from pastels they'll make you look like a ghost. Stick to dark colours my little master._

_O...k... thanks for the advice..._

"So why don't you want to wear it?" Rangiku asked, holding up the bikini and looking at it longingly.

"First off I'm a guy. Secondly, it's not my colour."

_Talk about contradiction. You can't wear it because you're a guy AND because it's not your colour._

_But didn't you just say-_

_Yes but that wasn't for you to repeat out loud!_

_I hate you, Hyourinmaru._

Rangiku smiled eagerly and started to sprint back to the swimming suit rack, "Oh so if I got you like a black one you'd wear it?"

"What, no! No, no, no! Matsumoto NO!"

But the blond woman had already run off to find him the 'perfect' bathing suit. He slapped his forehead. Seriously what had he done to deserve this?

Five minutes later he found himself in a changing room with at least ten swimming suits piled in his arms. He growled what part of the word 'no' did his lieutenant not understand? He sighed and winced at the female swimwear in his arms. Matsumoto was actually standing guard outside the door. She had told him that she wouldn't let him out unless he tried them on. He could strangle the woman right about now. He had even threatened her with paperwork but she had locked the door anyway. But oh no, he was not going to crack. He was not going to bend to her wills. He would stay in the dressing room for as long as it took her to let him out. He was not going to wear any of those swimming suits. Okay, to tell the truth he had shouted and banged on the door, demanding her to let him out for almost all of the five minutes she had locked him in there. He could have tried kido, but breaking down the door with a demon art spell was probably not the best idea, no matter how appealing it seemed. He would sit down and wait until she got bored and let him out... or fell asleep. Damn! No! She could actually fall asleep waiting on him and _then _he would never get out. That woman slept like she was dead. He kicked the door.

"Matsumoto, let me out!"

Her voice came back muffled from the other side of the door. "Have you put on a swimming suit yet?"

"Let me out, woman!"

"Then no."

He growled. "My patience is wearing thin here."

"And so is mine- oh that's a nice one Rukia purple really goes well with you... No, I've already chosen mine... I'm waiting for Kaida."

"Matsumoto!"

"You should see the one Soifon got... I know, Rukia, it's absolutely gorgeous... It's kind of simple but it fits her so well... I don't think so. It shows what needs to be shown but hides the necessary. And it's yellow! I think that colour suits her so well it matches her skin tone... Don't you agree... what about you, Kaida?"

What the hell? Showed what needed to be shown? He felt a flush rise to his cheeks and wearily eyed the pile of bikini's Matsumoto had sent him in with. They suddenly looked very... small. He took a deep breath then turned back to the door, the locked and guarded door.

"Matsumoto!"

"Don't you agree, Kaida?"

"If I say yes will you let me out?"

"Have you got the swimsuit on?"

_Just put one of them on. _Hyourinmaru instructed with a sigh. _What can it hurt?_

_A lot. Try my pride as a man for one._ Toushiro scowled

_Look it would make this a whole lot easier if you just did as Rangiku said. The sooner you do this the sooner you can leave._

He sighed the dragon had a point. But he'd be damned if he gave in now, especially after he had convinced himself in every possible way that he wasn't going to put any of them on. But time was ticking and he wouldn't put it past Rangiku to leave him in there for the whole night. She'd probably shove him food from under the door or something.

He roughly dragged a hand through his hair and let out a forceful breath. _I can't believe that I'm doing this._

_You'll be thankful for it one way or another._

_I don't see how._

Toushiro slowly padded his way over to the pile of swimming suits and gingerly picked his way through them. Absolutely all of them looked like they would show more him than he would have desired to be seen. God, what had he gotten himself into?

He picked up a navy blue one and scowled wishing that it would disappear or burst into flames.

_This is no time to be picky, Toushiro. Just choose one and put it on._

_But I don't like any of them._

_Not this again! Just choose one, anyone!_

_Fine, fine! Alright. _ His scowl deepened and he dropped the navy swimsuit he was holding.

It was best to just do it quick. He closed his eyes and randomly picked one from the pile. Hopping that since they were all horribly revealing he would choose one that was somewhat modest. Ever so slowly he cracked open his eyes.

_Ha, tough luck buddy._

Well at least it was a one piece.

_You've got to be kidding me!_

_Well I think it looks nice._

_You've got to be kidding me!_

_It suits you actually, innocent and cute yet sexy at the same time._

_You've got to be kidding me!_

_... No, Toushiro this is not a joke._

Oh how he wished it was. In his hand he held a black one-piece, but it could hardly be called that. The top part was a halter but the neck line dropped very low only coming together in a 'v' shape two inches below his navel. What the hell was this world coming to? (A/N: kind of like the swimsuit Isane wore in the beach episode I think it's 228)

_I'm not wearing this!_

_Please, master, you take far too long to decide._

_But look at it!_

_Stop making excuses. Do you want to get out of here or not?_

_Yes but-_

_No buts just put it on and get it over with._

Toushiro accepted his defeat but none too gracefully. He cursed everything in his mind at the moment using every foul world he knew.

_I don't even know how to put this stupid thing on..._

"Are you done yet, Kaida?"

Toushiro tugged at the black fabric of the swimsuit. Why did it have to show so much... of everything? He felt naked, heck he was practically naked. This could not be considered clothing; nothing this tiny could be considered clothing. Why were women's clothing always so small? (A/N: Shiro-chan has a good point there. Why are they?) He sighed.

"In a minute, Matsumoto." He called out. _I look so foolish._

_No, give yourself some credit. I think you look drop-dead gorgeous._

_Hyourinmaru do both of us a favour and never say that again._

He swallowed and took a deep breath before knocking on the door to notify Rangiku that he was finished changing. With a loud click the door was unlocked and ever so slowly he pushed it open.

"Oh My God, Tai-Kaida!" Matsumoto squealed in delight. Her eyes had lit up like as if she had discovered a bar that gave out free sake. "You look so... so... so unbelievably gorgeous!" (A/N: I need a new adjective...)

Toushiro shook his head. Seriously, were she and Hyourinmaru able to communicate somehow, because this was just freaky? With a capital 'f'.

"Well don't just stand there show it off!" Rangiku waved her hand in the air ordering him to spin around.

Oh please. Like he so wanted to draw more attention to himself in this getup. Call him self-conscious or whatever you wanted to. He was in a bathing suit that showed more than it covered, he was damn well self-conscious. He wrapped his arms around himself, in a half-hearted attempt to cover as much of himself as possible. Usually he liked the cold, but now cold air was blowing in places he never wished to have cold air blow. And to think that they wanted him to parade around a stage in front of most of The Seireitei. Well ha! And ha again.

God, this was uncomfortable. He felt so exposed and... vulnerable. It was amazing what a lack of clothing could do to a person. He was even ignoring the fact that his arms were in fact crossed across his chest, reminding him of the fact that he was no longer male (though the swimsuit pretty much took care of that). He felt a vicious blush rise to his cheeks. Why in the world did this have to happen to him?

"There's no need to be so shy, Kaida, you look perfectly fine. Who knew that you had such a hot body, I mean come on, have you seen yourself?" She came up to him and unfolded his arms pinning them to his sides, "You don't have to hide anything."

"Matsumoto... please this is very uncomforta-"

"Hey you guys have to see Kaida's swimsuit!"

Toushiro jumped and his eyes went wide in dread. "No Matsumoto, don't you dare call anybody over he-"

Too late, he may have been the last person to choose his swimming suit but he sure was not the last one to leave the room. And as it turned out a lot of people wanted to see him. It was a stampede of people he did not want to see or want to see him dressed like this. Upon instinct he tried to shrink back into the dressing room for protection but Rangiku was holding his arms. In light of no better alternative he ducked behind her hoping that she would hide most of him.

There were simultaneous gasps, 'ooh's and 'ahh's and a couple cat-calls. He felt his already-red cheeks redden even more. Did he mention how humiliating this was? Peeking out from behind Rangiku's shoulder he sent a death glare towards the small crowd that had gathered in front of the dressing room. There was Kuichki for one and Ise was there too. Those were the only two people that were supposed to be there. They were the only two people who were actually in the pageant and therefore had a right to be there. As for the rest... well he didn't want to know why Yachiru or Yoruichi were there much less for the Kotetsu sisters and Momo... great it was a good thing that she didn't know who he really was or she'd never let him live this down. Heck she still told stories of when he used to talk with a lisp when his teeth were growing out, because she thought it was 'cute'. Basically almost all of the SWA were there (why they had to choose this meeting to show up was beyond him) and... Takahashi.

He did a double take. His overly red cheeks reddened even further as his eyes zeroed in on the brown haired boy. The universe really had a sick sense of humour. Under all the embarrassment he felt a spark of anger. A spark that was soon to become an open flame.

_Easy now Toushiro..._

The dragon went unheeded. "What the hell are you all doing in here? This isn't some kind of show!" He exploded.

The crowd looked shocked and a bit guilty. Except for Yachiru of course.

"You're so silly Towel-head. We were called and we came!"

He ignored her and oddly locked gazes with none other than Takahashi. The almost-kiss scene from yesterday re-played itself in his mind. If his face wasn't already so red it would have gone up another shade. He felt his stomach squirm uncomfortably. He was supposed to be forgetting about this. Takahashi was one of the last people he wanted to see at the moment. He was the last person he wanted to see him a swimming suit that barely covered his-

_Awww , look he's blushing..._Hyourinmaru cooed.

_I'm not blushing. _It was an obvious lie, yet he still lied anyway. It was a reflex.

_Not you, Yuichi. _The dragon rolled his eyes. _If you could have that effect on him... hah just imagine what he's thinking... hmm_

_Get your mind out of the gutter you perverted old dragon. I do not need that mental image now!_

_But just imagine-_

_No. Just shut up. I will not imagine what your twisted little mind stumbles upon._

_But he's staring at your boo-_

_Isaidshutup!_

Toushiro gave a little cough and turned his attention back to the outer world. It was amazing how his bathing suit seemed to shrink the moment more people were looking at him. He cleared his throat.

"Takahashi what are _you_ doing here?" He fought with himself to keep a nervous tremor out of his voice.

The boy's eyes widened and he hung his head. Oh yeah he had confidence issues and therefore could not speak in front of people.

_I'm supposed to be mad at him but when I see him looking so... shy..._

_The boy is a paradox in himself. One minute shy and innocent the next well not so much._

"I... um... well... um," He paused to take a breath, "I... I came to... to... ah maybe I should come back later..."

_You see this, master, the boy is rendered speechless by you!_

Toushiro rolled his eyes. But yes maybe he should come back later, when there were less people that could spread rumours about their non-existent (heavy emphasis on the 'non') relationship. He nodded towards the brown haired boy, and curtly replied, "Yes you should."

For a moment he looked crest-fallen and his shoulders slumped, but he nodded and left the room without another word.

Then there was silence. Silence and tension. It was as if Yuichi had taken all the noise with him when he left. There was a staring competition between Toushiro and the others. (He was fervently trying to ignore the fact that he was in a skimpy, sorry excuse for clothing) Static electricity could be formed from the amount of tension that was in the room right now. Thankfully it was broken by a low whistle from Yoruichi.

"That was mean, Kaida." Rangiku reprimanded him.

"I-" he suddenly turned on the crowd, "What the hell are you all still doing here? There's nothing to see, go home!"

He should have known by now that only a select few people ever listen to him. Unfortunately these were none of them.

"Is there something going on between the two of you, Kaida?"

He glared at them before expressing his intense anger. No, he did not yell at them or freeze them, he stormed off. He stormed off without a second thought. He did feel a bit cold though...

Yes he, Hisugaya-Taicho, stormed out of the dressing rooms in an angry fit, wearing nothing but a small black swimsuit.

* * *

**sooo how was it? sigh i missed saying that...**

** I was going to write more but i think I have taken way too long on this as it is hope you all have enjoyed this. xD**

**and please review. boarding school sucks so i need all the cheering up i can get.**

**-Mymomomo**


	17. Twotimer!

**well I'm back after a long time, i apologise for any inconvenience caused.**

**Anyway first things first:**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! I wish all of you readers a wonderful holiday ^^**

**Disclaimer: yeah I wish, but as we all know I do not :(**

**And now for our feature presentation:**

* * *

Toushiro stumbled into his room. _That _had been the longest journey through the Seireitei ever. In his haste to leave the SWA he had run out in nothing but the black swimsuit. He was sure that at least thirty shinigami had gotten severe whip lash as he passed. God ,that had been embarrassing. He had never been aware as to how many shinigami there were in the Seireitei, especially of the male variety. Thankfully they had only stared. He slumped down against the door and pulled his knees up to his chest. He could feel his heart beating against his patella.

He generally liked being inconspicuous, but that little walk had been anything but inconspicuous. It was like he was a magnet and the other shinigami were like iron fillings. It was not a good feeling when a horde of men were staring at you like a pack of wolves on a wounded dear. He let out a deep breath.

_Just don't think about it._ He ordered himself. It had past; there was no sense crying over spilt milk.

_Plus, it could have been much worse, Master._

_I don't even want to know how. Just stop talking, please._

Toushiro slowly stood up, it was in his best interest to get out of the swimsuit before anything else happened, and with his luck at the moment something _would_ happen. He pulled out a new uniform from his closet and began to peel of the swimming suit.

_No! Wait Mas-_

_Hmm..._

Of course the door just had to slide open just at that moment.

"Guahh!" He clutched his shirt to his chest and turned away from the intruder while a scarlet blush that had instantly spread across his cheeks. "What the hell? Haven't you heard of knocking?"

"Ah, I'm so sorry Kaida-kun-"

Toushiro's eyes widened. He knew that voice. He looked over his shoulder griping the shirt even tighter to his bare chest. His face went pale, "Hi-hinamori..."

Hyourinmaru chocked on his breath.

Why? Why? Why? He took a shaky breath and turned around to face the brown haired girl.

"W-what are you doing here?" If he thought that his heart was racing before then he was wrong. He hadn't even known that a human heart could even beat this fast.

"I followed you." Momo answered, "You looked... distressed when you left the SWA so I followed you to see if you were okay..." She was playing with her fingers and chewing on her bottom lip. Something was obviously disturbing her. Toushiro sighed, why did she have to be so caring?

"That was nice of you Hinamori, but as you can see I'm fine so if you could just-"

"Why are you in Shiro-Chan's room? And why are you getting undressed?"

Toushiro froze. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Why the hell was 'Kaida' in his room? More important why was she _undressing_ in his room? Momo had a valid point. Too bad he could come up with nothing to counter. His brain at the moment had turned into mush. It just refused to function.

_Can't help you here, Master, I got nothing._

And it seemed that Hyourinmaru was in a similar situation.

Unfortunately Momo took his silence the wrong way. Her large brown eyes got even larger and a light pink blush spread across her cheeks.

Toushiro slapped his forehead mentally. Really, Momo, really? This was the last thing he needed anyone to think that he was cough dating himself.

_Oh come on, Master, we both know with you taking your clothes off that this is more than just dating._

_Just whose side are you on? And you perfectly well know the reason why I was taking my clothes off!_

_I do, but Momo doesn't. Try thinking from her perspective, this does not look too good, for neither you nor Kaida._

"Okay this is not what you think it is Hina-"

"I can't believe that Shiro-chan would do such a thing without telling me!"

Didn't anybody listen to him anymore? He really did facepalm this time around. "It's not like that..."

"I'll be speaking to him about this!"

"Hina-"

"He didn't tell me anything! Nothing at all. I could have given him advice, support even."

"Hinamori-"

"He's even way too young to be dating!"

"Hinamori-"

"And you too Kaida! I'm sure you're not any older than him. You have no right to be doing this"

"What?"

Had he just got berated from both sides? Was that even possible?

_Apparently so, Master..._

"And what about poor Yuichi-kun?"

"Wait, what? Where does he come into this?"

"I saw the way that you two were looking at each other. Does he know about you and Shiro-chan?"

"There is nothing-"

"Children you're age should not even be romantically active yet."

"I'm not-"

"If Shiro-chan found out that you were two timing him he would not be pleased."

Toushiro's temper had hit sky level. Hinamori was not even listening to anything he was saying! Plus she thought that she was cheating on Takahashi with himself.

_Wow, that sounds so messed up. _Hyourinmaru observed, shaking his huge head.

_Like I would ever cheat on Takahashi! What does she take me for?_

_...You do know that for you to cheat on someone you have to be in a relationship, right?_

A blush spread across his face. _But she's insinuating that I – you know what never mind._

He turned back to Momo who was staring at him like a cat staring down a mouse.

"If Shiro-chan finds out..." she repeated.

"For the last time Hinamori, I am not dating Shiro-chan I mean _Hitsugaya-Taicho_!"

Momo folded her arms across her chest, "So why are you in his room taking off your clothes?"

_Well there's a funny little explanation for that_

_Shut up. I don't need this now._

"I already said-"

Momo's eyes narrowed and she leaned closer to him. "If you want to play around like this who am I to stop you, but don't you dare mess with Shiro-chan."

_You've got to be kidding me!_

_Somehow I find this very amusing. You hear that master, don't play around with yourself or Momo's gonna kill you._

"This is getting ridiculous! Just shut up and listen to me; stop jumping to conclusions Bed-wetter, I've had enough!"

Momo suddenly stepped back surprise written all over her face. Toushiro rolled his eyes.

_Way to tell somebody off, Master... _the Dragon's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"B-bed-wetter?" A small frown appeared on her face.

Toushiro clamped a hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant to say that, it just slipped out.

Momo cocked her head and stared him up and down. Toushiro swallowed, boy was she going to be pissed off now.

"Shiro-chan?"

Toushiro gagged. What the hell one slip up and she had figured out who he really was? No way since when was Momo that perceptive?

_Just play it cool, Master. Don't confirm it and don't deny it straight out, or she'll know that you're lying._

However he could not 'play it cool', all he could do was stare open mouthed at the brown haired girl in front of him and wonder how the hell she was able to figure that out.

"Only one person calls me that." She announced, "Plus why else would you be in his room. Let me guess Kaida isn't a real person either?"

"How-"

"Honestly Shiro-chan, you're the only person who corrects the people who don't call you by proper title. And you haven't denied it yet either. So now I'm just curious to why you are a girl at the moment."

"It's a long story Hinamori." He sighed and hung his head, "Can I just change my clothes first?"

("\(^.^)/")

He told her everything. Everything from the minute he woke up as a girl to storming away from the swimsuit fittings. Surprisingly she was silent for most of the story, sure she had cracked up a few times but that had been expected.

They sat sitting facing each other on Toushiro's futon. There was an awkward silence after the ending of the story.

"So what are you gonna do?" Momo casually asked brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

Touhsiro raised an eyebrown, "First off you aren't allowed to tell anybody; as in no one at all."

She nodded. "So how long are you going to be like this?"

"I don't know Kurotsuchi said around nine to twelve weeks. It's been around three weeks already. I'll just keep up this disguise until then."

"So, Shiro-chan-"

"Hitsugaya-Taicho."

Momo rolled her eyes, "What are you going to do about Yuichi-kun?"

Of course she would be interested in that. He shook his head; Hinamori had always been a romantic. "I'll talk to him later."

"Yes but what will you say?"

He scowled; he had no idea what he was going to tell the boy. Honestly after spending almost an entire day thinking of how he was going to...

_Break up with Yuichi-kun?_ Hyourinmaru supplied.

_No Hyourinmaru, for me to break up with him I have to be dating him in the first place. I mean to tell him that..._

_ It wouldn't work between the two of you?_

_ Exactly! ... Wait... _

Hyourinmaru grinned, _You're so cute, Master._

_I dare you to say that again._ Toushiro growled

_You're sooooooooooo cute, Master!_

Toushiro slapped his forehead and turned his attention back to Momo. "I have no idea, what I'm going to say."

Momo sighed, "As expected."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shook her head, "Just don't lead him on for too long."

"I'm not leading him on. If anything I've been trying to get rid of him."

Momo smiled gently, "if you were actually a girl I think that the two of you would make a cute couple."

Toushiro gapped staring at Momo.

_See someone else agrees with me._ Hyourinmaru smirked.

The white haired boy shook his head, _The fact of the matter that I am not a girl, still sands. I cannot be his girlfriend no matter how much you or anyone else may want it._

_So sad, such is the truth..._

Momo ruffled his hair and smiled, "Just don't do anything stupid."

He slapped her hand away, "That's what I've been trying to do all this time..."

Hyourinmaru snickered, _but as we can see that didn't turn out too well."_

_

* * *

_**Soo how was it?**

**again not one of my favourite chapters. Also when i dont like something i assume that no one else dose. i hope that this was not the case...**

**Anyway I'm back in the lovley Caribbean for Christmas vacation, so I honestly hope that updates will happen a lot more frequently or atleast until the 7th of January when i am sent back to... boarding school... sigh.**

**Oh and on a random note: I've just experienced my first winter and drawn the conclusion that snow is the best invention ever! so of course Toushiro is just all the more awesome in my pov. ^^**

**please review on your way out.**

**-Mymomomo**


	18. Sake a man's worst enemy

**Yes I'm reposting this chapter, If anyone even noticed that I took it down for repairs. As to why, well a reviewer pointed out to me that the subject matter that I touched upon was way to heavy an serious for a fic of this caliber and I had to agree. So unable in good conscious to keep this chapter and the one after it up any longer I took both chapters 18 and 19 down for renovations. And well here you go, you might want to re-read it just in case, I didn't change up much but a huge chunk of it has been taken out an replaced with something more suitable. And a special thanks to StaminaRose for the awesome review that brought this to my attention. **

**Enjoy^^**

**Disclaimer: I don not own a car, I do not own a house, I do not own bleach. **

* * *

Go find him. That will be the best thing to do. Toushiro reminded himself never to listen to Matsumoto's advice ever again. He had spent nearly two hours talking to his lieutenant about his boy troubles, as strange as that may have sounded. They both agreed that neither Toushrio nor Yuichi could stay mad at each other for too long. Well actually, it was Toushiro who was the one that was mad; Yuichi was just frightened that he had ruined their friendship. But he did have to set a few things straight. One; that he was going to forgive him for the _ahem_ unwanted gesture the other day. Two; that they were only going to be friends and nothing more. And if it came to it, three; Toushiro would explain who he really was (but that was only if it came to it – the whole situation was going to be awkward enough).The plan had been nice in theory but it had taken Toushiro a total of two days to pluck up his courage to even try to find the boy to talk to him.

Now Toushiro found himself standing in front of a bar. Of all places a bar. He had gone on a wild goose chase in search of the boy. Putting all his resource gathering skills to good use he had come to the conclusion that Yuichi was in the bar. He slapped his forehead. Wondering why of all places the brown haired boy would be at a bar. Yuichi didn't even drink as far as he knew. The universe hated him and as it seemed so did Yuichi.

_It doesn't look so bad... _Hyourinmaru tried to comfort him.

_Really?Ccause I can just smell the alcohol oozing from the walls. _Toushiro sighed. He had had very bad experiences with bars like this, mainly having to drag a drunken Matsumoto back to the office from them, but back then he had been a captain, and very much comfortable in his own body.

_Why in the world would Takahashi be in here? _He glared at the shabby looking wooden building as if it was the root of all his troubles.

_Maybe he's trying to drown all his sorrows in alcohol; you sure have been the cause of a lot of heart ache, little one._

Toushiro scowled. _I'm going to apologize, aren't I? So just can it._

Drawing up all his courage he stepped into the bar. In all honesty it was a regular bar; slightly on the small side and jam-packed full of shinigami. It was actually fairly neat and organised with small round tables neatly set up against the walls and a tall bar counter at the far end. No one noticed that had entered. He was thankful that his bad luck had decided to take a break. Staying near the entrance he scanned the crowd looking for any sight of Yuichi. He scowled when he was unable to find him. Since when did so many people have brown hair? He cursed.

_Wait, Master, I think I see him over there by the bar._ Hyourinmaru pointed out.

He spied the familiar wild head of brown hair and Yuichi's slim form in the far corner. He was talking to an older man with a wispy black beard and sharp brown eyes. Good he wasn't drinking; maybe he had just come here on an errand. He quickly began to make his way over to the bar. He was feeling uncomfortable being in here longer than he had to. In fact his gut told him that he should leave right that moment. But he ignored it; Takahashi was on the top of his list right then.

But by now you should know that whenever our little captain has a gut feeling it's usually right. And when he ignores it something usually goes wrong. And true to fact it did. He had barely walked two steps when a group of three men surrounded him. Great just great.

_Why? Why does this keep on happening to me? _ Toushrio moaned while sizing up the men.

_It's your own fault. _Hyourinmaru snorted.

_How? I did nothing to deserve this and you well know it Hyourinmaru._

_I mean it's your fault for being so sexy. We can't go anywhere without someone trying to hit on you. Frankly it's starting to get annoying._

Toushiro groaned, _I didn't ask for this._

The men surrounded him all the while leering at him suggestively. He could feel the alcohol seeping from their pores. It wasn't a good feeling either. Not to mention that they stank of sweat mixed with stale sake. He was surprised that they could stand up straight with the amount of alcohol obviously in their system. They swayed dangerously though, like one poke and they would be on the ground. But just by looking he could tell that it would need more than just a poke from him for them to fall over. It was just his luck for the shortest of the men to have at least two full feet on him. Not to mention the largest one's wrists were the same size if not bigger than his ankles.

_See if you can back away from them, you don't need a fight here_, Hyourinmaru suggested.

Toushiro tried to do just that but one of the men blocked him. He felt the adrenaline rush in his system. These men were up to no good and now he was trapped in the middle of it.

The boy eyed the men in front of him. They towered over him but none of them seemed to be making any moves on him. That at least was a good sign. He cleared his throat and made to shove past them, "Excuse me, you're in my way."

He froze when a large hand was put on his shoulder. "Where're-you off ta in such a hurree?" One of the men slurred. Breathing heavily in Toushiro's face. He almost threw up at the scent.

_Oh god! That stinks, get it way get it away!_

"I-um..."

"Sucha pr-pr... pretty ghu-urlll l-like you, shu-shudnt b driiinkingggggg."

Toushiro rolled his eyes despite his unease. "I'm not here to drink, now if you don't mind I'm kind of in a hurry..."

All four of them laughed, "Soo a-are ya lukin' for sum-one, didn peg ya ta bee th-tha-that typuh of gurlll."

Toushrio blushed they thought that he was a-

"Hhhow a-about ya come wiiith us I'stead?"

"I don't think so." He tried pushing through them again but this time was shoved back violently, he almost fell over.

"Where ya g'ing ?" They laughed.

Toushiro's eyes widened, he had not imagined that drunken people would have been that strong. He quickly took up a defensive stance glaring at the one who had pushed him. He dared not raise his sword against these men, even though they were asking for it. They were drunk and not aware of their actions, drawing a weapon would be nothing short of murder.

"Cumon we can do much b'ttr than anyyyoth'r man in th's joint."

He did not respond but glared at each one of them trying to assess the easiest way to take them down. He was on hair trigger any movement and he would attack.

"Whadayuh say? Come w'th usssss?" One wiggled his eye brows while the other two grinned like maniacs.

"No thanks. I'm not the kind of person you take me for."

"Awww why'not?

"Yuh too g'd for usss, baby?"

His eye twitch at the name. "I would appreciate if you didn't call me that..."

"Comeon don't beee like tha'at."

The men laugh again. Seriously, did no one notice that he was being ganged upon by a group of men? Was everybody else drunk too?

_Well you are in a sake bar..._

Toushiro breathed out deeply. He did not have time for these men's antics; he needed to talk to Takahashi.

Letting the slightest bit of his reiatsu loose he attempted to push his way through the men again. He almost succeeded. He was roughly pulled back and would have fallen to the floor if his shoulder was not held onto.

_Master, I think that... they don't look too pleased with you trying to run away._

The hand gripped his shoulder with almost bruising force. He tried to shove it off but to no avail. "I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me."

The men looked at each other then turned back to the white haired boy with sick grins on their face.

"Whooo's tuching ya?"

It was then that chaos broke out. Suddenly there were hands all over his body touching and grabbing.

Toushiro screamed. "Stop it! What the hell?" He scratched and bit at the hands on his person and received a punch to the chin for all his troubles. He was stunned, realising that it hurt. It was only then that he started to worry.

"Alright break it up." The bartender's voice was strong and slightly irritated. Toushiro had never been so glad to hear someone else's voice in his life. He breathed a sigh of relief as the men paused. "If you want to play with your lady friend do it quietly or go outside. I don't want anything damaged in here."

His stomach sank and his eyes widened; so much for being helped. The men snickered among themselves and one picked him up and threw him over his shoulder not shy about groping his butt in the process.

Not this again! The first time something like this had happened with one of his squad members he had almost lost it, but now as three grown men were groping him, that was very well pushing the limit. He felt a vein tick in his temples.

_Master, you're cover... _Hyourinmaru warned.

_Screw my cover! I'm not going to let these animals touch me!_

The dragon sighed, but he could tell that he would much rather that Toushiro beat the shit out of them than them do anything to him. _Just don't go overboard, master._

_Oh, I'm gonna go overboard, especially if this one doesn't get his hand of my ass!_

With that he delivered a bone shattering kick to the man's stomach. The one carrying him doubled over in pain and dropped him in the process. Toushiro landed with a soft thud immediately springing into a defensive position glaring at the other two men. They seemed surprised that such a small girl could have kicked so hard. He smirked to himself, maybe they should think twice about who they decide to pick on... even if they were drunk.

One of the men got over his shock and moved to back hand the small taicho. He dodged and in turn kicked him sending him flying into a table, breaking it with the force.

"I said take it outside!" The bartender yelled in such a voice that even Toushiro was scared for a second.

But before he could register what was happening he was yanked off the ground by his upper arm and thrown unceremoniously out the door, of course followed by the three men. He cursed silently. The things he went through. Takahashi owed him big time for this. He picked himself up off the ground and was about to re-enter the bar when something hard connected with the side of his head. He actually saw stars for a moment.

The drunkards still had some fight left in them unfortunately. He turned just in time to dodge another punch at his head.

"You littlee..." One of them slurred.

Toushiro growled this was not what he wanted to be doing right now. He had to talk with Takahashi, not fight with these three oafs, drunken oafs at that. But still he swung his leg out managing to knock one off his feet. He rolled his eyes. He had misjudged them, they were not that strong. Huge maybe, but then again he was using his reiatsu to aid him. But they did have the gaul to try to hit on him and then when he refused attempt to beat him up. If that was the logic of a drunk man Toushiro was sure as hell never drinking. They deserved everything that was coming to them.

_Don't kill them, master. _The dragon sighed.

_I'm not going to promise anything. _

_Master!_

_Fine, fine, I wont._

Apparently the other two did not take kindly in their friend being made to eat dirt. And it seemed that even though drunk they still had a bit of common sense. They both jumped at him. One of these giants Tosuhiro could handle without much trouble, two, now that was starting to get difficult, especially when he was holding back so much. He kicked one in the ribs but the other managed to land a very hard punch in his stomach. He actually lost his balance and fell into the side of the bar clutching his abdomen. There was going to be a nasty bruise in that area for sure. The next thing he knew one of them was basically on him. Reminding himself not to harm them too much he rammed his elbow into the side of the man's neck effectively knocking him out.

One down, two to go. He blocked a kick to his midriff and then ducked under a punch. Hmm, this was actually fun. He grinned as he threw in a punch himself pleased to hear a pained shout. That seemed to do it for the remaining two.

Toushiro felt rather than saw the change in their demeanour. Drunken men may be drunk but they weren't stupid to some extent. And in the middle of a fight with a girl that was just over four feet, they realised that they could use their size to their advantage. Ah, revelation!

Toushiro let out a strangled yelp as he was suddenly picked up by the neck and held against the bar wall.

_Damnit! _He yelled inwardly this was not good, the cow's palm was crushing his windpipe.

Outwardly he sent a kick flying at his captor's face. A satisfying crunch was heard and blood streamed from his nose. He let out a loud yell and was about to drop the white haired girl but his partner managed to grab hold of him before he touched the ground.

Toushrio swore of course there had to be two of them. And this one also thought suffocating him was a good idea. He kicked out again but this time his foot was caught in the man's other hand.

_Damn._

More pressure was applied to his throat and he began to feel light headed from the lack of air.

_Still think I should go easy on these guys? _

_Well... I agree they are bastards, but... okay fine I have no but's, go ahead. Just be discreet about it and don't blow your cover._

_Yes , mother._ Toushiro rolled his eyes; honestly the dragon was so irritating sometimes.

But as soon as he was about to let loose more of his reiatsu and really beat the crap out of the men, they both dropped. Toushiro dropped to the ground clutching his throat, gasping for air. What was going on he hadn't even released his spiritual pressure yet and the men dropped like flies. He was good but he wasn't that good.

_What the hell just happened?_

_I believe the correct question is who the hell just happened. _

"Kaida! Are you alright? I came as soon as I heard you scream." Yuichi knelt down in front of him his face was a shade paler and his eyes were wide and full of worry.

"Yeah." Toushiro wheezed, "They didn't do much."

He sat up and Yuichi leaned back on his heels. Toushiro observed his surroundings with a raised eyebrow and a slight frown. The three men littered the ground in various positions. "You were able to do this by yourself?"

The teenager shook his head, "No, my Otou-san helped." He indicated the same man he had been talking to earlier in the bar, who was standing off to a side.

_Otou-san?_

"Oh, well I thank you both." He made a move to stand up but Yuichi held him down.

"I don't think you should get up just yet."

"I'm fine. I told you they didn't get a chance to harm me."

"So then explain that huge bruise on your forehead. I think you should be checked over for a concussion."

"It's nothing I'm-"

"He's right little one." The man with the beard knelt down next to Yuichi, "You shouldn't push yourself."

There was a pregnant silence for a couple minutes.

"I think we should get you inside somewhere." Yuichi's father observed.

They both agreed to that.

"So what should we do about...?" Yuichi trailed off indicating the unconscious men on the ground.

His father shrugged, "Just leave them there. And pick up the girl, I don't want her walking just yet."

Toushiro blushed then growled; the damsel in distress role had somehow fallen upon him. He wished to dear god that it hadn't. Yuichi sighed and turned to him.

"I apologize in advance." One of his arms wrapped around Toushiro's shoulders as the other went behind his knees.

Fighting down an angry blush Toushiro growled, "You know I can walk by myself."

"He said you shouldn't, and he's in the fourth squad, so I'd do as he says, Kaida." Yuichi punctuated each 'he' with a jab of his chin in his father's direction.

Toushrio did not like the situation but he was quiet after that.

"Sooo, this is the famous Kaida Matsumoto, am I correct? Yuichi talks about you all the time."

"Otou-San!" Yuichi exclaimed in embarrassment, his cheeks took on a faint pink hue.

"You've heard about me... um..." Toushiro'e ears perked up in interest, so Takahashi had been talking about him.

"Takahashi, I'm Toshihiro Takahashi."

_There's no way that that's a coincidence._ Hyourinmaru mumbled. Toushiro had to agree that one was odd. _ You see, master, it's a sign you two were meant to be together._

_Only you would come up with that conclusion. And I don't like him in that way goddamnit._

"Oh yes I've heard about you." He continued, "Thanks to my son here, I think I know enough about you to write a small book."

"Otou-san!" Yuichi exclaimed, "That's not true! Don't listen to him Kaida, I don't talk about you that much."

"I exaggerate; so sue me." He shrugged and walked slightly ahead of them.

Yuichi shook his head, "He's always like that. Anyway, Kaida, what were you doing at that bar? I know you don't drink."

"Oh... um... I..." So much for courage. He found himself unable to speak. Oh come on Hitsugaya he had come all this way, gone through all this trouble just to speak to the boy and now he could not find his voice. To hell with this all. He took a deep breath, "I was looking for you. Somebody told me that you were there."

Yuichi raised an eyebrow, "Y-you were looking for m-me?"

He sighed, saying stuff like this when he was literally in the boys arms was more than awkward, "We need to talk Takahashi."

The brown haired boy nodded and mumbled, "I knew this was coming."

"You can come to my room to have your heart to heart." Yuichi's father called over his shoulder, having obviously heard their conversation, "It's the closest."

Both Toushiro and Yuichi blushed at the comment. Would it really be considered a _heart to heart_ ?

_This guy,_ Hyourinmaru said while nodding his head, _I like him.

* * *

_

**Well that wasn't too bad was it? It's like I never re-wrote in the first place ^^ heheh. **

**umm... well I hope the rest of you enjoy this massive upload, rather, re-upload.**

**please review on your way out.**

**-Mymomomo**


	19. The slave and the Dragon

**Again this one has been taken down for editing purposes, not much has changed just a few lines here and there so that it makes sense. **

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

**enjoy teehee =)**

* * *

"How are you feeling, my dear?" Toshihiro asked handing Toushiro a cup of steaming green tea. The three sat in Toshihiro's room , he was brewing a pot of green tea while checking Toushiro over for any injuries. Yuichi sat in a corner eyeing them intently.

"I'm fine, thank you very much, Takahashi-san." Toushiro answered taking the cup of tea.

"Are you sure?" He persisted.

Toushrio nodded.

_You don't have to act so strong, Master, these people are here to help you._

_You of all people should know that it was a trivial fight. I came here to talk not to be sympathised with. I don't need to share my feelings with them._

_I can see sweat dripping off your forehead from here. I know its not the fight that you're worried about. Just speak to him; you're gonna break down one of these days if you keep this up._

_No I'm not. _

The dragon sighed, _Fine just promise that we'll talk about this later._

_Whatever makes you sleep at night._

_I'm serious, Master, you cannot keep this one bottled up._

_Yes, Hyourinmaru, we'll talk later._

The dragon nodded seemingly satisfied with his answer, but Toushiro could tell that he was still uneasy. He was moving about restlessly in his mindscape. There was no way he was going to share his feelings with anyone, no matter how stresses this whole situation was getting him.

But now was not the time to be mopping around. He had come here to do something and he would damn well get it over with. He turned to Yuichi, taking a deep breath, but the boy suddenly stood up.

"Excuse me, I just remembered something. I'll be back in a while." He spoke while staring at his father. He then bowed and left the room.

Toushiro looked on with confusion for a split second before suddenly jumping up and attempting to run after the boy, "Takahashi, wait-"

"Oh no, you sit down, young lady you aren't going anywhere." Toshihiro stated firmly pulling him back into a sitting position. "Yuichi will be back in a while, and then you can tell him whatever it is you have to tell him."

Toushiro looked into the man's deep brown eyes, "H-how did you know I had to tell him something?"

"That's not important. Right now it's you're health that's on the line."

"I already told you that I'm fine, there's no need for all this commotion."

The man sighed, "Then explain that huge bruise on your forehead and not to mention the ones on your neck, and I can tell from the way you're sitting that you've also hurt your stomach."

"They're nothing, look thank you for your concern but those men didn't do much damage. As you've correctly guessed I have something important to say to your son, so I should be going now." He made another move to stand up.

"Sit down, Kaida, he said he was coming back. Wow, Yuichi was right when he said you had no patience."

Toushiro scowled, of course he had patience, he had to have tones of patience if he had to deal with Matsumoto. He just had a quick temper... and did not want to stay still for long at the moment.

The black haired man sighed. "Hmm alright are you? You're so shaken up that you can't even sit still. Don't think I haven't noticed all you're fidgeting."

"I haven't been fidgeting..." he said but trailed off when he noticed that his body seemed to be moving of its own accord. He had not even been aware that he was tapping his fingers on his thigh, and tensing and relaxing various muscles ever so often. He sighed.

"The after effects of trauma. Relax child, no one here is going to hurt you."

"I know that. And for the last time; I have not been traumatised."

Toshihiro shook his head, "Are you that eager to get to my son? What is it that you have to tell him so urgently?"

Toushiro blushed, "I-I... fine it can wait."

Toshihiro smiled gently, "You really are one of a kind, as Yuichi so often says."

The small boy frowned a bit, "You mean he really talks about me that much?"

"I shouldn't be selling out all of his business... but all I've heard for these past weeks was your name."

Great. This was going to be so much harder to break it to the boy now. He did a mental faceplam. Yuichi really did like him. He couldn't help but wince.

Toshihiro laughed. "I like you. Many girls would be glad to hear that they were all someone talks about, but you... you actually seem annoyed. Is it that you don't feel the same way?"

"I see him as a friend. It may seem harsh but I don't like your son in that way, no matter all the pretty little delusions he has in his head."

Toshihiro cocked his head. "Is that so? I admire your honesty and bravery (or bluntness), child. Yuichi would do well to learn from you."

Toushiro sighed, "I have been trying to help him build up his self esteem. He's so insecure; it's annoying most of the time."

The old man sighed, "Yes, that he is, I've tried to help him overcome that many times. None have worked, evidently."

"But you're his father; surely you could help him the most?"

"That's what most people would think, but he has every right to be insecure."

Toushiro frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I don't think he would be comfortable with me telling you this... but I've done worse to embarrass him, so what the hell." He smiled, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

Toushiro gapped, this man was like a big child! Why was it that all the adults he met were so immature? Okay no, that was a lie. But still no wonder Yuichi was insecure! He never had a true father figure in his life. He shook his head as Toshihiro went on with his story.

"Well as you know that nobody is truly related in the Soul Society, I'm not the boy's real father. But I have taken care of him since he was a little boy."

Toushiro raised an eyebrow, "So what does this have to do with him being insecure?"

"Well if you wait I'll tell you." He snapped rolling his eyes, "Young people these days... anyway. I was already a shinigami when I found him and Unohana-Taicho was kind enough to let him stay with me in her division, that is until he started showing signs of having high reiatsu and was of age to enter the academy."

Toushiro nodded, it made sense, but he still didn't see where Toshihiro was going with this story.

"But that's not the point. When I found him he was like a scared little puppy, afraid of everybody who passed him on the street-"

"Why?" Toushiro blurted out.

"I'm getting to that, you really are an impatient one. "

"Well you keep on dragging on the story. Just get to the point."

"I dont see any rush, and finish your tea before it gets cold. Anyway when I saw him I just couldn't leave him alone like that. So I brought him with me back to the Seireitei."

"That still doesn't tell me anything, old man. There tones of children on the side of the street scared out of their skins. That doesn't mean you take in all of them."

Toshihiro shot him a cold, disapproving look. He narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Yuichi was different. I'm sure you've seen that trusting, innocent look in his eyes most of the time."

"Yes, but-"

"Stop interrupting me! I took him in because a child like that deserves so much more that what he had!" The man seemed livid, and somehow Toushiro gathered that it was not from his interruptions alone. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you." He took a deep breath, "When I found him, Kaida, he was nothing more than a slave."

Toushiro was shocked to silence. Yuichi; a slave? He knew that in some parts of the Rukokngai there was a slave system. Small children were taken off the streets and forced to be servants for the more well off people, but since it had never applied directly to him, he had never thought much about it. Even Hyourinmaru was shocked too much to answer.

"A-A... slave?"

Toshihiro's eyes hardened, "Yes. And by the time I was able to rescue him, he had it embedded into his mind that he was worth less than anybody else, that everybody was better than him and there was nothing he could do to change it. I've tried to rid him of this way of thinking but even today he is still hesitant to believe that he is the same as everybody else." The old man leaned back against the wall with a heavy sigh. "And this is my son's story. Would you like another cup of tea?"

"I... I had no idea, I..." Toushiro hung his head. How was he supposed to bring himself to break up with the boy now? Ugh karma, he was going to kill it one of these days, that is if it didn't get to him first. The latter was more likely though the way things had been going lately.

_The way I see it master, you still have two choices, break it off with Yuichi and keep your sanity as you stated and not destroy every bit of self-confidence he has, or not tell him and save him some dignity._

_By not telling him and keep leading him on will mean me lying to him even more. I think that will break his self-esteem even more if I keep up the act._

_So you can either choose something that will benefit you in the long run or something that will benefit you right now. So what are you gonna choose?_

_I don't know! That's the problem either one will hurt him in some way. But I can't just not tell him and I can't tell him either. _Toushiro let out a huge sigh. He had honesty no idea what to do now. He chewed his bottom lip. Maybe he should choose the more practical option of just telling the boy that it wouldn't work between them, but he was afraid of the other boy's reaction.

"Don't think so hard, child you're making _my_ head hurt just from watching you." Toshihiro sighed. "Let me guess you're having second thoughts about ending the relationship?"

Toushiro stared at the man, "First of all we aren't even in a relationship to begin with, and I-"

Toushiro broke off when the door to the room slid open. Yuichi stood there with a grim look on his face.

_Oh shit._ Hyourinmaru exclaimed, _Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiit._

Toushiro looked up to the heavens, because the way things were going Soul Society could not possibly be heaven. Hyourinmaru had pretty much summed it up with those two words. He glanced to the brown haired boy, a sinking feeling growing in his stomach. This was why he refrained from being nice to people, this was the exact reason why; they just got hurt. If he had just ignored the boy from the beginning none of this would have happened. He would not be feeling like what Hyourinmaru had stated, and Yuichi would not be so... distraught.

The boy was staring at him with a mixture of hurt, and anger in his eyes, his oh so expressive green-brown eyes. Toushiro felt like kicking himself for saying that, even more so when Yuichi's shoulders slumped and he forced his lips, which were trembling slightly into a harsh, dour line. He balled his hands into fists and hid their shaking by stuffing them into his pockets. (A/N: do hakama even have pockets?) Toushiro swallowed but his throat had gone dry. He immediately tried to think of something to say that would soothe the boy in front of him but his mind had basically turned to mush at this point. How could he have been so careless to have let Yuichi over hear the conversation? And to make it worse he felt worse than he had ever in his life. Since when had he cared so much about someone else's feelings?

"Yu-Yuichi... I... um..." He stumbled over his words, the nasty feeling in his stomach spreading to the rest of his body causing unwanted reactions, such as his throat closing up and his chest constricting in an odd way.

The boy shook his head violently, brown curls flying all over his face. "No, just don't say anything." There was a noticeable tremor in his voice, but what surprised Toushiro the most was the underlying venom in his tone. His eyes widened and he wanted to disappear at that very moment.

"This is better than soap operas," Toshihiro commented from his corner in the room. Yuichi turned on him with fire in his eyes. The old man sighed, "Yeah, yeah I get it, you don't want me here. I'm leaving, no need to chew me out just yet." He stood up slowly and made his way to the door, "Just try not to break anything, if you two decide to get physical."

Once his father was gone Yuichi slammed the door shut, then to Toushiro's surprise sunk down to the floor in a cross-legged position and rubbed his face with his hands. No words were spoken for almost a full five minutes but the tension in the air could be cut with a meat cleaver (and even then still with difficulty). Toushiro was afraid to speak, what the hell was he supposed to say? And Yuichi just sat there breathing like he had just run a marathon.

_Well someone has to talk, Master, it might as well be you?_

_And risk him biting my head off; I've never seen him this angry before..._

_Nooo he's been this angry when that guy decided it was a good idea to grab your butt that one time. But It's now or never. You came here to talk, Master, and right now I don't hear much talking._

_Easy for you to say you don't have to tell someone who's angrier than a mother dragon that you're ending the relationship..._

_Funny you'd be the one to use that simile. But nevertheless, grow a back bone, Child! Are you or are you not the captain of the tenth division of the Gotei 13?_

_Yes but-_

_No buts. Unless you get off your fat one and talk to him!_

_I am!... And my butt is not fat._

Toushiro took a deep breath gathering up all his courage. To think that he was able to run head first into a battle and not bat an eyelid, but talking to a boy of barely fifteen (equivalent age) was the hardest thing he had ever done.

"Yuichi... "

The boy glanced at him causing Toushiro to recoil a bit. In his eyes was not total anger but rather disappointment and pain. He swallowed this was going to be _the _hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

"Did you really mean that? What you said to my father?" Yuichi asked not taking his eyes off the other boy.

"I-I – I..." He sighed, "Yes, Yu-Takahashi." It was best to get this over as quickly as possible. He reverted back to using the other's last name; there was no reason to make this more personal than it already was. "It feels wrong, on my behalf, and...a-and I don't think it fair to you to be playing with your feelings like this."

"Oh." Was that all he had to say? Toushiro frowned that couldn't possibly be all- "I understand."

Of course it wasn't. He shook his head, "Takahashi... I can understand what you are feeling right now but-"

"God, I was just so stupid! How could I even think that..." He cut himself off and glared at the tatami mats on the floor. "Why?"

Toushiro frowned slightly, "Why, what?"

"I thought we were friends I thought we were... you know what I think I just misread you, wouldn't have been the first time." He rubbed at his forehead and took a deep shaky breath.

Toushiro felt a small spark of anger flare up in him.

_Hey, watch it, Master..._

"You can't actually think that this is your entire fault, Takahashi! It's as mush mine as it is yours. I admit it, I led you on when I shouldn't have, I probably sent out signs when I didn't mean to, I... Okay, the point is Takahashi; I can't like you the way you would want me to. I am not what I seem."

"That's hardly a reason! Even if you didn't mean to lead me on, on purpose, does not erase the fact that you did!" The anger was back in his eyes as he turned his head to glare at Toushiro. "But even still I should have known that you didn't want it, me!"

Toushiro faltered; even in such a state Yuichi's anger was turned in on himself. Toshihiro was right when he said that Yuichi considered himself to be on a lower level so much so that he believed everything to be his fault, that it just could not be the fault of someone else's. He knew that it shouldn't, but the fact of the matter was that this angered him, if anyone needed a back bone it was the brown haired boy in front of him.

"It's not your fault Takahashi! How could you have known that I was not interested? How could you have known, huh? Are you psychic or something? Because if you aren't then it's not your BLASTED FAULT!" Toushiro was yelling at the top of his lungs now. In any other situation Yuichi would have been completely subdued but not now.

He actually glared at Toushiro harder and sat up a bit straighter. "I WAS STUPID!" He yelled equally as loud. "HOW CAN YOU POSSSIBLY SHITF THE BLAME FROM ME?"

Toushiro gritted his teeth "JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN. You were nothing but a good friend to me, you did nothing wrong. It was my decision not to return your feelings so stop feeling as if this is all your fault just because I am not able to LOVE YOU DAMNIT!"

"So if I was so perfect, huh, why? Why don't you love me back?"

Toushiro was silent for a while. His heart was racing from all the shouting, from all the emotions running in his body. And he really had to calm down if he was going to consider what he was going to say next.

_Master I thought we agreed on this..._ Hyourinmaru warned.

_He deserves to know._

_But, Master-_

Tuning out his dragon, Toushiro turned to Yuichi. Seeing his change in disposition Yuichi's anger had fled him. He was also breathing a bit heavily and his checks were flushed, but now he let his shoulders droop once again and his mouth returned to the tight line.

"There's someone else isn't there? Someone else you prefer." He stated dryly.

Toushiro stared at him for a moment. "No, there's no one else." He took a deep breath. He recalculated his thoughts. Forget letting Yuichi down what he was about to do was _the_ hardest thing in his life. "I can't return your feelings because, Takahashi... I'm... I'm actually a... guy."

Yuichi decided to take the typical response to learning the girl you crushed on was a man; he fainted.

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**So yeah I took out the rape scene, yeah I was uncomfortable about it. The changes weren't too drastic were they? Don't be too angry with me if the changes were not to your liking...**

**review?**

**-Mymomomo**


	20. When it rains it pours

**Yes that's right it's a new chapter! I know it's taken me quite some time to update school has been a headache, but now I'm on march break and have a bit of free time. So this chapter concludes the massive update of mine... no none of you have read this chapter before so stop sulking and smile. **

**Disclaimer: ... I would love to learn how to fly someday, but just like me owning bleach, it's never going to happen.**

**Enjoy^^**

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The next couple of weeks flew by for Toushiro. Before he knew it, it was time for the Miss Seireitei beauty pageant. The only good news with that was that it also meant that the potion was beginning to wear off. He couldn't see it, but he damn well could feel it. And it was as uncomfortable as hell both mentally and physically, he'd rather not think about the physical parts that were yet to happen, though.

_Well master I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing._

_It's a good thing of course. I don't think I could stand being a girl much longer._

_Yes but the pageant is coming up soon let's just hope you don't turn back before that._

Actually the dragon had a point there. Imagine him as a boy on stage in a kimono and bikini... Yes, the dragon had a very valid point. Toushiro blushed with embarrassment at the mental image.

The weeks that had past had kept the small boy as busy as possible. There was more paperwork than normal that needed to be completed. Plus the rehearsals for the pageant were time consuming much to his chagrin. The sergeant did not let up on him, rather she seemed to sniff out his stress and add more to the pile. Plus Yachiru wanted to play with him. He was honestly scared of the girl, and for him to say no to her was instant death. He had to sit patiently and endure her tea parties with a smile on his face. Well not so much a smile as a grimace. One time she had insisted that they play house and he was to be the baby. He had never been the same after that afternoon; he would never look at a baby bottle the same way again. The only good thing that had come out of it was that she had changed his nickname from Towel-head to Popsicle. The reason why was not to be disclosed. But then again, Yachiru had been the least of his problems and so had the pageant and even the paperwork. Yuichi Takahashi was his first priority and the cause of most of his stress.

He had explained everything to the boy, from the time Matsumoto had spilled the potion on him up till that fateful night. The boy had not taken it well to say the least. He had shunpoed away, and Toushiro had not even realised that he could do shunpo. After that there was no sign of the boy anywhere. Several times Toushiro had gone on arbitrary missions in order to search for him. But he was met with no luck. It was like Takahashi had disappeared from the Seireitei completely. And boy did Toushiro feel guilty because of it.

("\(T-T)/")

It was the first rain in a long time for the Seirietei. The term cats and dogs could not be used to describe the downpour, more like horses or whales. The random storm had been going since the previous night and it showed no signs of letting up. Dark grey clouds covered the sky making it impossible for sunlight to penetrate to the ground. Wind whipped at the roof tiles, threatening to rip them up and loose tree branches and other debris flew like crazed birds through the sky. Thunder seemed to be conducting its own little orchestra, punctuated every so often by a blinding flash of lightning. The pathways between the buildings of the Seireitei had been turned into rivers and anyone who was brave enough to set foot outside, if not blown away by the violent wind was soaked to the bone almost instantly. Needless to say, there was almost no physical activity going on in the Seireitei at the moment. It was not that they were afraid of the storm; it was just that it was not sensible to walk around in this type of weather.

Toushiro and Rangiku were holed up in the tenth division office. Rangiku had slept there for the night, well fallen asleep on the couch the day before and woken up the next morning, and Toushiro arrived there sometime earlier that morning. Nothing, repeat nothing, was going to stop him getting his paperwork done on time.

"Taicho! What are you doing?" The ginger woman had exclaimed as he entered the office soaked to the bone. Even his gravity defying spikes flopped into his face, and he was shivering. Though, he was the master of the strongest frost type zanpackuto it did not mean that he was a literal ice block, he was as subjective to low temperatures just as any other person was, he was just more resilient about it.

"Had to get to work." He mumbled heading over to his desk leaving a trail of water from the door.

"Oh no you don't! Look Taicho I'm not having you catch hypothermia on me." She tugged him away from the desk.

"Matsumoto please!"

She ignored him and sat him down on the couch, "Stay there. If I see you move an inch I'll make it so that you'll never move again." She headed over to the storage closet and returned with an armful of blankets. "I don't know what you were thinking coming over here in a storm like this, Taicho! You should have taken the day to rest! Don't think I haven't noticed how you stressed've been lately; you're going to crack soon if you don't take it easy." She sighed as she used a blanket to soak up the excess water that clung to him.

"I'm fine Matsumoto, you don't need to baby me." He mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow, "Oh so is fine for you completely stressed out? Taicho, I'm worried about you. You keep pushing yourself so much, I mean look at all of this, with the pageant, you being a girl and Yuichi-kun, and yet you still want to do you regular duties as a taicho."

"Well if I don't do them then nobody will-"

"That's not the point! The point is today you're going to sit here on this couch and relax."

"Matsumoto, there's work to be done!"

"I don't care. If someone doesn't take initiative you're going to work yourself until you fall down dead. Now take off your clothes and wrap yourself in these before you catch pneumonia."

_She does have a point, master. You've been really stressed out lately. You need a break sooner or later._

_But I can't take a break now! Look I still have all this paperwork to finish and I still have to make amends with Takahashi!_

_Not in this weather young man! You may be the master of snow and ice, but you go back out in this storm and I will personally kill you._

_Yeah, whatever._

_Love you too, master. _

For the next two hours or so Toushiro sat curled up on the couch wrapped in at least three layers of blankets. Matsumoto had personally removed his kodose and hakama after a short battle, but had given up and left him in the white shitagi. After sitting down and doing nothing for the better part of two hours it was only then he realised how tired he actually was. It had been a long few weeks and he had been going non-stop. But rather than sleeping his mind was going through a thousand and one things. He hated just sitting around doing nothing. He felt like he should be doing something, anything. But Matsumoto had told him that if he got up from the couch she would burn all the paperwork in the office. He wouldn't put it past her to do that, so he sat as quietly as he could. The rain drumming on the window was actually kind of relaxing, but he was too restless to relax.

_Master, just calm down for the love of-_

_I can't. There are so many constructive things I could be doing now. And here I am doing nothing, it's frustrating Hyourinmaru! And if I'm not even doing paperwork I could be looking for Yuichi! Even his father said he hadn't seen him in a while! What if something bad happened to him? And it'd be all my fault!_

_Well he certainly won't be wandering about in this weather._ The dragon grumbled, _At least see if you can get some sleep._

_I just told you I couldn't. _

Toushiro rolled his eyes, but sunk back further into the couch, resting the side of his head on the arm rest. The couch really was comfortable he mused, no wonder Matsumoto fell asleep on it so often- but that was not the matter at hand! He sat back up.

_Maaasterrrrrrrr, _Hyourinmaru moaned.

"Taicho, is there something wrong?" Rangiku asked from the desk where she was not doing paperwork.

"No, I just can't sit here doing nothing, when there's so much to be done."

"Well then this is a good thing because you'll have to learn to relax."

He tried to fold his arms across his chest, it was hard to move much when he was cocooned in layers of blankets. Everybody was acting like he was going to drop. He was a taicho of the gotei 13, he could handle more than any average shinigami, and he was _not _stressed!

_Yeah keep telling yourself that._

_Shut up, you. _

The dragon shrugged but receded back into his mind. Wonderful, now he could have a bit of peace and quiet. He closed his eyes despite his racing mind and leaned back into the back rest. Then all of a sudden he felt it; a surge of reiatsu that felt so familiar.

His eyes shot open and he jolted up right.

_Hyourinmaru was that..._

_I believe it was. The idiot... well don't just sit here go on. I know you want to. _

He nodded and stood up causing the blankets to fall to the floor.

"Taicho... TAICHO!" Matsumoto frowned as she watched him stand up. But he didn't even hear her as he ran to the door and out into the storm; both literally and figuratively.

"I knew it. It had to be you." Toushiro dead panned. Rain plastered his hair to his forehead and his clothes to his skin. He could barely see two feet in front of him but he didn't care.

The figure of a teenage boy turned to face him. The brown hair that was usually full of curls hung limp around his face. It was hard to see in this weather but Toushiro could have sworn that he looked surprised. They stood silent in the rain for a while just staring at each other.

"What are you doing out in this weather?" Tosurhio demanded breaking the silence.

"I-I-I-"

"Never mind, you're soaked to the bone, just come with me." With that he grabbed the other boy's arm and dragged him back to the tenth division office.

Rangiku's only response when she saw them was to slap her forehead.

"I can't believe this. Taicho you just dried off and you run back out again! You're not even in your proper uniform!"

Toushiro looked down at himself realising that he was only dressed in his shitagi and he was soaking wet as well.

Matsumoto went on, "And you Yuichi-kun, what were you doing out in this storm? I expected as much from this little workaholic, but what on earth... You've gone missing for the past week or so then all of a sudden you turn up in the middle of a rain storm?"

The brown haired boy hung his head causing Matsumoto to sigh, "I'll go get some dry blankets, and the two of you go sit down."

She bustled over to the supply closet grumbling about the disregard of health of some people.

Yuichi and Toushiro stood awkwardly staring at each other. Toushiro had no idea how to start and Yuichi was on the same boat. They both had a bit of explaining to do.

Toushiro took a breath planning to start the conversation knowing that there was no way that Yuichi was going to speak first. But the brown haired boy surprised him.

"Kaida... erm... Taicho... I, um..." He trailed off.

Tosuhrio sighed as he took in Yuichi's awkward movements and his sudden interest in the forming puddles on the floor. "Takahashi," he might as well get this over as quick as possible, "I'm sorry."

Yuichi looked like he wanted to disagree with something but Toushiro held up a hand, "Let me get this off my chest first. I apologise for this entire situation I put you in, for playing around with you and for lying to you. I should have told you straight away, but I didn't. I didn't want you to know who I really was and this is the result. I obviously made the wrong decision. I can understand if you don't want anything else to do with me anymore, I will even sign a division transfer form if you so please. I just want you to know how sorry I am and if there's anything in my life I regret it's this. The thing is Takahashi, I can honestly say I liked being around you and you were one of the few people I considered a friend. But I guess I was scared to tell you the truth, of what you would have thought of me. It's difficult being the youngest Taicho ever, people are always waiting for me to mess up, and if the news got out that I was a girl I think I might have lost all credibility. But what for whatever reason, not telling you was wrong. You were nothing but kind... a good friend to me and I betrayed that trust." He ended the speech with a low bow in front of the other boy. "If you never forgive me I understand, I... I just wanted to tell you that I am truly sorry."

_Well that was certainly touching, Master. I had no idea you could-_

_He deserves to know why. I feel like I totally betrayed him, what kind of taicho does that to one of his men? I can compare myself to Aizen right now._

_No, you're nothing like Aizen. Get that idea out of your head this instant. All of your intentions were made with a good heart it just didn't turn out for the best. _

_Yeah, but I have a feeling that this is the last I'm going to be seeing of Yuichi..._

It was amazing he never thought that one person would have had such an effect on him. He was actually going to miss the boy when he left. He felt a dull tightness in his chest and his throat constricted.

_Look at me crying now,_ he thought bitterly, _you would think that he's dying or something... Damn Mayuri and his blasted potion! _His vision started to blur and he angrily wiped at his face.

_Master... _

_This is ridiculous! I can't ... I can't-_

Toushiro was startled back into reality when he felt a hand on his head.

"Kai-Taicho, stand up. You don't have to apologise to me."

Toushiro remained in the bow, "But I-"

He heard Yuichi sigh, "I... I did some thinking this past week, and well yes I'm embarrassed that all of this came to play, but the fact that you told me, before things started to get out of hand... well I thank you for that Kaid... Taicho."

Toushiro jolted upright again and stared confused at Yuichi, "What? But I lied to you; you have no reason to forgive me."

Yuichi scratched the back of his neck, "Are... are you crying?"

"Never mind that. It's the blasted potion; all my damn hormones are all over the place!"

Yuichi chuckled despite the atmosphere, "That's why. I realised that I liked you too much to be angry at you. And now I know who you really are I've come to realise that you're a really nice person, Taicho, I liked being around you as well. I don't want a division transfer, but I wouldn't mind putting all of this behind us and just..." he took a deep breath, "Just be friends."

Toushiro's jaw dropped. Was the boy serious? Surely he had to feel betrayed; he must have some bitter of resentful feelings towards him. There was no way that one person could have that much goodness in him. It was just impossible.

_Master, this is Yuichi were talking about, Yuichi Takahashi. We've figured out before, there's no limit to his 'goodness'. _

_But... but, he still wants to be friends..._

_Take him up on the offer; you're a bit short of people in the friend department. _

_Oh shut up, if that's anyone's fault it's yours._

_How is it my fault that you've got a stick shoved up your butt?_

... Wanna say that again?

_How is it my fault that you've got a stick-_

_I didn't mean repeat it, you idiot! And for your information there's nothing up my butt._

_Oh really? Have you checked lately?_

_That's it. I don't want to hear another word from you!_

The dragon receded into the back of his mind chuckling. As annoying as he was, the dragon had a point, not about the stick part, though. Yuichi had been a very good friend and it would be a pity to lose him.

He let out a deep breath, "I have no objections to your offer, Takahashi"

The smile that broke out on Yuichi's face almost caused the rain to stop. "Really?"

"Again, it's not in my habit to joke."

"Oh, well then, do you mind calling me by my given name, Taicho... if it's not too much to ask."

_That has always been a nasty habit with you, Master, you're always too formal._

_I thought I told you-_

_Well don't keep the poor boy waiting!_

Toushiro sighed, "Very well then. But I'm telling you right now, I will not answer to Toushiro. We may be friends now, but I still am your superior and I demand such respect."

_You're hopeless, master, you know you were given a name for a reason..._

Yuichi laughed, this time full blown laughed. "Particular about the title as always, Taicho."

Toushiro smirked, "I'm serious Taka... Yuichi, I have an image to uphold."

"What about when you're off duty?"

"I'm always on duty."

"What about when there's no one else around?"

"Are you going to keep on going on about this?"

"Yes."

"Fine when nobody else is around."

"Does Matsumoto-Fukutaicho count?"

"Ye... no."

"So can I start right now?"

"Yuichi!"

"Toushiro!"

He glared at the laughing boy for a second before shaking his head and smiling. Yeah, it really would have been a pity if Yuichi had left.

"Do I have to do everything myself? I gave you two enough time alone now sit down!" Matsumoto reappeared holding a pile of blankets. "Yuichi-kun you take off those wet clothes this instant, you too Taicho. You both are going to end up sick after this I swear. Well don't just stand there looking at me I gave you two an order. Get to it."

They both sighed.

A few minutes and many reddened cheeks later all three of them sat bundled up in blankets on the floor around the coffee table with cups of hot green tea talking (A/N: the people not the cups of green tea). Matsumoto had almost bodily forced their clothes off until they had decided to comply and undressed on opposite sides of the room. Rangiku had decided to forego the rest of the paperwork that afternoon (much to Toushiro's annoyance) and sat with them wrapped in a blanket herself. It was a bit chilly with all the rain, even Toushiro had to admit. But the fact that he was butt naked under the blanket probably had something to do with it. He tried not to think about it too much though. The only other consoling fact was that Yuichi accompanied him in the nakedness factor... if that was consoling. He was so doubling Matsumoto's paperwork after this.

But that aside he was content, and at last his mind was not racing with a thousand and one things. And his tiredness finally caught up with him. He felt himself starting to doze off and his eyes began to droop. He held back a yawn determined to stay up and take part in the conversation, even if was about absolutely nothing. But his mind and his body wanted two different things. Yuichi's and Matsumoto's voiced began to fade and his vision blurred, but his arms were much too tired to rub his eyes or do anything about it. So finally giving into sleep he slumped over the coffee table and began to snore lightly.

"Isn't that precious?" Rangiku asked smiling. "He fell asleep."

Yuichi chuckled, "He's been nodding off for the past twenty minutes or so. I've been wondering when he was going to doze off."

"He tries to act all grown up, but really when you get down to it he's still just a child, a little, tired child. He was so worried about you Yuichi, you should have seen him. Yuichi promise me that you'll be a good friend. Heaven knows how much he needs one."

Yuichi cocked his head and regarded the sleeping taicho. "He would have so much more friends if he just showed this side of his more often."

Rangiku beamed, "If you cause him any more stress I will personally see to your death. Keep that in mind."

He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"He's going to wake up with a sore back if he sleeps like that." She observed. She stood up and stretched, "Guess I'll move him to the couch."

"No I'll do it." He stood up as well and scooped the small boy (girl) into his arms. Toushiro stirred a bit but didn't wake up. He was about to place him on the couch when he realised it was wet. "Actually, let's bring him to his quarters."

"Yuichi..."

"It's okay the storm has let up."

They looked out the office window and surely a few faint rays of sunlight parted the now fleeting grey clouds. (A/N: and so that was a technique called pathetic fallacy, as you can see it's called pathetic for a reason.)

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**And thus begins the delument for Twisted Reality, only three or four more chapters to go people :\ Wow, my little baby's growing up... well it has almost been a year already... really an entire year since chapter one, it only feels like yesterday since I started this story 0.o where does all the time go? But yeah, I will be wrapping this story up in the next few chapters or so.**

**The scene at the end is one of my favourites that I have ever written. I don't know why, I just love writing about sleepy Shiro. Sue me, but I think he's cute when he sleeps. **

**So, to all those who were expecting Yuichi to blow up or something, or even avoid Shiro... well I just couldn't picture him doing something like that... he did disappear for around two weeks so that was the avoiding part of things, but he's far to kind to hold grudges. And well once they put the whole crush thing behind them there's no reason why they can't be good friends right?**

**Oh and in case you didn't know, pathetic fallacy is when the surrounding environment mirrors a character's feelings in a story. So sad could equal grey skies, happy; a lot of sun; sick idk a tsunami or something. but you get the idea. **

**Review please?**

**-Mymomomo**


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